The Mexican Border in Arizona - Part II

Arizona is divided. Illegal immigration is the hottest issue on people’s minds in that state, but discussion seems to vary depending on who is there. In the southwest I’m an “Anglo,” as opposed to a “Latino.” Though I was in Arizona only a few days, I got the sense that it’s discussed openly when Anglos are present, but if there’s mixed company with Latinos present, the topic doesn’t come up. Arizona is about 30% Latino and the percentage is higher the closer you get to the border where I was.On the plane from La Guardia to Tuscon I was seated with two women flying home. One was an Anglo about my age and the other a young woman of Mexican descent. They were friendly and chatty at first, and eventually asked me why I was going to Tucson. I explained that I wanted to see, smell, feel and hear the desert southwest because I’d never been there before, and that I wanted go down around the border area and see how much of what I’d been hearing about circumstances there was true. Both tensed up. We discussed illegal immigration, but only in guarded terms.

In last week’s column, I wrote about what I saw in the Nogales area and my dealings with the US Border Patrol. Agents in the field talked openly until I told them I was a writer. Then they referred me to up to their office in Tucson, but nobody there would sit down with me and discuss things on record. Spokesman Mario Escalante said he’d answer questions on the phone or via email, but not face-to-face over a recording device. I wasted half a day between phone calls while they brushed me off as a small-time columnist.The next day, I drove to Douglas, Arizona about sixty miles east of Nogales. There I saw a new border fence under construction, but the construction bosses I spoke to on site told me they were pulling out after building only a mile for $5 million. What they’d built was a formidable double fence with a ditch in between, but as one supervisor said, “They’ll just go a mile further east and jump there as we saw two of them do this morning right over there.” He pointed to the end of the new fence he built to an older section just like the one in Nogales.At nearly sixty, I believe I could climb over it easily. I looked east to see a straight line of such fencing clear to a distant horizon.It was the same when I turned around to look west.There are two thousand miles of border between the US and Mexico, and a mile of new fence here and there are so many drops in the bucket. When President Bush got $800 million from Congress to build 800 miles of “virtual” border fence, it ended up costing $15 million per mile rather than the $1 million per mile projected.

Meanwhile, the smuggling of illegal aliens and drugs from Mexico continues. Open battles in Mexico between the Mexican military and well-armed drug lord armies are so bad that Mexican citizens aren’t sure who will win. Some foreign policy experts are concerned that Mexico may become a failed state if it isn’t already. That lawlessness has spread into the border states like Arizona to such an extent that the Bureau of Land Management is warning US tourists in five national parks near the border of dangers posed by armed drug smugglers. Arizona Governor Jan Brewer said the other day that the majority of illegals coming into Arizona are smuggling drugs. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano said this week: “You’re never going to totally seal that border.” She seems to be making the case here that it’s impossible to prevent millions of people from invading our country, so why try.

Napolitano is following the Obama Administration policy on illegal immigration, which he articulated in a private meeting with Arizona Senator Jon Kyl a few weeks ago. Kyl told contituents in Phoenix that Obama said: “The problem is, . . . if we secure the border, then you all won’t have any reason to support ‘comprehensive immigration reform.’”“In other words,” said Kyl, “they’re holding it hostage. They don’t want to secure the border unless and until it is combined with ‘comprehensive immigration reform.’”

Comprehensive Immigration Reform is nothing but a euphemism for amnesty. President Obama and the Democrats would solve our illegal immigrant problem with a stroke of the pen: They would grant amnesty to the 20 million or so illegals already residing here because they would become 20 million new Democrat voters.Hat tip: One-simple-idea.com

Democrats don’t want to secure the border and shut off the constant flow of a million new Democrats every year.Many Republicans are reluctant to address illegal immigration because they represent businesses which profit from cheap Mexican labor.

The majority of Americans, meanwhile, are doing a slow burn over the issue and expressing themselves through their state governments. Arizona’s new law allowing police to arrest anybody in the US illegally is just the beginning. Expect other states to follow as our federal government abdicates its responsibility to stop the invasion of America from the south.

50 Films I've Seen. And Loved. And Would Totally Watch Again.

Yep - i think the title says it all. Todays posts is a very special Blog This! challenge - the brief this week reads:
50 Things...Take your pick, this one is open. 50 things I want you to know about me; 50 things I would do if I won lotto; 50 things I want to cook; 50 things I have photographed; 50 things I want for my birthday; 50 things I would like to tell my ex....
It's up to you, whatever you want to tell your readers.
So, in case the blog title wasnt quite literal enough for you, my " 50 things " is a list of 50 films i've seen and really loved and would watch again. Some of them are childhood favourites which i've already watched over and over; some are films i've watched and kind of liked, so i've bought them on dvd so i can re-watch them on rainy weekend afternoons; and some i've only seen once but would watch again given the chance. Here goes ( in no particular order ):

