Lovin' It, Sepia Style

Ooh, it seems like ages since i've done a Blog This! challenge ( even though i actually write for the blog...oops! ). So i thought this week seemed like as good a week as any to get back aboard the challenge train, and seeing is this week is a photo challenge it could be easier! Whats the brief?
Share your favourite sepia photo with the world.


Your photo can be of anything, just keep in sepia tones!

Thats one of the photos we had taken when Flynn was 3 months old ( almost, nearly, a year ago! ). Even though it turned out he was running a fever and THATS why he wouldnt stop crying, i like this picture, with his big brown eyes, his little squishy lips and his fat chubby hands. Sure, he looks sad, but it was essentially a good day and the first professional photos ( my friend is professional photography, and was just starting up her business - we were like her guinea pigs! ) we had taken of him. Oh Flynny - i cant believe you used to be that small!

Conversations, Bohm and [be] Careful with that Axe Eugene

Tomorrow is the last day of the first month of 2011 – the first 31 days of the year will have passed, and the first month done. Like many of the previous 23 days, the last seven have also been extremely hectic, full on in terms of people and places to see and have been days filled with 100s of different conversations.

These were conversations to comfort the sick, or those that involved whispering the answers to difficult questions into the ears of others; there have been conversations that have challenged ideas and perceptions (mine and those of others), happy and humorous conversations that helped make light of difficult contexts, rhetorical conversations (I attended an action learning set on Monday), networking conversations with peers across the UK, snatched conversations spoken in code, relaxed conversations over a glass of wine (or two), and one slightly surreal conversation with a lady who made sandwiches for a living.

One of my favorite contributors to our thinking on conversations is the late David Bohm. Bohm, a quantum physicist was also interested in philosophy and in this context developed an approach to conversation that draws on the notion of dialogue. For Bohm, dialogue presents the opportunity for preconceptions, prejudices and the characteristic patterns that inform our thoughts, opinions, beliefs and feelings to be examined and explored in the context of the roles we choose to inhabit. For Bohm, dialogue represents ‘a flow of meaning’, whereas discussion implies 'a shaking apart'. Dialogue starts with 'listening and speaking with', discussion with 'talking, and talking to'.

In the year that I was born, Bohm published a work that examined the notion of thought as a system – this is a concept that resonates with my view of the world, although I have struggled and struggled at times in really understanding this aspect of his work. It was only when I re-discovered Bion (thanks Sue) that I began to have some idea as to what Bohm might be saying. I am fascinated by Bion’s notion of thoughts (being) in search of a thinker, and this is perhaps an idea as close to Bohms thesis as it is possible to get.

One of Bohms earliest influences would have been Albert Einstein, with whom he worked for a number of years in the US. And of course it was Einstein who noted: ‘that to raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science’. Perhaps what Einstein was talking about, is the ability (or not) for any of us to see imagination as being more important than knowledge.

And much to my later discomfort, one of the conversations I had this week involved a colleague saying they could not imagine me doing such and such a thing, to which I somewhat thoughtlessly responded by saying this was probably because they didn’t have any imagination. I have pondered on this encounter since, and my discomfort remains. It was Gareth Morgan (of Imaginization fame) who once said that most of us are not very good at workplace conversations. We say things which we ought not to say and we do not say things which we ought to say.

Morgan’s work was highly influential in shaping what the linguist George Lakoff and philosopher Mark Johnson had to say about how we use metaphors to define our reality and then how we proceed to act on the basis of these metaphors. They argued that we draw inferences, set goals, make commitments, and execute plans, all on the basis of how we in part structure our experience, consciously and unconsciously, by means of metaphor.

My personal metaphor of the week draws upon the unknown but powerful axe wielding figure in Pink Floyds Careful with that Axe Eugene. This is an instrumental piece of music that only features an organ and base guitar. The music slowly builds upon an almost hypnotic rhythm which culminates in the song's only lyrics (the songs title) being whispered menacingly, once, followed by Roger Waters issuing a piecing scream. As it’s my metaphor, its meaning, in the context of my week, remains mine.

Finally, my youngest daughter congratulated me on my carbon footprint savings this week. These savings resulting from the choices I had made in travelling to Edinburgh for the Council of Deans of Health meeting on Monday and Tuesday. It appears that by catching a train there and back I only used 43 kilograms of CO2 compared to 92 if I had driven, or 111 by plane – a saving equivalent, apparently, to the CO2 emission of 170 TVs being left on for 24 hours. How quickly our children grow up.

