Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?

Let me ask you this: what makes a good wedding?


As a bride-to-be ( in 12 weeks and counting! ) its a question i've been pondering for a while now. However, after watching this seasons first episode of the trash-tastic " Four Weddings " i started thinking - yes, its my wedding, but how much should i consider the enjoyment of others on my big day?

Mick and I are going for a laidback, casual kind of vibe with our wedding. We're having an outdoor ceremony ( on a cute little deck beside a small lake - complete with fountain! ) and our reception is being held in the private function lounge at the most " boutique " pub bar in town. We're having a cocktail reception - which means no set tables or 3 course meal, just the chance to move around, engage with everyone, and have fancy finger foods brought out for a tapas-style dinner. We're having a jukebox and a pool table, and we'd really love for it to feel like a big party with everyone in pretty clothes, as opposed to the stuffy, formal affairs that some weddings can be. I've had help from a wedding planner with decorations but have organised everything else myself.

I guess what i'm getting at is - of course the bride needs to love the big day, but how much should everyone else love it? I know no-one will be keeping score like the girls on " Four Weddings " but i'd really love for my guests to come away from my wedding saying that they really enjoyed the whole event, that its one of the best they've been to. ( You know, without sounding either too desperate or competitive... ).

What made your wedding special? Aside from the dream dress and the hair and the make-up, what was one thing that "made " the day for you? Or, as a guest, what makes for a memorable wedding experience?

Rah - Here Comes Bridezilla!

Watching other people get married - whether they were people i knew or just various reality tv brides - i never really understood how a woman could turn from a normal, sweet girl into a " Bridezilla ". I couldnt wrap my head around what could possibly be important enough to bring out that inner monster, and make women turn so visciously against their loved ones, who seemed most frequently to be:
a) their hapless fiance
b) their meddling mother or
c) one of their bumbling bridesmaids.

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I was adamant i wasnt going to be that woman, the one who went from blushing bride-to-be to Superbitch Bridezilla.... and thankfully, so far, i havent been. I've been stressed about finding the perfect jewellery ( which i ended up getting at Macys online.. thankgod for international shipping! ), the perfect shoes ( which i'm hoping to get in when i'm in Sydney in two weeks time ) and the perfect flowers ( which are now coming from Artificial Wedding Bouquets ) but i havent cracked it with anyone yet. Except a few days ago when i kind of cracked it at my Mum for calling me at 8:30am on a workday. And i would have cracked it at her for that even if i wasnt getting married...

So back to the Bridezillas - its only 3 and half months til my wedding, but i am crossing my fingers that i dont cross over into " Bridezilla " territory before then. I can pretty much guarantee that i'll have at least one big, emotional meltdown before then ( probably over some tiny little detail which will seem insignificant by my first wedding anniversary ) but i am going on record as saying " I will NOT become a Bridezilla! ". Even if something goes wrong with my dress/flowers/shoes/cake/reception.. i will find away around it without turning all crazy deranged dragon lady.

I will NOT become a Bridezilla, i will NOT become a Bridezilla, i will NOT become a Bridezilla...

Itchy

You know that feeling of wanting something, and wanting it now, now, NOW? That unscratchable itch? Yea, well i've got the itch, and i've got it bad. Its like my brain is stuck in fast-forward, and the more i dwell on thoughts of the future, the "itchier" i get. I'm wanting three things:

1) I want to get married
2) I want to build a house and
3) I want to have another baby.
And i want all these things to happen tomorrow, or at least thats how i've been feeling the last few weeks or so.

He's definately got an itch....

Its crazy really - each of those things are very realistically on the cards, its just that i cant shake these feelings of wanting to have it all happen tomorrow, next week, next month... not next year, or the year after that. I mean, our wedding is now only just over 4 months away ( which, in reality, is crazy/scary soon ... ) yet night after night i run through the plans in my head and secretly wish that everything was already organised and we could just say the " I do "s this weekend. After the wedding, Mick and I are planning on having another baby - and by planning i mean i've sat down and figured out how to manipulate the Pill so i have my last period right before the wedding and we can start baby-making on the honeymoon. And when we have another child, a two bedroom duplex is just not going to be enough room, so the want for another house will be more like a need. And, rather than buy an established home ( which is still a great fallback plan ) what we'd like to do is buy a block of land in a village just outside of the town we live in and build. I'm not talking anything fancy - no giant McMansion for us - just a 3 or 4 bedroom home, with built-ins and a nice big kitchen. We've even looked at the option of having a kit home/transportable home built by a local company and have found that it makes things pretty affordable for us, providing we sell the duplex before borrowing money for the build. Realistically, all this selling and borrowing and building cant happen til at least the end of this year, and all the timing becomes a bit trickier if you throw a pregnancy into the mix.