1. " The Never-ending Story " - loved Atreyu, i cry when Artex dies in the Swamps of Sadness and, as a child, i was totally scared of The Nothing. An 80's childhood classic.
2. "Annie " - Tomorrow! Tomorrow! yep, as a girl i sooooo wanted to be a redheaded, singing, dancing orphan...
3. " The Princess Bride " - Inigo Montoya rocks, and Buttercup and Wesley would probably make my Top 5 film couples list ( if i had one ). Ah, true love.
4. " Empire Records " - one of Liv Tyler and Rene Zellwegers early screen outings. Its set in a record store - coolest place to work EVER.
5. " Young Guns " - even though i was only around, maybe, 10 years at the time, i loved me a piece of Lou Diamond Phillips. Pity age caught up with him...
6. " Forrest Gump " - even though critics out there alwasy deride this as " schmaltzy ", i love it. It has all the best quotes, the coolest soundtrack and one of the most loveable characters of all time.
7. " The Little Mermaid " - one of my favourite childhood animations. Even now i still sing snatches of the songs to Flynn - and if i had a pet crab, i'd name it Sebastian.
8.  " Chocolat " - Johnny Depp. Juliet Binoche. France. Chocolate. And its based on one of my favourite books. Wait, did i say Johnny Depp?
9. " School of Rock " - its funny and sweet and crazy. Plus it stars an awesome rock'n'roll soundtrack and Jack Blacks awesome eyebrows. I aspire to those eyebrows and their crazy tricks, i really do.
10. " Dogma " - Kevin Smiths best. And Alanis Morrisette as a rockin' female God? If i were a believer, thats what i'd want...
11. " Almost Famous " - i went through a period of imagining myself as a young Rollingstone journalist. This movie was like my ultimate fantasy. It would be worth it for the whole " Tiny Dancer " sequence alone.
12. " Gladiator " - i saw this twice in cinemas, own it on video ( oh yea, on VIDEO ) and have watched it numerous times. The soundtrack is also rather stirring, especially the music played over Rusty's *SPOILER * dying scenes.
13. " The Crow " -  i do not have the time nor space to fully describe why i love this one. Its my all-time favourite movie and so far i've only discovered two other girls that have ever seen it ( shout out to you, Brea ).
14. " Pleasantville "- its the costuming and the gorgeous " black and white to colour " cinematography that gets me with this one. Also - Paul Walker is pretty.
15. " Dazed and Confused " - Slaters whole marijuana-fueled spiel on George Washington makes me laugh. So does Mathew McConaugheys moustache. Just keep l-i-v-i-n!
16. " Pans Labrynith " - quirky, and foreign, and spectacularly beautiful, both in imagery and in theme. Guillermo Del Toro is a genius.
17. " The Muppets Movie " -  The Muppets ? In a movie ? Who wouldnt love that?
18. " Transformers " - ok, yea the critics say it sucks. And yea, the plot ( or what there is of one ) has some might big holes. But its stuff blowing up, and Transformer robots, and awesome CGI - thats stuff is cool!
19. " Amelie " -  i've already written a whole post on this one. I heart this film. That is all.
20. " Reign Over Me " -  if you havent seen this one, go out and find it. I rate this as Adam Sandlers finest dramatic performance. Its totally heartbreaking though, so grab yourself some tissues.
21. " American Pie " - the quintessential high school comedy of my generation. Its kind of rude, yet has its tender moments. Sort of. Either way, that pie scene was hilarious!
22. " The Breakfast Club " -  and onto a quintessential high school film of the generation before me. It may have come out the year i was born but it just got to me. Judd Nelson was way cool - you know, for a bully.
23. " A Streetcar Named Desire " - A classic for many reasons. One of which is the scene where Marlon Brando is coming home from work in his white t-shirt. That man, in that scene ? Sex on legs my friends, sex on legs.
24. " 13 Going On 30 " - its all bubble-gummy and cutesy. But as far as chick flicks go, i love this. The sweet Jennifer Garner, the divine Mark Ruffalo and the " Thriller " dance. Sweet as.
25. " Shaun of the Dead " - i'm not big on horror films but horror film spoofs? Especially one as clever as this? Count me in! Which reminds me - i need to get myself a cricket bat in case of zombie attack...
26. " Moulin Rouge "  - i love me some Baz Luhrrman. And this movie is so pretty and sparkly and woo! Plus, i wana live in that elephant. You know, just without the whole being a prostitute.
27. " Benny and Joon " - sweet, and funny and romantic. Benny and Sam are so odd, but they're odd together, and thats all they need. Ooh, and did i mention Sam is played by Johnny Depp?
28. " Breakfast at Tiffany's " - Audrey Hepburn at her most glamorous. Love the dress, love the city, love the characters. Ooh, and love Tiffanys!
29. " Reservoir Dogs " - oh Quentin Tarantino, you loveable kook, you. Everyone has a colour-coded name, people get their ears cut off, and the soundtrack is groovy. Classic Tarantino...
30. " Cyrano De Bergerac " -  you know what? Gerard Depardieu in English ? Lame. Gerard Depardieu in French ( playing a classic French hero ) ? Funny. And at turns oddly grumpy and sweet. Also sweet? Vincent Perez. Yum....
31. " V for Vendetta " - awesome graphic novel adaption. Its politically motivated, sure, but stuff blows up and here are great fight sequences and Natalie Portman looks rather fetching with a bald head.
32. " Beauty and the Beast " -  another one of my Disney favourites. I want to sit down and watch this one with my neice - introduce her the beautiful songs and " beauty is on the inside " message.
33. " Love Actually " - i think this is my favourite chick flick. It's funny and smart and has such a wonderful cast. This is one of those films that, whenever its on tv, i'll watch it.
34. " Edward Scissorhands " - the most beautiful of Tim Burton's fractured fairytales. I watch this at least once a year and still come to the brink of tears at the end. Oh, and did i mention Johnny Depp ( even in all that makeup ) ?
35. " Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King " - of course i've seen them all, but this one is the most action-packed, and it asnwers all the questions ( except, whether Sam and Frodo ever got it on ). Also, Aragorn is at his most rugged in this one. Scrumptious.
36. " Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest " - and while we're on films that are part of a trilogy, here's my choice from the POTC series. Johnny and Orlanda at there most gorgeous, that crazy tentacle beard and that snotty Lord Cutler Beckett. Oh, and did i mention Johnny Depp?
37. " Saved! " -  a very clever little film. Proves that Maculay Culkin is funny ( when he isnt all strung out ), Mandy Moore can do more than sing, and that Jesus is the Devil. See what i did there? Trippy.....
38. " Say Anything " - John Cusack has aged so well. Go back to this 80's effort and he's freckly and kind of geeky but still totally cool. And sweet. Doesnt every girl want a boy to serenade her with a boombox outside her window?
39. " Mean Girls " - another clever chick flick ( thankyou Tina Fey ). It is also a reminder of what Lilo used to be .... you know, normal and talented.
40. " Hairspray " - this musical is all frizzy, and fabulous and it makes me happy. I think if i'd been around 13 years old when it came out i may have been in love with Zac Efron.
41. " The Lion King " - doesnt everyone love this film ? And doesnt everyone hate Scar? Yes, and yes. This is one i want to show to Flynn when he's older.
42. " Pride and Prejudice " - the Keira Knightley version. This is one of my favourite books of all time, and i just love this adaptation of it. I know i've said it before, but i totally want to be Elizabeth Bennett...
43. " The Dark Knight " - soooooo worth it for Heath Ledgers performance alone. Plus, Batman is my favourite superhero. Which reminds me, i really need to get my copy of this back from my brother...
44.  " Don Juan Demarco " -  a film that speaks to the romantic in us all. Sure, Marlon Brando is old and fat but he still rocks - and i have mentioned the ever delectable Johnny Depp?
45. " Somethings Gotta Give " - Jack Nicholson at his twinkly, lady-loving best. At least in this one he's loving a lady of appropriate age - the beautiful, funny Diane Keaton.
46. " The Truman Show " - i initially liked this because it was Jim Carrey without the rubbery goofiness. On second and third watches i loved it for what it said about society at the time ( the days BEFORE " Big Brother " ). Good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!
47. " Roman Holiday " - if " Breakfast at Tiffanys " is Audrey at her most glamourous, this is Audrey at her cutest. I love the whole look and feel of this film, and it makes me want to run away on a Roman adventure.
48. " Romeo and Juliet " - Baz and his brilliance again. This is manic and modern and hip and made Shakespear trendy. And that fish tank scene ? Awww....
49. " Rent " -  so many people hate this movie or, at the very least, think its a bad adaptation of the stage musical. Not me, i love it. This is the movie i watch when i need a pick me, despite the dying and disease and stuff. Its the music and the friendship and the love. It makes me happy.
50. " The Usual Suspects " - Keyser Soze? Spin out!