Isaiah 1:18

So. Much. Snow.

We have had an abnormal amount on snow here over the past month. We've had two storms that have dumped 4+ inches plus another two that went from rain to snow causing bad icy conditions. I know what you may think. Four inches isn't all that big of a deal. Well it is here. People go nuts over snow here. Freaking out about every snowflake, schools cancel for a threat of snow. At least it seems that way. I've had cabin fever bad too. Our driveway and road are impassable for more than 24 hours after a long snow or overnight storm. It got to the point that I was trying to find a reason to go anywhere, whether that be just a trip to the store or something along that line. Having all this snow produced some really good photos. I hope you enjoy!

Just Do It, Mr. President

“President Obama was in Hawaii for his Christmas vacation when Hawaii’s Governor Abercrombie said he wanted to find Obama’s birth certificate,” I said to the class. We were reviewing stories in the news after we returned from our week-and-a-half-long Christmas vacation.

“The New York Times reported on Christmas Eve,” I continued, “that: ‘Gov. Neil Abercrombie of Hawaii, who befriended President Obama’s parents when they were university students here, has been in office for less than three weeks. But he is so incensed over “birthers” — the conspiracy theorists who assert that Mr. Obama was born in Kenya and was thus not eligible to become president — that he is seeking ways to change state policy to allow him to release additional proof that the president was born in Honolulu in 1961.’”

“How can they say Obama’s not eligible to be president?” asked a boy. “He is the president, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” I said. “However, some people insist he was born in Kenya, Africa where his father lived. Such people are called “birthers” by the New York Times and others who think they’re nuts.”

“What do you think?” asked a girl.

“I’ve been hearing that story since before Obama was elected, but I’m skeptical. When I read that local newspapers reported on Obama’s birth in Honolulu back in 1961, I figured it must be true and stopped giving serious attention to the “birthers.” The skepticism had died down when Abercrombie called attention to it again. I hope he finds it and clears this up. If anyone can do it, I imagine the governor can. Of course, President Obama could do it too and I’m not sure why he doesn’t.”
“Have any of you had to get a copy of your birth certificate?” I asked. Several hands went up.

“I had to get one to prove how old I was for a Babe Ruth game,” said a boy.

“I had to get one so I could get a passport,” said a girl.

“I had to get one so I could visit someone in jail,” said another girl.

“So lots of people have to produce birth certificates for lots of reasons,” I said. “ “What if they find out that President Obama wasn’t born in the USA?” asked the girl. “What would happen then?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “It’s never happened before. Let’s hope we don’t have to figure that out. To see what the Constitution says about this, turn to page 879 in your textbooks.” I gave them a few minutes and said, “Look at Article 2, Section 1, Number 5 of the Constitution where it says ‘Qualifications.’ Could someone read that please?”

“‘No person except a natural born citizen or a citizen of the United States at the time of the adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible for the office of president; neither shall any person be eligible for that office who shall not have attained to the age of thirty-five years, and been fourteen years a resident in the United States,’” read a boy.

“Thank you,” I said.

“That’s all you need to be president? he asked.

“Yup. That’s all,” I said.

Two weeks later, I put a story up on the screen with an LCD projector. It was an article from the London Daily Mail with the headline: “Hawaii governor claims record of Obama's birth 'exists in archives' but can't produce the vital document." “Remember when we discussed this a couple of weeks ago?” I asked. “The story here says: ‘[Governor Abercrombie] told Honolulu's Star-Advertiser: 'It actually exists in the archives, written down,' he said. But it became apparent that what had been discovered was an unspecified listing or notation of Obama's birth that someone had made in the state archives and not a birth certificate. And in the same interview Abercrombie suggested that a long-form, hospital-generated birth certificate for Barack Obama may not exist within the vital records maintained by the Hawaii Department of Health.’”

“So now what?” asked a girl. “Will he have to resign?”

“I doubt it,” I said. “The so-called ‘birthers’ will continue to grumble, I guess. The article says: ‘[Abercrombie] acknowledged the birth certificate issue would  have 'political implications' for the next presidential election 'that we simply cannot have.’ So Obama’s friend Governor Abercrombie thinks it may hurt the president politically when he faces reelection in 2012 if he doesn’t come up with a birth certificate before then. People may think: ‘I have to produce a birth certificate when I’m asked. Why doesn’t the president?’”