I guess what i'm saying is - who wants to give me $250 000? No, no, thats not it ( athough, if you have deep pockets... ). What i really mean is even though i have this crazy urge to have it all, and have it NOW, i also know that the more i focus on the future, the less i'm concentrating on the now. I'm living with my head in the proverbial clouds, which means i'm missing so much of whats happening down here in the real world. The real, tangible, its-happening-right-now... well... now. So - its not just me is it? Tell me i'm not the only one who is itching to get things done, and to do it all without resorting to massive credit card debt or an astronomical mortage?

30 Days of Music - Days 27 + 28

Well, well.... we're getting towards the end of the ( extraordinarily stretched out ) 30 Days of Music challenge. Only four days or, in my case, two posts to go!
Day 27 - What song would you like played at your wedding/union?
So unless you are really new around these parts, you would be aware that i am getting married very soon ( 5 months tomorrow in fact! ) so i'm currently in the process of choosing the songs for the wedding: one to walk down the aisle to, one to play when the ceremony is over, and one for the first dance. In lieu of giving away the songs that i may or not have settled on and may or may not want to keep secret, here's a song that i'm considering but i dont think will end up making the cut:

The song is called " Just Because " by Nikka Costa - she's an Australian born jazz/neo soul/funk kind of singer and this is one of my all-time favourite romantic songs ( try to listen to the lyrics and ignore the Gary Oldman tribute. Apparently the song doesnt have a dedicated film clip... ). I'd love to walk down the aisle to it, or have it for a our first dance, but i think its important that those songs resonate with both myself AND Mick, and not just me. Seeing as he doesnt really know this song, and has only ever heard the one time i made him listen to it, i dont think " Just Because " is the right fit for both of us so its gonna have to miss out. Otherwise it would be a beautiful wedding song!

Day 28 - What song would you like played at your funeral?
There are two songs which i'd like played at my funeral ( and yes, even at a tender 27 years of age i've thought about it ) but of those two i think this one is more " me ":

" It Wont Rain All The Time " by Jane Siberry, from the soundtrack to " The Crow " ( which may just be my favourite movie of all time ). If there is anything such as a "perfect " funeral song, this is it for me. Poignant, yet uplifting. Hopefully, though, it wont need to be used in tha capacity for many, many years to come...

Polly Dolly - Royal Wedding Bells

Ok, so its time again for the Polly Dolly challenge, brought to you by the lovely Dani at Danimezza. A few weeks ago our Pollys got married, and we created a beautiful set for our beautiful Polly brides. This time our Polly is a....

I thought yellow was an appropriate colour for what should be a nice, spring wedding - but i also think yellow is quite a "casual " colour, so i've tied in the dark purple shoes and fascinator to keep everything appropriately formal for a royal wedding. I've kept the jewellery quite simple so as to not overshadowed either the dress or the fascinator, so i've gone with simple shapes in silver and amethyst. Soft make up and a classic French manicure keep everything polished. So i've got my wedding outfit - please invite me Will and Kate!

Polly Dolly - Wedding Belle

Time for this weeks Polly Dolly challenge - the brilliant fashion meme brought to you by the lovely Dani over at Danimezza. When i saw this weeks challenge i got just a little excited, because this week Dani wants to know what we'd wear to our....