Dear Flynn, Aged 6 Months

Happy half-birthday my beautiful bubba! It so strange to think that this time 6 months ago i was only a few hours done with labouring you, and was no doubt was blissfully watching you sleep.

You're not so good at going to sleep anymore ( i will fill you in on the trials and tribulations of Project Sleepy-time one day when you're older ) but i still love to watch you when you're finally pushing out the zzz's. Your snoring has gotten itself under control - you dont sound so much like an old man - and your little face is so handsome when your asleep. You remind me so much of your daddy in your sleep - that is, your sleeping faces of the same, you both snore and are both prone to bedtime farting. ( Sorry Mick ).

You've discovered so much in the 3 months since i last wrote you a letter :
a) you've learned to sit up on your own ( and all without a Bumbo )
b) you reach for things with both hands and like to swap toys from hand to hand and back again, just to show off your motor skills
c) you finally learned to blow raspberries after weeks and weeks of me blowing them at you. Now, when your in a talkative mood, i can hardly get a word in edge-wise for all the " bbbbbffft! " going on.

You've cut yourself some cute little teeth - they arent all the way up yet but there is enough of them there to give Daddy a little nip with. You had your " digestion issues " but after a bit of doctors advice you're now loving your fruit and custard at tea time, and porridge or yoghurt for breakfast - so much so i think you're growing yourself a nice little bikkie belly! You've made friends with the other gorgeous kiddies at mums group - watching you play and interact with them is so beautiful, even when you accidentally pull hair, or bonk each other in the head with toys, or even when you get grumpy and dont want to sit by yourself anymore. I pretend that i think your being a boom-baa but i secretly like that you need some time out just to snuggle up on Mummy's lap.

You went through a clingy stage for a while there but you've moved past it. You know longer NEED to be touching me, and are more than happy to have a cuddle with another close relative ( at least for a little while ). You are back to loving Poppy S - you actually screamed at the sight of him during your clingy thig - and now, after only a week, you are already excited when its getting near to 4pm.... the time Poppy S comes to take you for a walk.

Your daddy and I are both still besotted with you - even though sometimes you make me cry because i'm so tired, or you pull Daddy's chest hairs. Even though i keep threatening to pack you up and send you to China if you dont learn to sleep, i wouldnt trade you for the world.

Big lots love, snuggles and kisses,

Love Mummy xxoo

How My Liver Rested in the Confusion of Karachi

I arrived at Karachi airport at 05.30am last Friday morning. The place was chaotic and reminiscent of Bedlam. The noise was incredible and un-relenting. The queues to get through customs and collect one luggage were the biggest I have ever seen in a life time of travelling. Thankfully I was rescued and fast tracked through all the processes –this meant it took two hours rather than a life time.

I was allowed to rest at the hotel for four hours before being picked up and accompanied to the main offices of SIUT (Sinda Institute of Urology and Transplantation). I was there as part of a delegation from our Faculty and partners from practice. Together with these colleagues I then spent the next six hours being shown around the SIUT facilities.

It was the Director of SIUT, Professor Adib Rizvi, who welcomed us with warmth and sincerity. He spoke of the unremitting challenges in trying to provide healthcare to a large and predominantly poor population of the country. The aim of SIUT is to provide healthcare in the field of Urology, Nephrology and Transplantation to all, entirely free of cost and with dignity. Pakistan has a high burden of urological diseases.

Basic health care is not widely available in Pakistan. Only 1% of the GDP of Pakistan is allocated to the health sector. Private hospitals can be afforded by no more than 2-4% of the population. As with other developing countries, 20% of the population utilise 80% of Pakistan’s resources. Likewise, Pakistan faces a constant struggle over the injustices of illegal child labour, oppression of women and an increasing disparity between the rich and poor. SIUT was there to help those who are poor. Indeed their mission is ‘we don’t let them die because they cannot afford to live’. Starting out as a 8 bedded unit in a local hospital in the 1980’s it has grown to a become a 500 bedded Institute sited on two sites in Karachi, with satellite clinics in the neighbouring areas.