Operation Slimdown - Welcome to 2011!

Welcome to the first " Operation Slimdown " update for this year everybody! ( Ok, not quite exciting enough to warrant an exclamation point but i digress... ). As usual, every second Tuesday finds me giving you a rundown of whats happening on the weightloss front however, this Tuesday ( and somewhat unusually ) i actually have something worth noting... a loss! Halle-freaking-lujah, i finally lost a decent amount of weight!

I know i set myself a goal of 10kgs lost by November 5th but i've been trying to lose weight since September. So whats changed to see this miraculous turnaround? Well, first off, its a bit of an attitude change - i kept saying i really wanted to lose the weight but i still kept eating the same food ( only, less of it ) and only exercising 3 times a week. After seeing myself in my sons Santa photos and having a cry, and then subsequently having a whinge to my dad ( no good whinging to Mick, he loves me the way i am. Bah! ) my dad said " Well why dont you pull your finger out and give it a good go, and stop sooking about it ? ". Aah....he may be a man of few words, but when my Dad does say something its usually pretty good advice. So, with that kick in the bum i did some research, asked a few people some questions and....changed my eating habits.

Monday the 10th of January i started a 12 day experiment. I challenged myself to have a " Celebrity Slim " shake or meal replacement for breakfast and follow the Tony Ferguson eating plan for other meals ( yes, just like religion, i pulled my weight loss philosophies from all over the place ). What did that mean exactly? NO CARBS - AT ALL. So for the 12 days leading up to my birthday i ate no bread, no cereal, no rice, no pasta, no flour products.... just the shake, at least 3 cups of vegies and 2 pieces of fruit,2 small serves of protein and at least 2L of water a day. I thought " I'll do this for 12 days and see if it works, and on day 13 i'll reward myself with birthday cake! ". A pretty good plan, methought. How good? Lets go to the stats:
Bust: 93cm - down 4.5cm
Waist: 78.5cm - down 3.5cm
Hips 101cm - down 2cm
Bum: 104cm - down 4cm
Thigh: 65.5cm - down 1cm
Weight: 74.1kg -  down 3.7kgs

Oh yea - down 3.7kgs in 12 days! And, as you can see, shrinking measurements all over the place. I am very proud of myself for having the discipline to steer clear of carbs for 12 days ( lovely, lovely delicious carbs ), although i'm not so proud of the huge bowl of pasta i ate to celebrate my birthday ( hello stomach ache! ). So there you go, the tale of the tape... and this week its a good story! I'm going to try and cut way down on the carbs, and every so often i might do a week totally carb free, but this 3.7kg loss has totally reinvigorated my drive to lose 10 kgs by my wedding. Wish me luck!

Birthday Blues

Firstly – yes, i know i haven’t posted for a week. Its uncharacteristic. Truth be told, i have no excuse except the fact that i couldn’t really be bothered. I have been reading, and commenting, on other peoples blogs, i just haven’t been enthused enough to write anything on mine. But i digress....


For those of you have been paying attention the past few weeks, this past Saturday was my 27th birthday. I had big plans to go to the zoo with Mick and Flynn but the stinking hot weather put an end to that ( too hot for us, and too hot for the animals to even bother coming out of their shade or shelters ). No matter – i thought my boys could take me to lunch, and then i could have birthday cake with my family. All good.

But it wasn’t – it wasn’t all good at all. My mind, and my heart, wouldn’t let it be. I wanted so much to really enjoy my birthday, to enjoy the time with my family, but i just couldn’t. Somewhere in the back of my mind, in the depths of my heart....there she was. There it was – the shadow of my lost friendship, hanging like a black cloud over everything. Even though i was surrounded by family, i felt like something ( or someone ) was missing. The first birthday with no “ happy birthday! “ text, no card, no shared cake. And even though i had loving family around me i felt strangely, mind-numbingly, alone.

I had lunch with Mick ( Flynns teeth were playing up and i didn’t fancy having a squirmy, sooky toddler with me at the restaurant), then we had birthday cake at home, an d then i went for dinner at my parents ( which i didn’t eat, because i didn’t feel hungry ). The first chance i got i snuck off and sobbed my heart out, the kind of sobbing that makes you dry heave and makes your head ache. My dad came and found me and i poured my heart out to him – he’s always really good with advice and gave me a few words of wisdom, and confirmed that i am NOT, in fact, a horrible person. So i swallowed my tears and went down to the loungeroom to watch “ Toy Story 3 “.