Polly Dolly - Wedding Belle by Amy1984 featuring t strap shoes

So - i'm getting married in 6 and half months so i was a little bit enthusiastic to get in there and create this set. Seeing as i've already bought my beautiful wedding dress and the only one i could find that was similar wouldnt clip to Polyvore, i decided to do an alternate to what i'm actually wearing. That is, i've decided to style a set with a short, cocktail length dress ( instead of a full length gown ). ( Also, we are actually having a cocktail style reception, but i've gone traditional full length gown instead ). Anyhoo, it took me ages to settle on this Alexander McQueen dress, which mirrors my "real " choice in that it is also Grecian-inspired. The braided updo compliments the style of the dress and the natural toned makeup is flattering to the overall look. I've also stuck with the royal blue/yellow-gold theme we are using in November, hence the gorgeous t-bar shoes, sapphire jewellery and my dream bouquet. Throw in the perfume i will wear on the day and the song i hope to walk down the aisle to ( " Bless The Broken Road " by Rascal Flatts ) and there you go - my kind-of, sort-of almost-close-to-the-truth wedding set!

I Couldnt Have Said It Better

Those of you who are regular readers around these parts would know that I am getting married in November ( which is only 7 months away - yes, don’t remind me... ). Now I have never been the kind of little girl who dreamed about a huge princess-y wedding, and neither was I the type to know exactly what dress/theme/flowers/cake I wanted by the time I was 10 years old. Thusly, I have been a little slow off the mark in getting things organised for the big day. The dress is taken care of, both venues and a photographer have been booked, I’ve enlisted the help of a wedding planner to do the decorations ( and she's also sourcing my flowers from the Sydney markets ) and the cake is generously being taken of by Micks aunty. There are plenty of small details to be taken care of but the one big thing I’ve yet to organize is the ceremony.

Despite both being christened, neither of us is religious, so we’ve decided to have our ceremony held in a local park and conducted by a marriage celebrant ( who happens to be my old yoga instructor. ) Because I haven’t been bothered haven’t had time to find my birth certificate yet ( which is somewhere in my filing cabinet, somewhere in the garage ) so we haven’t had an official meeting with the celebrant yet, but I have been pouring over the information she gave me in regards to what style of ceremony she can do, and I have been trawling the internet trying to find some beautiful readings. I haven’t been able to find anything that really resonated with me, and that hadn’t been read to death at other people’s weddings…. Til now.

This morning i was browsing my Google reader list and noticed that the lovely Maxabella  from Maxabella Loves had made a new post, so i clicked on over. What i found was a post in regards to what marriage means. It.Was.Beautiful. I have no other words except to say that what Bella has written rings so true for me, is everything that i would like to say about what i hope for my marriage, and it would make the perfect reading for my wedding ceremony. I have commented on her post and asked if i could get her permission to use her words at my wedding, but i might try and get a hold of her on Twitter to ask the same. I've just re-read over her words again now, whilst writing this post, and they are making me choke up ( Gawd knows how i;d be at the actual wedding ). Please, do yourself a favour, head over to Bella's page and read what she has written - and then pop back here and let me know what you think, and whether you have any recommendations for a second reading....

Wasted Weekend

I have a confession to make, ahead of next weeks Operation Slimdown update - i had a BAD weekend. As in everything was bad... i got upset, i lazed around the house like a sad sack, i didnt eat much but what i did eat was junk, and rather than water i crammed myself full of Pepsi Max. The only vegetables i ate on Sunday were mushrooms ( on a pizza ) and potato ( wedges, with a steak sandwich ). By Sunday evening i was a bit disgusted in myself - although my mood had cheered up somewhat, thanks to a series of very farty-sounding raspberries blown on my arm by Flynn ( farty sounds are funny! ). I'm not trying to make excuses by pre-empting my expected low weight loss for the fortnight with this post - i think i'm just trying to let myself know its ok to slip up. Especially when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and sob.

What was wrong with me, your wondering? In retrospect, i probably could have manned-up a bit and not gotten so terribly upset but..... my mum let slip to my sister that she will be bridesmaid at my wedding. Why is that so bad? Because I HADNT ASKED HER YET. I soooo wanted the whole asking thing to be a special moment between my sister and i - i had planned to invite her around for dinner and ask, and let her have her " wow - really? " moment.... but now i cant, because my mother quite oftens suffers from Mouth Before Brain Syndrome. That is, she doesnt think before she speaks. So, without thinking, my mother blurts out to my sister " Oh, Amy made the hair appointment for us the morning of the wedding ", which got a death stare from me and a " Why would i be getting my hair done with her ? " from my sister. Now, my sister may be blonde but she's not entirely stupid, so she knows that the only people who get their hair done with the bride are the brides mother.... and the bridesmaids. Light bulb comes on for my sister, my mothers brain engages at the same moment and she realises what she's done, and my death stare turns to evil eye with angry pout. Not.Happy. Mum.

