Change

It surprises me sometimes how much can change in a year. Whether that be physically, emotionally, or spiritually. A lot can happen in 365 days. Knowing how fast things can change, I'm still caught off guard when changes happen. Suddenly I realize that freshman dude is actually taller than me (which is happening more and more. I think it's the water, because I know a lot of tall freshmen), or I realize I don't feel the same way about this subject or that, or I realize I can't go to sleep without getting into God's Word first. That's happened to me a lot over this past year. I feel like I've changed.As strange as it is to say, I've gotten to know myself better. I'm more at ease with who I am and I've accepted who I am and who's I am.

"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
Isaiah 43:1 b

I don't know if you know what a comfort that is but I can assure you it is an amazing one. To know that no matter what God calls me his own. Nothing is better, once you can accept it.
Choosing to accept that I am God's was hard for me. It wasn't so much him calling me his own but that he created me to be his own. That he created me, as I am, for his purpose. I couldn't wrap head around God wanting me to be this way. I didn't know what God would do with me and why he would make me as he did.
If the Bible tells us to have a gentle and quite spirit, why would God give me a restless spirit that is hard to keep quiet? If I'm to follow God why did he make me so independent? If he wants me to do -blip- why did he make me so -blip-? These were things I asked over and over and over again. I really wanted to know why I had to be me and why He hadn't made me more like -blip- person.
Over the past year though I had to take a really good look at myself. I saw that I really didn't know what made me tick and such. I began a Bible study at church called "Experiencing God," I've talked about it before I think, and it is what really helped open my eyes to how God worked in me. I kept asking the same questions throughout the first few weeks of this study and I finally got an answer. I asked one more time why I could be a certain way and I felt God say, "Because you're you."
That caught me off guard. I knew God had made me on the outside as he wanted me to be but to think he had made me what I am inside. He made me, and designed each quality, good and bad, specifically for his person. If I were independent, it would not be a lesson for me to have to follow him. If I wasn't so restless inside, I would never want to know what was beyond what I know now. Realizing this has opened so many doors in my mind. It has opened me up to things I never would have been open to before. God knows what's going to happen in my life. He knows who I'm going to become. He knows all this because I am His. Thank you God for knowing what you were doing!

Sometimes we want to change things that weren't meant to be changed. And sometimes things change in ways we swore would never happen. It's about be open and willing to wait to see what God is trying to do with this change of view, venue, or what in your life is changing.

I hope you enjoyed.