And thats my birthday – drowned in a sea of lonliness and bitterness and hurt, and seemingly controlled by someone who wasn’t even there. Bring on my 28th!

Foucauldian Tendentiousness, Hot Water and Man-induced Man Flu?

Apart from Monday this has been a lovely week. Unfortunately, on Monday I was definitely up to my neck in hot water at home (something to do with tractors). However, the rest of the week was good.

This week I was privileged to be able to teach twice, with two different groups of year three students. These were mental health nurse students, and my task was to help them work through the possible implications of a rapidly changing policy landscape for the provision of mental health care in the UK. This is one of my favorite sessions to facilitate. My approach is based upon generating opportunities for the students to explore and learn at the edges of knowledge, knowing and not knowing. This approach can often result in students experiencing what has been described as troublesome knowledge. I think this a good thing. What worries me more is when students are not particularly worried about what it is they don’t yet know.

For example, not one of the students in both groups knew who Michel Foucault was. As I have possibly said before in these blog postings, Foucault is a favorite philosopher and sociologist of mine. He was ultimately a modest man. He didn’t see himself as a philosopher and described his ideas and concepts not as knowledge, but as a kind of tool box that others might rummage through to find the ‘tool’ that might help them in their own endeavors. This is a notion that fits very well with my own approach to becoming and being an academic. My goal, as an academic, is not to write about my ideas and thoughts for an audience to simply read, but rather to present these thoughts and ideas for people to consider, argue with and hopefully use.

I use Foucault in my session both because of the way he dealt with his own mental health problems, and because of his views on the society he found himself in. Tendentially, this was a society he saw as being regulated, anatomical, hierarchal, where time is carefully distributed, its spaces partitioned, and behaviours are characterised by obedience and surveillance. For the free sprit in me, such a state is an anathema.

Interestingly, at least for me, on this occasion I experienced the closure of the theory – practice gap. One of the examples I use to illustrate Foucault's notion of the pervasive and hidden hand of the State’s involvement in controlling our lives is the proposal by the previous Labour Government to insist that we all fitted something called a thermostatic mixing valve (TMV) to our baths to prevent people from inadvertently scalding themselves. Mary Creagh, Labour MP for Wakefield, in 2008 tabled a private members bill that proposed TMV’s were fitted to all new, refurbished and change of use homes. These devices ensure that water only reaches a maximum of 46° C well below the temperature that might cause injury. This technology is not new; it was developed in the Glasgow laundries in the 1920s and '30s.

The Bill never bcame law and up until this week, I have always said this proposal was something that would result in a gross infringement on our personal liberties and ability to choose to live a life as we wanted. Who, I thought, would be daft enough to run a bath that was so hot it would cause scalding as someone went to sit in it. How wrong could I be?

This week one of my colleagues badly scalded themselves stepping into a bath (run by their other half) entirely filled with very hot water. Unbeknown to me until this week was the fact that hot bath water is the number one cause of severe scalding injuries among young children, the elderly and infirm in the UK. Every year around 20 people die from scalds caused by hot bath water, and a further 570 people suffer serious scald injuries.

Whilst hot baths can therefore be dangerous, they have also been used as a form of treatment. In 100 BCE, the Greek physician Asclepiades initiated what was described as the humane treatment of patients with mental illness using hot therapeutic baths, massage, exercise, and music. And as late as 1930, ice water baths were used, along with shock machines and electro-convulsive therapy to treat those were said to have a mental illness.

As I write this week’s blog, I feel I am suffering from what appears to be a bad case of flu. On Friday I was given the flu vaccine, as a way of avoiding going down with the real thing. I was told (by the Nurse) the vaccination would protect me, which is possibly a good thing given a total of 254 people have died of flu in the UK since September last year with 195 of these deaths being associated with the H1N1 infection. Professor John Watson, the Health Protection Agency’s head of respiratory diseases, said on Friday, “We expect further deaths to be reported and confirmed by us over the coming weeks”. I am hoping I got the vaccination in time and the symptoms I am experiencing this morning are simply [sic] the side effects of the jab. However, I won't be getting up to have a hot bath to see if this helps make me feel better…

Change

It surprises me sometimes how much can change in a year. Whether that be physically, emotionally, or spiritually. A lot can happen in 365 days. Knowing how fast things can change, I'm still caught off guard when changes happen. Suddenly I realize that freshman dude is actually taller than me (which is happening more and more. I think it's the water, because I know a lot of tall freshmen), or I realize I don't feel the same way about this subject or that, or I realize I can't go to sleep without getting into God's Word first. That's happened to me a lot over this past year. I feel like I've changed.As strange as it is to say, I've gotten to know myself better. I'm more at ease with who I am and I've accepted who I am and who's I am.

