Short and Sweet - Its Been On My Mind

Dear Dr S - Anaethetist,

What is up with you charging me so damn much for your services ? If I knew you were going to make me pay through the nose, I would have drunk myself into a stupor and knocked myself out. But i suppose its the old supply vs demand thing isnt it ?I needed the needle and you could supply that; however you dont need the money ( which i dont exactly have to supply ). Therefore, I'm going to pay you in installments - let you sweat on it a little.
How do you like them apples ?
Amy
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Dear She Who Feels So Hard Done By,

You're joking, right? I hate to tell you, but you reap what you sow. How you could expect love after giving no affection, respect after years of thinly velied insults, and admiration without innovation is beyond me. Perhaps if you'd made all these efforts ten or fifteen years ago, the end result might have been different. As it stands, your probably better off cultivating relationships with the new little people in your life.
Better luck the second time around,
Amy
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Dear P,

So glad you had a happy birthday! Thankyou for indulging my need to go out for brunch; sorry we got sunburnt. Also, thanks for taking me to see your neice - she is too gorgeous! I get so carried away in m own two neices, I forget how cute other peoples kids can be. My fingers are crossed that you have your own cute little kidlets by the end of this year.
I'll get back to you about my birthday wish list,
Amy
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Dear Chadwick,

So good to hear from you! The best emails are the ones that come completely out of the blue - or the white, as it were, seeing as you've told me your snowed under up there in Canada. You need to get your arse down here to Australia and get yourself a tan. Although, as the public service ads here warn us " Tanning is skin cells in trauma ". I swear that ad makes me want tot throw up. But forget all that - we have to save some money and get our respective selves on another holiday. Seriously, you were the best travel buddy of the bunch.
Wanna hit up Morrocco ?
Amy
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( Thanks to this post by Andy for the " short letters " idea ).