Our visit started in the old facilities. These were, on first impression, a throw back to the dark ages. Wards and clinical areas with beds in corridors and aisles, little privacy and the activity and noise was constant. But a huge number of patients were being seen each day. In 2009, nearly 700,000 patients were seen, 544 renal transplants undertaken, 144,107 patients received dialysis, and 4246 Lithotripsy interventions performed. Additionally, nearly 200,000 outpatient appointments were provided. There is a new 300 bedded unit now that also provides state of the art oncology services. Everything that is provided is provided free to the patients, including long term follow up medication. SIUT receives some 40% of its running costs from the State, the rest comes from voluntary donations.

It was humbling to watch, for a while, this activity being carried out with commitment, dignity, dedication and real skill. In the UK with all our shiny new health care toys, it can sometimes be difficult to discern such high levels of service being provided to a other. Magdi Yaqoob, the internationally renowned transplant surgeon noted that SIUT provides medical care to patients that is as good as that of any premier institute in the western world.

The SIUT wants to agree a partnership with our University and School of Nursing aimed at bring their pre and post reg nurse education and training up to the standards found in the UK. They have run a School of Nursing since 2006 and this has provided  basic three year general nursing programmes. This year has seen the initiation of a specialist BSc in Renal Nursing.

I am sure we will be able to agree such a partnership, despite the desperate political and other related security issues. Somewhat ironically, I think that such a partnership would actually provide more possibilities to extend the role of the nurse than perhaps some of the opportunities we have in our own context.

And the saving of my Liver. Well, for religious reasons, Pakistan really is a dry state. Alcohol can not be purchased anywhere, not in the hotel or even the magnificent Sind Club, an exclusive ex colonial establishment where we provided with a fabulous meal one night by our hosts. Everyone we met was fantastic. We were never left unaccompanied and people were most generous with their conversation, smiles and friendship. However, being driven through the streets of Karachi along with what were millions, yes millions of other road users was made more difficult knowing their would not be a nice G+T to sooth ones shattered nerves at the other end.

I shall be returning to the UK on Tuesday evening, ready to Chair what I think is going to be an exciting day on Wednesday. This is what I hope will be the first in many joint Humanities/Mental Health Seminar Workshop Days. This first workshop day  is entitled: A Novel Opportunity: Reading, writing, and performing to aid the explication of Mental Health and Well-Being – and we have some cracking examples of peoples work to enjoy and learn from.

Friday Flip Offs - Again

Welcome back to another Friday Flip Off's, my chance to get my virtual rage on ( and without having to yell at my nearest and dearest ). Proudly brough to you by Gigi at KludgyMom.

To the Australia Labor Party - so you've given us a new Prime Minister, and our first female one at that. I'm so not impressed with the way you did it though. You've tainted the honor that Julia Gillard should have in being our first female PM and dont think you've managed to score my vote because you've dumped Kevin Rudd - i wasnt a fan of his by any means, but i would have liked to chance to have democratically voted him out. You know, like we're supposed to. So to your MP's and faceless powerbrokers who took away my right to vote, or not vote, for the person who runs my country ... FLIP OFF!

To the rash that has appeared on my sons back -  and his bum. I'm pretty sure you're only due to teething ( but i'm going to check with the doctor on Monday anyway ) and i dont think you're causing him any pain or trouble... but you look ugly. And itchy. And if you were on MY body you'd probably be driving me mad. So for the sake of my son having his gorgeous olive-y skin back, why dont you just FLIP OFF!

To mummy guilt - you got to me on Monday, well and truely. You made me cry, and then you made me feel bad that i'd cried. Basically, youir not nice and i dont need you in my life anymore. I'm a good mumma and thats all that needs be said. Take your horrible, nagging voice out of my head and FLIP OFF!

To all the bad drivers in my town - why is it that i'm the only person around here who knows how to drive? To the rest of you - stop pulling out in front of me and cutting me off; learn how to correctly use your indicators; know when you do, and dont, have right of way; and for the love of God, stop breaking the speed limit to go around me and then slowing down when you pull in front of me! You're driving me mental and probably contributing to the amount of swearing my son gets to hear everyday. Usually i'd use the other f-word but today you can just FLIP OFF!

Best Invention Ever?

Or medevial torture device?

If your not sure what i'm talking about, you've missed the news this week that a doctor in South Africa has invented an anti-rape condom. Its basically a plastic device, inserted as you would a tampon, that has jagged hooks on the inside which would attach themselves to the attackers penis. The hooks only grip in tighter when the male tries to pull out, and once attached the condom can only be removed by a doctor.

Sounds good in theory - a device which may just in fact deter men ( who would be so inclined ) from raping innocent women. When the legal penalities have not been enough to stop rape from happening, perhaps the knowledge that their manhood will be completely mangled will be enough. But when would a women use it ? Daily? When going on a date with a new and unfamiliar man ? When heading out for a night on the town, just in case? Seems to me that, in practice, the anti-rape condom may be a little impractical.

So, despite fact that i think that any man who tries to rape a woman deserves to have his manhood mangled ( or chopped off even... ) i'm not so sure that this anti-rape condom is going to work. Points for trying, but in reality i'm not sure that this is the ultimate solution to this scourge on society....

Ooh - I Love Designer!

Handbags, shoes, jewellery.... if i could afford beautiful designer things, i'd have some. Designer is nice. What is designer, yet not nice? Designer babies.

Yep - designer babies. I know the debate has been had before but i watched an article on " The Morning Show " this morning that had my blood boiling. It was a story about how the ever-controversial website http://www.beautifulpeople.com/ has started taking "genetic donations " from its members, so that childless couples are able to use eggs and sperm that will result in attractive children. Basically the representative of the website, Greg Hodge, argues that attractiveness is an essential quality in todays societies and any couple using donor genetics, that wants the absolute best for their child, would choose to donations from his members.

Greg Hodge is the pretentious looking cock in black. Wanker.

I have never heard a bigger load of crap from a bigger egomaniac in my life. First off, what kind of shallow wanker starts a website exclusively for beautiful people, christening himself beautiful in the process? Second of all, each and every child in the entire world is beautiful to someone - my son is the epitome of gorgeous to me, but i think my friends baby falls into the " Not cute " category. Her mother, however, thinks she is the most beautiful baby to have ever graced the earth. Parents do not need to select physical characteristics ( down to specific hair and eye colour ) to find their children beautiful.