"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
Isaiah 43:1 b

I don't know if you know what a comfort that is but I can assure you it is an amazing one. To know that no matter what God calls me his own. Nothing is better, once you can accept it.
Choosing to accept that I am God's was hard for me. It wasn't so much him calling me his own but that he created me to be his own. That he created me, as I am, for his purpose. I couldn't wrap head around God wanting me to be this way. I didn't know what God would do with me and why he would make me as he did.
If the Bible tells us to have a gentle and quite spirit, why would God give me a restless spirit that is hard to keep quiet? If I'm to follow God why did he make me so independent? If he wants me to do -blip- why did he make me so -blip-? These were things I asked over and over and over again. I really wanted to know why I had to be me and why He hadn't made me more like -blip- person.
Over the past year though I had to take a really good look at myself. I saw that I really didn't know what made me tick and such. I began a Bible study at church called "Experiencing God," I've talked about it before I think, and it is what really helped open my eyes to how God worked in me. I kept asking the same questions throughout the first few weeks of this study and I finally got an answer. I asked one more time why I could be a certain way and I felt God say, "Because you're you."
That caught me off guard. I knew God had made me on the outside as he wanted me to be but to think he had made me what I am inside. He made me, and designed each quality, good and bad, specifically for his person. If I were independent, it would not be a lesson for me to have to follow him. If I wasn't so restless inside, I would never want to know what was beyond what I know now. Realizing this has opened so many doors in my mind. It has opened me up to things I never would have been open to before. God knows what's going to happen in my life. He knows who I'm going to become. He knows all this because I am His. Thank you God for knowing what you were doing!

Sometimes we want to change things that weren't meant to be changed. And sometimes things change in ways we swore would never happen. It's about be open and willing to wait to see what God is trying to do with this change of view, venue, or what in your life is changing.

I hope you enjoyed.

Don't Apologize

Did Governor LePage tell the NAACP to “kiss my butt”? Well, yes and no.

The NAACP expects politicians to kiss their butt, and for decades they’ve gotten in line, kneeled down, and puckered up. Many resented it, but they held their noses and laid on the lip smacks anyway. While the NAACP may once have been a legitimate civil rights organization, they have devolved into a condescending, left-wing, special-interest group and their biggest interest is playing on white guilt to further their far-left agenda - especially racist policies like Affirmative Action. Martin Luther King would never have supported it, saying as he did: “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”Maine’s new governor is unpretentious. He’s conservative so I’m inclined to like him, but his candor is most refreshing: “I’ve not yet learned to speak out of both sides of my mouth,” he says. Liberals, who have been running Maine for decades, find him appalling. They claim he told the NAACP to “kiss my butt.” He didn’t, actually, but that’s what is going out over national news. Ben Jealous, CEO of the national NAACP, wants LePage to apologize.

To put this into perspective, we must go back a bit. First, LePage is in sync with the Tea Party movement whose primary goal is to limit government to what the framers of our Constitution intended. Thousands of small-government-conservative candidates for state and federal offices across the country were swept into office as the Tea Party changed American politics. Big government liberals are in shock and desperate to stop it. Trying to pin the recent Arizona shootings on them is only their latest in a series of attempts to tarnish them. Maine elected a conservative governor because enough people - even in this very liberal state - see big government as the problem, not the solution.

While LePage campaigned against big government last October, opponents videotaped him saying: "We came from behind because we have a message. We have a message that says:  One, we've had enough of the federal government. We've had enough. Two, we've had enough of the state government. And number three, government should be working for the people, not the people working for the government. And as your governor, you're gonna be seeing a lot of me on the front page saying Governor LePage tells Obama to go to hell."