Suffice to say i eventually burst into tears and had to be comforted by my dad, who assured me that although my mother has frequent brain farts like that, she never actually means to ruin or offend. So not the point though - my special moment is gone, my sisters is gone, and now i cant unask her, can i? ( Not that i wanted to, but there may be complications with the best man which would have made it easier to have no attendants at all. Too late now... ). So i spent the entirety of the rest of the weekend in a funk, alternately pouting and weeping, and paying no attention to what i was putting in my mouth. Boo hoo me....

Check Out The Smoochiness!

Oh yea, thats right - i got one thing off my to do list!

I found this great little template on the Microsoft website, downloaded, added the sweet smoochy picture, changed the background and voila! - Save The Date cards. Sadly, i forgot that they were formatted to be a 5x7 size and got them printed as 6x4's ( which meant that the text at the bottom got a teeny, tiny bit skimmed off the edge... ). But, seeing as they arent actual invitations, i'm not going to worry about re-doing them and have stashed them in with the Xmas cards to be mailed tomorrow. I figure putting them in one envelope saves on paper, and on postage. Oh yea, i'm a tight arse eco-warrior!

So thats one thing ticked off. I'm halfway through Flynn's Santa sack - which i'm hand sewing because i dont have a sewing machine - and only have one Xmas present to go. Way to work Amy! Ooh, and i found a make up artist for my wedding who'll do my makeup for free . Again with the tight arse-ery. Turns out its kind of awesome when one of Mick's workmates wives is a beauty therapy teacher at TAFE and is also an awesome lady who offered to come round and do my makeup, as a favour from a friend. Your awesome Ange! And that is all...now, if i could only manage to get all the washing on the room of our floor, washed, folded and put away...

Do We Really Need To Go THAT Overboard?

I think i have may have mentioned before but.... i'm getting married next year. November 5th, 2011 to be exact. So even though my wedding is still quite a ways away i'm already bookmarking wedding blogs, and searching Google images for pretty wedding hair and bitching about the other brides on " Four Weddings".  And yesterday i came across this article about a women who's wedding budget blew out so much that her wedding debt has now outlasted her marriage ( a shame on both accounts ). Which, though i have pondered it before, got me thinking - why the hell is there any need to spend sooooooooo much on a wedding which is, in reality, only one day of your life?

We've all heard of the crazy bridezillas who spend fifty, sixty, seventy thousand dollars on their "dream wedding ". Celebrities i can understand, but how on earth any normal person can justifty spending the equivalent of a house deposit on one day - hell, its only a few hours of the day! - is just beyond me. I'm sure there will be women out there saying " But i loved my day! And it was MY day, what i WANTED, so why shouldnt i spend that much ? " To that i say - fair point. Its your day, spend what you want it on it. But to me, i just cant see how a $5000 dress makes you any happier than a $500 dress, or how Swarovski crystal table centrepieces brings you any more real, lasting joy than a beautiful bunch of flowers. Sure the pretty things and the extra fine dining might give you momentary thrills, but a few months down the track, when your struggling to pay all your bills, is that really going to be worth it ? I wouldnt think so.

Mick and I have a budget of $10 000 ( very kindl, traditionally and generously supplied by my parents. Otherwise, we wouldnt be having a wedding because we gots very little money of our own ). We're hoping to squeeze at least part of the honeymoon cost in under that $10 000 and i cant see why we cant make that happen. We're simple people with simple tastes - though " simple " does not ( as some people seem to think ) equate to " tacky ". No - i like fine, pretty things as much as the next woman, i just refuse to spend exorbitant amounts of money for those fine pretty things. I've already bought my dress and i paid $400 for it, marked down from $1200. To me thats nothing to be ashamed of - its a beautiful dress, it looks gorgeous on me, and its savvy shopping! I'm not the kind of girl thats dreamed of her " big day " since she was 5, but my dress is a beautiful Grecian style and thats what i was looking for. It may have been on sale, it may have been " cheap " but i fail to see how spending a few thousand dollars more on a similar dress would make me any happier....