Also - whats "attractiveness"? Greg Hodge kept emphasising "attractiveness " as incredibly important - but attractive to who? You? Me? Him? There are literally billions of people on this planet - billions of whom i personally would not find in the least bit enticing. But i;m sure someone does. Take Larry King, the American talking head, for example - so NOT my cup of tea. He's old, and wrinkly, and reminds me of a lizard who's seen too much sun. But the man has been married 6 or 7 times ( or somewhere in that vicinity ) so clearly there have been women who have found him attractive enough to be involved with him. Kate Moss - skinny, no breasts, pinched face. In my opinion that is. And thats not the kind of attractive i'd like to be, but fashion execs and men everywhere think she's the bees knees.

What i'm trying to say here is that " designing " your baby, based simple on looks, is not only wrong ( IMO ) but shallow and ridiculous. Also - Greg Hodge of http://www.beautifulpeople.com/ ? Complete and utter cockwad.

Tense At The Arizona Border In Nogales

My wife left a message on my cell phone that the US Border Patrol called our house in Lovell, Maine three times. “I picked up the third time,” she said. “They asked what your date of birth was and I told them. Hope that was all right.” It had been an interesting day on the border at Nogales, Arizona - Nogales, Sonora on the Mexican side.

I had called her earlier to report that I survived my foray into Mexico and was on the highway driving back to Tucson. I told her that I’d been escorted off the US Border Patrol facility in Nogales, AZ and I’d explain later why, but that I was fine and not to worry.

I’d driven down to Nogales from Tucson where I’d been staying because I’d been hearing so much about goings-on there. Arizona and other border states are overrun with illegal aliens from Mexico and I wanted to see for myself. I discovered that the reports are quite true, and, if anything, they’re played down. “This is the busiest border station in the country,” one agent told me. I'd listened to US Senator Jon Kyl interviewed on an AM Talk station as I drove south on Route 19. He'd told constituents in Phoenix the other day about a private meeting with President Obama during which Obama told him: "The problem is, . . . if we secure the border, then you all won’t have any reason to support ‘comprehensive immigration reform.’” [Audible gasps were heard throughout the audience.] Sen. Kyl continued, “In other words, they’re holding it hostage. They don’t want to secure the border unless and until it is combined with 'comprehensive immigration reform.'" That, of course, is a euphemism for amnesty.

After walking over to the Mexican side for a few hours (seeing Obama's and Napolitano's pictures prominently displayed behind US border officials), I walked back and drove along “International Street” on the American side. The road parallels the border fence, and BP vehicles move constantly chasing illegals sneaking in. One BP agent was sitting in his modified Dodge pickup - modifed by wire mesh installed over the vehicle’s windows the way some Range Rovers have screens over their headlights. “You can’t go past here,” he said as I pulled up alongside and lowered my window.

“Why not?” I asked.

He abruptly put up his hand to an earpiece and said, “Gotta go.” He gunned it in reverse to get around me then shot up a steep hill in a cloud of dust.We were within the Nogales city limits, no more than 300 yards west of the border crossover point into Mexico I’d walked back and forth over that morning. I watched as he and two other BP agents scrambled around and talked into their head-mounted communication devices. I locked my rented SUV, strolled around and took pictures, very glad I’d invested in a 18-270 mm lens last year. When two BP vehicles parked next to each other up a steep gravel road, I got into my SUV and drove on up the steep rise where they were talking. I expected them to be angry and to order me away, but instead one uniformed agent, the one who had to scramble away so quickly, told me it was dangerous for me to be up there. “If you get hit in the head with a rock, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Is that why you have that wire mesh over your windshield?” I asked.“Exactly,” he said.

“Do you guys need help keeping a lid on things here?” I asked.

“This is the busiest section of border in the country,” he said. “We arrested 57,000 illegals last year and that was down from 100,000 in 2007.”

“Right here in Nogales?”

“Yup. Right here in Nogales.”

“Probably have no idea how many got by you, right?”

He shrugged. "Somebody can cut a hole in that fence in about forty seconds."

"I saw where somebody had cut a doorway in it right over there," I said, pointing, "and somebody else welded it back up."

"Um-hmm."

“It looks like the federal government wants to seem like it’s controlling the border without really controlling it,” I said. “Would you agree with that?”

He hesitated. My sense was that he did agree, but didn’t want to say. I’d revealed that I was a columnist from Maine and he was from Maine as well. “I suggest you talk to the Public Information Office about that. I don’t want to comment.” He referred me to Jorge Uques and wrote down his phone number. “We’re so busy here in Nogales, we’ve got our own Public Information Officer.”

“Where is he at?”

“1500 West La Quinta in Nogales. About three miles from here.”

I thanked him, plugged that into my GPS, and drove off.Looking through border fence from Nogales, AZ yesterday

1500 La Quinta looked like a military base. There must have been hundreds of green-and-white Border Patrol vehicles as well as horses and ATVs. I waited at the guard shack by the entrance but nobody came out, so I drove on in, parked in the designated visitors’ parking lot and walked inside. I stated my business to a receptionist who called Mr. Ugues on the phone.

“He’s not in. His grandmother died and he’s away. Someone else will come down.”

Agent Richard Funke, pronounced “funky,” came down the stairs and we shook hands. We exchanged business cards and I asked if he minded me recording our conversation. Wrong move. “Actually, you’ll have to talk to our Public Affairs Officer in Tucson,” he said. “He handles media relations.” We shook hands again and I walked out. I saw agents training with what looked like blue M-16s on a hillside and took pictures.Prominently posted in Nogales, AZ Historical Society building

Then a vehicle drove up and another agent told me “This is a federal facility and you shouldn’t be walking around without an escort. How did you get in here?” I explained, but that didn’t satisfy him. “What did you take pictures of?” He took my camera and erased the ones I took at 1500 West La Quinta, and gave it back. Then he called two other agents to escort me off the property.