Well, that last phrase is exactly what liberals in Maine were hoping for as they followed LePage around with a video camera. The comment made national news, but the context in which it was spoken did not. Obama is the quintessential big government liberal. Obamacare is his signature accomplishment and the Tea Party was born in opposition to it. Government will take over 18% of our entire economy and force Mainers to buy health insurance. Obamacare’s constitutionality is being challenged by dozens of states in federal court for exercising power the constitution didn’t grant it. Obama has run up more debt and expanded government more than any other president in American peacetime history, and it all makes life much more difficult for state governors like LePage.

Any criticism of President Obama is assumed by our liberal mainstream media to be racially motivated. They think all conservatives - especially us rural types - are dumb rednecks. Obama himself said: “They get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

So, when LePage declined the Maine NAACP’s invitation to an event at the Maine State Prison last weekend, the media pressed him. LePage knew where they were going and he said the NAACP was a special interest group, while he represents all Mainers. A reporter asked how he would respond to those who claim his decision not to attend was part of a negative pattern (in other words - what do you say to people who imply that you’re a racist?), he smiled and said: “Tell them to kiss my butt.” Cameras were running, so it’s on video.Last July, the NAACP accused the Tea Party of racism. There was no evidence, but a lack of evidence never stops liberals from accusing conservatives - as we’re seeing in Arizona. The mainstream media is always ready to amplify baseless accusations because perception is reality in politics. People vote based on their perception of issues and the liberal media, until just recently, have enjoyed monopolistic control over that perception. Lately conservatives have used talk radio, Fox News, and the internet to chip away at their monopoly and that’s driving liberals crazy.One of the first things LePage did as governor was to rescind his predecessor’s executive order banning state employees from inquiring about anyone’s immigration status. Now police, welfare officials, or anyone else can refuse to grant special privileges to illegal aliens. Maine is no longer a sanctuary state. Naturally, Maine chapters of both the far-left NAACP and the ACLU organized a protest against LePage for Martin Luther King Day. In Maine and Arizona, liberals consider those of us who are against paying benefits for illegal aliens sneaking into the United States to be just as “racist” as the Tea Party.

Governor LePage shouldn’t apologize for telling them all to kiss his butt. In fact, he should tell them more often.

Smile For A While

Bare with me while i babble - i'm just going to write, even though i dont have anything specific to say, because i want to. Need to, even. See in the wake of the personal tragedy unfolding in the blog world, and the devastation in Queensland ( and northern NSW and now Victoria ) and hell, the untold suffering the world over, i want to write, but i dont want to write anything sad, or sensitive, or sorry. I would love to write something extraordinarily uplifting, a post that would get linked to and Twittered about, that would be sent around the world to bring a smile to the face of people everywhere. Sadly, i dont think i really have that in me. At least not today. With that in mind, however, i thought i could at least bring a smile to one persons face, in the hope that smiling is contagious. And so, ladies and gentlepeople, here is a short list of 5 things that have made me smile in the past fortnight of gloom:

1. Flynn turning around and blowing a raspberry " pfft! " noise really loudly after his Daddy had...erm..."passed gas". Seems he is already, at one year and 20 days old, a typical boy who finds farts funny. Who am i kidding? Farts are funny to everyone!

2. Losing weight - i know, finally! For those of you following along with my Operation Slimdown, keep your eyes peeled for an official update next week.

3. Finishing two books inside of two weeks - its not a record, but i reckon its pretty good, especially with a demanding little person crawling around. I read " The Persimmon Tree " and " Fishing For Stars ", both by Bryce Courtenay, back to back ( you know, seeing as one is the sequel to the first ). I really enjoyed the " The Persimmon Tree " but felt that " Fishing For Stars " got bogged down a little too much in unneeded details, which made it a bit harder to get through.
 
4. Swimming in the afternoons. Our neighbour has gone away for a few weeks and granted us full permission to use her pool ( as long as we also clean the filter ). Its been nice just to be able to pop across the road for a quick dip when we get home from work, and Flynn is beginning to love the water. Ooh, and bonus smile: he looks so cute with his big fat tummy in his swimmers!
 
5. The idea of being able to go clothes shopping soon - not on a grand scale, but rumour has it that my mum and dad are going to give me some cash for this purpose for my birthday. I havent been able to go clothes shopping for a while - baby stuff and maternity-leave-without-pay put a bit of a dent in my clothes shopping budget - so the thought of being able to take a bit of time and find a few cute things has made me smile...

I like my lunchbox

Talking Stoicism and the Telling of Touching Tales

I have been involved in a great deal of talking this week. Some of these conversations have been difficult and have appeared to evoke powerful emotions in others. Throughout the week, the impact on individuals has been plain to see. How one responds to such emotionality is important.