What i'm trying to get at is I personally am not going to feel the need to spend a small fortune on one day of my life. The wedding is, after all, only one day and what is going to matter to me more is the marriage ....all those days after the white dress and the flowers and the cake. I'm going to be grossly, vomit-worthy happy to be in my $500 dress, in a local park beside a pretty (albeit man made ) lake, exchanging vows and jewellry with the man i love. And i'm going to enjoy my reception afterward at a local " boutique beer " establishment, upstairs in its function room with its fairy lighted ceiling, eating gourmet " pub grub " and more than likely dancing to an IPod playlist. As long as the man i love, and the little man i love, and the rest of my people are there enjoying it with me, the dollars spent ( or not spend, in my case ) wont matter a dot....
What about you? If your married, did you have a budget do or a an extravaganza? If your not married - what do you think ?

What A Couple Of Days!

Holy guacamole - the last few days have been " different " to say the least. You may have noticed that i missed Friday Flip Offs but there is reason for that. Let me backtrack:

*Thursday - woke up feeling a little yucky, which i blame on Flynn. Last week i had a stomach bug for three days, i had Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday feeling back to normal, but by Thursday i'd contracted Flynns chest infection because he's been sick enough to have him in bed with us. Well, partly because he's sick, partly because we're still midway through Project SleepyTime. Anyhoo, the doctor we saw on Monday said Flynn had a chest infection that had developed in conjunction with the viral infection he had the week before, and the poor little bloke has suspected asthma ( i say suspected because kids under 12 months can't officially be diagnosed with asthma - apparently you need a history of wheezing before they'll call it " asthma " ). So Thursday morning i think i've probably picked up his infection - by Thursday afternoon i'm sure. A fever of 38.2 degrees, hacking cough and every bone and muscle in my body aching. I feel like total crap. My mum and dad take Flynn grocery shopping with them so i can have a nap.

* Friday - Mick takes a sick day off work so he can look after Flynn because i am totally out of it. Still feverish and with a total body ache. Cold and flu tablets take the edge off a little but i still spend the majority of the morning moaning on the lounge. Mick takes Flynn off to visit his Nanny so they can get out of the house and i can have a proper rest. I pop me some prescription pain killers ( thanks Dad! ) and have a nap - which does wonders. I was still wheezy and felt like my head was going to explode but the aches and pains were gone. I could move freely again! The other big and waaaaaaaaaaaay more important development of the day? Flynn said his first word!! I was ( irrationally ) starting to worry that it was never going to happen, that there was some developmental delay, and then Friday morning we got a " da da da " which had become a fully fledged " dad dad dad " by the end of the day. Guess who'll be getting up in the middle of the night from now on ? Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad.....

* Today ( Saturday ) - A rare weekend sleep in. Why ? Because Flynn had his first sleepover at Grandma and Poppy's. My mum and dad volunteered to have him for the night because i was still a little unwell and Mick had been up most of the previous night and they thought we could use a full nights sleep. Best.Grandparents.Ever. Flynn smiled his little guts out when we go to pick him up which was an awesome feeling. My dad says he wasnt too bad overnight but they he did get to watch a whole soccer match very early in the morning. We take Flynn home, i get to making some rocky road fudge for the two Pop's fathers day presents and then i go back and get my mum so that we can go to a bridal gown sale. A boutique from Sydney has come five hours to my town with discontinued gowns and last-of sizes. I originally only went for a look, to scope out what kind of cuts are available and what would suit me but guess what? I tried a few on ( to appease the sales woman ) and i absolutely fell in love with two of them. I knew that i didnt want a strapless gown ( bloody everyone has strapless gowns ) and i didnt want anything too frou-frou princessy either. I was really dreaming about something either very vintagey or Grecian inspired so when i spied one of each i had to try them. I called my sister and got her to come down for another opinion and after about 2 hrs of trying-on and careful deliberation i went with the Grecian dress. Very simple in cut but it has some sparkle to bling it up. My wedding is not until November 5th next year, so i have 14 months to maintain this weight ( or ideally lose 5 kgs, which wont effect the fit too much ). I cant believe i bought a wedding dress!

And so, tomorrow is Fathers Day. We are having breakfast at my brothers and i'm cooking dinner and dessert for Mick. Lets see what crazy things might happen in between!