Don’t know why they wanted my date of birth. Must be investigating me. I’ll be talking to the Public Information Officer in Tucson today.

More later.

Uh, How Do I Put This?

The first day of Project Sleepy-time ? Big. Fat. Fail.

I thought we were going to be ok, at first. He showed tired signs at around 8:20 am. I wrapped him up, gave me a quick snuggle and put him into his bed, as described in my last post. It took 45 minutes of crying ( and 2 minutes of me stroking his cheek, which i dont think was allowed ) to get him to sleep. 45 minutes i spent lying bag in a bean bag, with my eyes shut, pretending to be asleep. Not too bad for our first effort. I could put up with that.

Flynn woke after an hour and he was all smiley and cheery and generally adorable. I was going to try putting him to bed again around noon but my sister-in-law asked if i could look after my 18 month old neice while she went to the dentist ( yep, no problem ). Consequently, we didnt try to another nap until 1pm. This was when the fail came in. Long story short - my previously adorable son lie in his bed, wrapped up and tucked in, crying and screaming for two hours. This was only because, after an hour and half, i couldnt take anymore of being in the same room and i cracked, curled up on the floor in the fetal position and bawled my eyes out, before my mum rang and out of the blue and i begged her to come and help me.

Yes, you read that i right - i full on cracked. Crumbled. Came unstuck. But my mum took Flynn outside, and my dad helped me off the floor, and we had a chat and worked out a way to help me ( my dad, who walks every afternoon, is going to come and take Flynn with him so i can have an hour to myself to clean, or cook, or read, or nap... or whatever )..... and i am ok. And i will be ok tomorrow.

Maybe we are not ready for the Parental Presence method. Maybe it will be better tomorrow. Maybe it wont work at all and i'll just have to try something else. But i'm gonna keep trying cos that the kind of mumma i am - vunerable and perhaps slightly mental, but willing to do whatever i can for my bubba....

Welcome to Project Sleepy-Time

Name: Project Sleepy-Time

Aim : To get my son to learn to sleep without mummy having to cuddle him and pat him. That is, Mr Flynny needs to learn the skill of self-settling - i cannot keep hugging him to sleep. He is only one week off being 6 months old and i think i'm ready to give the whole self-settling thing a proper shot.

Method: After much reading and chatting to fellow mums and the Tresillian nurse on MSN Mums, i have decided to go with the so-called " Parental Presence " method. Heres how it works: i wrap Flynn up and give him the usual cuddle until he's calm/drowsy. Then, rather than keep the cuddling and patting going til he's comfortably pushing out the zzz's, i'm going to put him in his cot, tuck him in, give him a kiss and tell him its time to go to sleep. Now, the " parental presence " part - rather than leave the room i'm going to curl up in a bean bag right beside his bed, where he can see me, and pretend to be asleep. If he becomes agitated i'm to keep my eyes closed and say " Ssshhh, its time to go to sleep ". In theory i need to keep this pretend sleep thing going until Flynn falls asleep.

Dude - this is going to be hard! I am under no illusions that this is going to be both difficult, and time-consuming. I've tried controlled crying and, believe me, my son must have one hell of a stubborn streak - i've left him in his cot, alternately whingeing and crying ( with me checking on him every 10 minutes ) for almost 2 hours ( out of sheer frusturation ). Did he eventually fall asleep? No. No, after 2 hours it was time for him to have another feed. We've tried the controlled crying for over 2 weeks and not once has he fallen asleep in his cot on his own. Fail, controlled crying, fail.

So, " Parental Presence " method, here we come. Its now 7:41am on Monday morning - we have been awake for 40 minutes, have had one booby feed, will be having a yoghurt in about half an hour and i'm anticipating tired sign by 8:45am, at which point Project Sleepy-Time will come into effect. I'm thinking today is going to be full of crying, screaming, general non-cooperation and a frazzled mummy, but i'm determined to stick with it. Wish me luck!

Solicitors, Service Users and Concrete Sheep

I was in Islington this week, attending the latest Mental Health Academics UK group meeting. This has to be one of the best groups in the mental health nursing world. Many of the leading contributors to contemporary thinking on what makes for an effective mental health nurse and how we prepare individuals for this role were there.

Coming home, I sat opposite a solicitor who spent much of the two hour journey on his Black banana shouting at one of his staff. The unfortunate victim of this mans wrath was a subordinate who had received 9 emails from a customer about a deal that was aimed at establishing a line of credit, and apparently he hadn’t responded to any of these emails. I am glad it wasn’t me on the other end of the phone. There wasn’t much I felt I could learn from Clive’s management approach or his interpersonal skills, but I could connect with his notion that customers are important and that to ignore them was likely to only result in disaster for everyone.

Coincidently, I was sitting on the train peer reviewing a paper that looked at Consumer Participation in Australian mental health services. Sadly, the paper wasn’t very good and I was struck by the ‘political correctness’ in the approach being reported upon. I was uncomfortable with what I was reading and whilst rhetoric is at times, very useful, this paper depressed me.

I had this in mind as this week the School had two important ‘customer’ events. The first was the inaugural service user, carer, practitioner conference – the theme was compassion and care. Partly the conference was our contribution to recognizing and celebrating National Carers Week, but partly it was the realization of a long held ambition of our Service User and Carer Group in the School. This group celebrates its fifth anniversary as a group. Their contribution tour Schools life has grown year on year. This year also sees the first group of students who participated in the first of what has become a hugely successful service user, carer and student conference graduating at ceremonies in July.

My colleagues in the School and our partners in the Service User and Carer group did us proud. The event was a success. Over 130 people attended and they were once again reacquainted with the realities of what it might be like to be a carer. The second event was a participation event looking at how to more effectively engage with children and young people in all aspects of our work, but particularly, with our research activities. Again this was a very successful event and provided much for us to think about in taking this work forward.