In the first week of their experience as a student nurse or midwife I meet  all as the students as a group to talk about what becoming a nurse or a midwife might entail. I believe that in order to care for others we must also learn how to care for ourselves. So part of my talk highlights the tensions involved in learning to become a professional, and how we all need to embrace rather than reject or suppress the emotionality of practice. I am interested in getting the students to start thinking about their understanding of their self and their self in relation to others. Critical to developing this understanding is the need to find different ways of communicating with each other. Such communication, between the carers and the recipients of care has to be so much more than simply talking (to each other). True therapeutic endeavour and communication involves recognising of the humanity in self and others. Getting to this place clearly takes experience, reflective thinking, and awareness of self. Arthur Frank, the Canadian sociologist describes the importance of achieving effective communication through dialogue: ‘To exist as a human is to communicate with others.’

He observed in his wonderful book, The Renewal of Generosity: Illness, Medicine and How to Live, that often such dialogue is replaced by a professional discourse. The use and reliance on this professional response might be both conscious and unconscious. Indeed twice this week, in different contexts, I was told I had slipped into therapist mode, when something different, more personal perhaps was required. Whilst I joked that being theraputic was the default postion for mental health nurses, in my heart I knew my response was a consquence of a defended me. Borrowing from what Winnicott describes in his work (Clinical Varieties of Transference) as: 'every failed analysis being a faliure of the analyst not the patient', my use of a professional discourse was detrimental to all of us involved. Franks links the need to achieve the dialogical communication to Stoic philosophy. Stoicism, whether espoused by the nurse, midwife, social worker or patient, asks: ‘who are you choosing to be’, regardless of where you find yourself, and ‘is that your best choice?’ It is the Dialogical Stoic which provides us with insight as to ‘how to be’ or ‘how to live’.

The experiences of this week have shown me that, ‘how to be’ in situations that might be experienced as stressful or difficult either by me or others can sometimes require more than just the verbal form of communication. In those difficult conversations this week with colleagues I clealry failed to recognise the need for or provide the holding environment Winnicott talks of,  made up of the physical, emotional and psychological, but also more than these.

As I have also been reminded this week sometimes it can be difficult to replace words with a gesture that allows us to reach out and provide that physical and emotional connection. Often simply a look or touch is more effective than words, and can demonstrate the generosity and consolation Franks describes as being an essential element in building effective relationships between the carer and cared for.

I am determined to try and remember that as all our worlds continue to change and become more turbulent we all need to be aware of the way in which such changes can challenge our ontological security, or the ontological security of others. Being there for our self of others is not only about what we say but what we do and the way we chose to be. Franks book is well worth a read if you haven’t already done so. Constructed around the stories of Franks own experiences and the experiences of others, the book provides and opportunity to truly reflect and better understand the nature of our intra, and interpersonal relationships. These are touching tales indeed.

The Little Things Like Blowing Your Nose

Two weeks ago I had the pleasure (NOT) of having my wisdom teeth out. I got through the pain after a rough time with the medicine, many hours of ice pack and frozen peas on my chipmunk looking cheeks, and a couple of weeks of not being able to open my jaw as wide as I would like to. There was one thing though that got me. One of my upper wisdom teeth was in my sinus and when removed left a hole that needed to be stitched up. This isn't as bad as it sounds. It only bothered me the day of my surgery. I did however have a long list of things to do and not do in order to care for these stitches. One was not to blow my nose. For two weeks. This wouldn't have been so bad if I had been able to take the cold medicine they suggested but I couldn't take it. I got a cold.
I never realized how much I would want to blow my nose until I couldn't.
That happens a lot in life. Ha ha! I did find a parallel to this!
It's easy to talk a big game and take for granted the little things we can do. Like walking or talking or blowing your nose. We don't think twice before walking across the room to get something. We don't pay attention to how much we use our voice to communicate.
I've had time to think about these things. I learned very quickly how much I liked being able to walk without pain. When I lost my voice, I saw how much I needed it. Having a stopped up nose and not being able to do anything about it, I realized how something as simple as that could make such a big difference.
Needless to saw I can now blow my nose. I was able to yesterday. It was glorious (if blowing your nose can be that).
So after you read this think about some small stuff that can make a big difference.