Trust me on the Sunscreen

So yes, i have been quite the past week but you'll just have to forgive me because i have been away on a little holiday. To the coast. With beaches and stuff. Jealous much ?

Ok, dont all hate on me at once. In truth it was just a very simple getaway for a few days. My uncle was getting married ( for the THIRD time... ) on a Sunday, and seeing as how i would have had to have taken the Monday off work i decided to take a whole week off. It's the first full weeks holiday i have had in over a year, so i figure i deserve it - even if two of the days would be taken up with driving to my destination. Yes, we drive places around here -thats one thing i never could get over when i lived in the US. People never to seem to drive far there ( like we went for a weekend away, to a place only an hour and halfs drive, and the boys needed a a DVD player in the back ).

But i digress. So my convoy and I ( that would be my parents in car#1, my sister and I in car#2 and my brother and his family in car#3 ) got up at 5am to be ready to leave for Wollongong at 6am. That sounds kind of early but when you have a 7hr trip in front of you, you might wanna leave a little early. We had to stop a few more times than would be usual because we had a 3 yr old and a 7 week old with us, but overall the drive down wasnt too bad. The wedding on Sunday afternoon was quite nice too but my apologies - i forgot to take my camera so until my rello's come through with some photos, i have no pics of me in my dress, my cute flowergirl neice or the idyllic beach location.

Monday we hit up the waterpark i mentioned in my previous post. I hadnt been to theme park or waterpark for a few years, so i have to admit i was kind of excited. It turned out to be good fun - except the sunburn part. Let me just explain something to you - apparently teh sun also hits the lower half of your body so you should probably apply sunscreen to your legs aswell. I was so diligent with my shoulders, back and arms - the places i usually cop the dreaded red burn - but i completely ignored my legs and feet, which resulted in a lobster red calves and feet that looked like they had been painted up some kind of chilli bbq sauce. I'm one of these girls who wear long, surfing style board shorts ( especially when their is the chance of getting a huge wedgy down a speed slide ), so i know have a distinct difference in colour between the top and bottom halves of my legs. ( Again, my apologies, no pictures for your amusement ). Oh well, live and learn i guess.

Aside from general exploring of the area, the only other activity we got up to was shopping and snoozing, two of my favourite things to do. Its nice to go hit the shops when you come from a smaller town - the bigger places have outlets that we dont and besides, i could shop anywhere, anytime if given the chance. Same applies to the napping really.

And thats about it. I suppose in a future post i could do a rundown of the great stuff i bought ( two pairs of shoes, silver and garnet ring to add to my collection, cute new handbag, a few long 'grandpa' cardigans for winter.... ) but without pictures, who would care ? Til then though, i have two more days off before i'm back to work. Poo to that.

P.S For those of you who find the title of this post familiar, click here. Or here.

Songs for all occasions: Part # 2

So, now to part 2 of my " Songs For All Occasions " series: wedding songs. I know that pondering funeral songs may be morbid, and that some of you may see thinking about songs that you would play at your ( as of yet non-existent ) wedding as slightly desperate..... but dont try and tell me you've never once thought of it, even in jest. You know you have!
And now, here for your viewing and listening pleasure, are five songs that i would consider having played at my nuptials:

1. " Seeing Angels " - John Butler Trio
2. " Just Because " - Nikka Costa
3. " Desire " - Ryan Adams
4. " With Or Without You " - U2
5. " Just Say Yes " - Ben Lee

Admittedly, there are more songs that, when i hear them, i think " Aww, wouldnt that make a beautiful wedding song ? " But these are the five that i would go for right now. Numbers 1 and 2 are in that order for a reason - heart melting lyrics. Observe:

From " Seeing Angels " by the John Butler Trio we have :

Take me for what you see

For I'm transparent in the light of you.

And look inside,

See that fire burning bright

The same one you rekindled inside me

My mouth was dry

Only you quenched my thirst

Or From " Just Because " by Nikka Costa :

I take you in and

I hold my breath

Try to save the time that's passing by

And if you came to say goodbye

A thousand summers would never dry

Every tear that touched my face

And they don't laugh the way you do

And they don't smile the way you do

And their eyes don't shine the way yours do

I love

I love

I love you just because

See now - hasn't your heart just melted into a giant puddle on the floor?