And talking about children, my eldest son and his wife presented me with my fifth grandchild this week. It is a slightly spooky feeling, but of course I am so proud and happy for them. As it is the digital age, I was able to see photos within a hour of him being born – despite the birth happening in Hastings, New Zealand! Intriguingly, the clock tower in the centre of Hastings is surrounded by a small flock of concrete sheep. It appears that uunknown Hastings residents seem to find it an unending source of amusement to leave real sheep droppings behind the concrete sheep. I think it is called having fun in New Zealand. I have been there three times and every time I come away thinking it is along way away from anywhere else in the world.

Anywhere else in the world was just where I wanted to be last Sunday! The six foxes that have taken up residence in our neighborhood came like Ninjas in the middle of the day and took and killed all our chickens. They did so while we were in the kitchen preparing lunch. All that escaped this ferocious attack were a couple of one week old baby chicks and Jemima – the duck who thinks she is chicken. Heroically Jemima has literally taken the two orphaned chicks under her wing.

But it is now a new week and today is Fathers day. I have just been presented with a great big bottle of malt whisky from my youngest daughter. Yes we start our days early. The whisky is called Monkey Shoulder. Readers of earlier blogs will recall that this whiskey has a special significance for the two of us. As with all my children, I have always tried to ensure they understand how much of burden it can be to carry someone else’s monkey on your shoulder.

Another Friday Flip Offs

Welcome once again to Friday Flip Offs, the end-of-week stress reliever, brought to by Gigi over at Kludgy Mom. Joining us in virtually flipping off all those things that have annoyed you this week, thus saving your friends and families from your real life wrath. Have at

To the washing man machine repair people - who sent back my machine unrepaired. After having Mick take the machine into the shop ( rather than you come to our home ) you returned it saying there was nothing wrong with it. We paid you $30 for this privilege. Upon doing a (thankfully ) small load of washing i discovered that it still wasnt spinning properly and washing was still sopping wet. Mick hasnt had time to take it back in this week - as you want to charge us a further $66 that we cant afford to come to our house and look at it - so it looks like i'll be without my machine for the third week running. Its getting really inconvenient to pack up my baby and a basket of washing and go out to do the laundry. Fix my damned machine or FLIP OFF!

To the NSW State of Origin selectors ( again ) -  job well done doodleheads. Instead of showing a bit of faith in a team that only lost the first match by 4 points, you chopped and changed 7 players and we lost the second game 36 -4.... and this years series. For the fifth straight year. If it were up to me i'd fire the lot of you... FLIP OFF!

To brownies, and slice, and all the stuff i love to bake - i love you, really i do, but your slowly making me fat. Not that fat is necessarily bad, its just not where i want to be. Therefore, i will only be baking once a week from now on - on a Wednesday, for mums group on a Thursday - and if the urge strikes me to bake any other time i will have to tell it to FLIP OFF!

To Pim Verbeek, Socceroos coach  - I know almost nothing about soccer, but i even i know the decision to NOT play our two best forwards was pretty damn stupid. You upset my brother and you upset the rest of the soccer-loving nation. Frankly i think most people cant wait til the World Cup is over and you can just FLIP OFF!

To my bathroom - which needs to be cleaned. Can't you just learn to clean yourself? Don't get me wrong, its not filthy or anything.... the floor is just covered in my hair ( damn breastfeeding! ) and the bath is accumulating a nice light covering of dust ( where the baby bath isnt sitting ). Its just with Flynn's teething this week, and subsequent clinginess and grumpiness, i just havent found time to get in there. So get thyself clean or FLIP OFF!

A Grave Matter

For twenty-five years I’ve been taking care of properties around Kezar Lake in Lovell, Maine. At first, I would do most of the work myself, but now I make sure things get done by others. I’ve done carpentry, plumbing, wiring, tree work, and so forth. I’m not that great at any of them but I know enough to recognize quality work by those who are, and I know which tradesmen are dependable. Getting good people for clients is pretty much the service I provide now.

Some jobs, however, I still do myself and one involved digging up a grave. The property went up for sale and a family member named Ernest was buried on it. My clients, Ernest’s adult children, wanted his remains and his stone moved a town cemetery and I said I would take care of it.The grave was in a grove of large white pines with extensive root systems and Ernest had been down there for about twenty years. The previous caretaker, an older man named John, had shown me around the property and he had really liked Ernest. “He was the greatest,” said John.

John explained that the family had purchased a grave stone in the shape of a bench, engraved it with Ernest’s vital statistics, and had it set up in the pine grove. Then they gave him an urn with Ernest’s ashes in it and asked him to bury it somewhere near the bench. They also told him they didn’t want to know exactly where he put it. “So I took it in there, dug a hole, and buried it,” he explained.

“Hmm,” I said, never knowing that I’d be asked to dig it up some day. If I had, I’d certainly have asked him exactly where he dug and how deep.

John was a gregarious guy and he told me he’d been asked to do this kind of thing several times. “One family sent me some ashes and asked me to spread them on the lake, so I did. Then they called to say they were coming up to have a little ceremony in the boat as I sprinkled them.”“Uh-oh,” I said.

“Yeah,” he said, chuckling. “So I just spooned some ashes out of the wood stove, put them in the urn, and did it again while they said nice things about the guy. Nobody knew the difference.” While out checking his remaining properties a short time later, John died too.

I was thinking about all this the first June morning after school got out. Still, I didn’t think I’d have much problem finding Ernest’s urn. I put a long-handled spade, a pick, and a steel rod in the back of my pickup, headed over to the site, and figured I’d start looking right under the stone. It was sunny and already humid as I lifted the three segments of granite bench and set them aside. The steel rod was an old axel with one end sharpened, and I used it to gingerly probe beneath the surface hoping not to damage Ernest’s urn. With the second probe I clinked on something solid, so I took the spade and dug carefully. About twelve inches down I found a stone the size of my fist.