P.S. It's been snowing for three days here. I'm not happy about it. People get crazy when there are flakes a fallin'. Last week there were schools closed point three inches of snow. Oh the joys of southern living!!! Oh Some places have over a foot of snow. Can you believe there is over a foot of snow somewhere south of Nashville. That's crazy!

Propaganda Versus Evidence

“Are we going to have a moment of silence at eleven o’clock?” asked a student first thing Monday morning before classes started.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“President Obama wants to have a moment of silence because of the shooting in Arizona,” he said.

“Oh. I didn’t know that,” I answered. Later, the principal came over the loudspeaker to announce that the entire school would observe a moment of silence at eleven. The Arizona shooting clearly dominated everyone’s attention and, being responsible for teaching current events, I postponed my planned Monday lesson plan and used the story to reinforce some earlier lessons on the Bill of Rights, propaganda, and the political spectrum.

“Open your books to page 885,” I said when class started, “and look at Amendment 6 at the top. It reads: ‘In all criminal prosecutions, the accused’ - and that would be Jared Loughner, the alleged shooter in this case - ‘shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law . . .’”

“The ‘state and district’ mentioned would be Tucson, Arizona, which is in Pima County. The sheriff of Pima County is Democrat Charles Dupnik, and he made some controversial statements about why he thinks Loughner did what he did.”

“Sheriff Dupnik blamed former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and others for stirring up the shooter,” I explained. “Dupnik accused Palin of saying ‘We have people like Gabby Giffords in the crosshairs.’ Actually, Palin didn’t say that, but had published a map of the US showing congressional districts where Democrats like Gifford were targeted for defeat at the polls on election day. After Sheriff Dupnik said that, other Democrats made statements that it was right-wing conservatives in the Tea Party who provoked Loughner to shoot Congresswoman Gifford and the others.”

We had studied the political spectrum in class, so students knew what was meant by left-wing and right-wing. “Some people on the right have accused Sheriff Dupnik of using the shooting as propaganda to damage right-wing politicians,” I said. “I hope you remember what propaganda is.”

“Spreading information to help a cause or hurt an opposing cause,” said a girl.

“Yes,” I said. “We’ll look online for evidence that Jared Loughner was influenced by either right-wingers or by left-wingers. It’s only been 48 hours, but we’ll see if there’s any actual evidence out there to back up these claims, okay?”

They took out their laptops and started searching. On the blackboard, I wrote “Left Wing” on the left and “Right Wing” on the right. Some students read opinions like those expressed by Dupnik and I explained that opinions were not evidence. Then a student said, “Loughner wrote on Youtube that one of his favorite books was ‘The Communist Manifesto’ by Karl Marx. That’s left-wing,” the boy said.

“Right,” I answered. We had studied Marx as the founder of communism and I listed that as evidence on the left.

“Another favorite book was ‘We The Living,’” he added.

“The author of that book would be Ayn Rand, who was Libertarian. That’s conservative, and some might say right-wing,” I explained as I listed it on the right.

“Another book was ‘Mein Kampf’ by Hitler,” said a girl.

“I’ll put that on the right,” I said, “but some think Nazis were leftist. I guess they could go on either end.”

“Loughner could have been reading those books to study both sides,” said another boy.

“Good point,” I said. “I have books by both Marx and Rand in my own library. That Loughner had them is evidence that he may have been influenced politically one way or the other. A piece of evidence is a clue. It’s not proof.”

“One of Loughner’s classmates sald he was a left-wing pothead,” said a girl.

“Okay. That’s a first-hand account and it’s evidence,” I said as I listed it on the left.

“Another classmate said he had serious mental problems and she was afraid of him,” said the girl.

“That’s not left-wing or right-wing,” I said. “There are nutcases on both sides of the political spectrum, so let’s add another column in the middle called “Nutcase.” I did, and listed that description.

“Has anyone found more evidence that Loughner was influenced by left-wing or right-wing politics?” I asked.

There were no hands.

“Okay. How about evidence that he was a nutcase?”

Lots of hands went up.

“His math professor said he was dangerous,” said a boy.

“His parents said he was mentally ill,” said a girl.

“His neighbor said he was disturbed,” said another girl.

The middle column got longer and longer. “Looks like there’s far more evidence that Loughner acted because he was mentally disturbed than because he was motivated politically,” I said. “It appears Sheriff Dupnik was shooting from the hip with his opinions when he should have been looking for evidence.”