Examining the sides of my shallow hole, I didn’t see evidence that anyone had ever dug there. The strata of humus, loam, and mineral soil were intact, so I took up the pointed rod and started probing in an ever-increasing radius. I chopped through lots of roots, swatted hundreds of mosquitoes, and got soaked in sweat as I dug a dozen virgin holes and found a dozen fist-sized rocks. I went back home for lunch in frustration.The afternoon was hotter and more humid. I did more probes and dug another dozen holes with the same results, until the last hole showed evidence that someone had dug there before me. Then I noticed streaks of a light, gray material mixed on the edges of the hole and the pile next to it. After finding still another stone at the bottom, I realized that Ernest was urnless. That was him in the gray material scattered around, and I wondered how I was going to explain this to his surviving family.

I got a tablespoon from one of the houses and carefully extricated as much of Ernest as I could from the soil into which he was mixed and put him into an old mason jar. I brought the gravestone to the new family plot in the town cemetery and set it up. Back home, I put Ernest’s mason jar in a place of honor on my mantle piece and called his daughter.“I found Ernest’s ashes,” I said, “but there was no urn . . .” I told her the story as earnestly as I could. She came up to Lovell shortly after and I gave her the mason jar. She and her brothers took Ernest to the town cemetery and buried him again. This time, hopefully, for good.

Mummy Tummy Begone!

Let me ask you this - how in the world am i going to be able to regularly indulge my love of baking without getting fat? I weighed myself the other day ( for the first time since having a baby ) and - argh! I weigh the same now as i did when i was 8 months pregnant! It kind of shocked me to tell you the truth. I managed to lose enough of the baby weight to fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans but just in the last few weeks i'd noticed them getting a little uncomfortable around the middle. And no wonder - i am now only 3 kgs lighter than my heaviest ever weight ( but, strangely, still 2 clothing sizes smaller ).

I know we should pay more attention to how our clothes fit than we do to a particular number but i cant help it. I worked really hard a few years back to get some weight off - i lost a total of 20 kgs in about a year - and the thought of it creeping back on, even after having a baby, is creeping me out. And so this week has seen the implementation of " Operation Slim Down ". Its nothing drastic, mind you. I'd like to lose at least 10 kgs and get back to the weight i was before falling pregnant. I havent put a time frame on it because, as a new mum, the last thing i need is the added pressue of some kind of deadline. So, over the next few months or so, i plan on losing 10 kgs by taking Flynn for at least one walk everyday - even when its cold and i have to rug him up - and by doing a yoga routine at home at least once a week. Y'all know i love me some yoga and i think its the thing i've missed the most about my pre-baby life. I know enough to devise my own routine ( bearing in mind i wanted, and still want to oneday, train as a yoga teacher ) and have motivation enough to stick with it without having someone to push me. I dont really plan on changing me eating habits too much though. I eat fairly well - though i do eat more than i used to because breastfeeding makes me hungry! - its more the sedentary lifestyle of the last 6 months that has seen my mummy tummy stay put.

God helps me if my mummy tummy actually starts to spread - even though Mick tells me i'm beautiful i think we'll have to agree to disagree....

What I Like About You!

Ok, not actually you , out there reading this. This is actually another Blog This! challenge post, which for this week reads: Select 10 things you love about your life and tell us why. It could be certain people, where you live, your local shop...include images if you like.

So, in know real particular order ( or, i should say, the order that these things sprung into my head. Read into that what you will .... ) -

1. My son - well duh, of course Flynn was going to be on my list. Even with crying, teething, pooing, not pooing, hair pulling and vomiting, the almost-6 months he's been in my life have been the bestest time ever.

2. My fiance - Michael brightens my world. We very rarely fight and the few times we have i've only loved him more the next day. He tells me my mummy tummy is beautiful, says he's proud of me, loves my cooking and encourages me to be a good wife and mother. I love him big lots!

3. My family - my people are good people. I'm really close to my immediate family - if any of them ever move away, i'm not really sure how i'd cope. Seriously, i see either my mum and dad, my little sister, or my brother and his family at least 4 times a week. When i need adult conversation during the day ( being home alone with a baby can make you a little mental ) my family are the first ones i turn to. And, having a best friend be someone you've had a falling out with and are still trying to get back on track with, my family are my best friends too.

4. The internet - it connects me to the world; it informs, educates and entertains me. Its my window to the world beyond my front door which, with a baby, i sometimes feel i'm not really a part of. I love you inter-web!

5. My slow cooker - best.invention.ever. Its so convenient to be able to put dinner on at lunchtime and not have to worry about it at the busy end of the day. Plus, succulent, moist, meat falling off the bone? Heaven...

6. Cooking in general - I've totally fallen in love with cooking in the last few months. I'd cooked before of course, but it had only ever been out of necessity. Now, i love the ritual of sitting down with recipe books and cooking magazines, planning the menu for the week, writing my shopping list, buying the produce and then cooking each meal. It fills me with some strange kind of satisfaction when i get a dish right, or when i get a compliment on it. I love compliments!

7. Naps - really simple: naps are refreshing, and there is nothing better in winter than being able to snuggle up with a blanket and go to sleep. If i'm tired enough, when Flynn sleeps, i sleep. Naps make my world a better, and much easier, place.

8. Pepsi Max - thirst quencher! I'm not a big drinker of alcohol: i know zero about wine, cant stomach beer, and only make myself a Midori and lemonade every blue moon. So when i need something sweet and fizzy, Pepsi Max is the go to. Apologies to my sisters boyfriend for sneaking cans from their fridge...

9. My father sense of humour -  this could technically come under " My Family " but my dads sense of humour deserves a spot all its own. He's the wittiest person i know and has a special brand of sarcasm and dryness that just tickles my funny bone. Couldnt live without it.

10. Ugg boots - dont look at me like that. Yes, they arent really fashionable, and no, i dont wear them down the street (much ). But they're comfy and warm and snuggly and those are the things that rock my world.

We Have Success!

So - Mick and I finally managed to make it to the cinema today, taking advantage of our public holiday Monday. See, we havent been to the movies since November last year ( the last film we saw at the cinema was " 2012 " ) and its something i really missed doing. I had planned on going to see " Avatar " with my father the day after Boxing Day last year ... but was interrupted but the birth of my son. Mick and I had planned to go 2 weeks ago but thats when i came down with that horrible 24 hour virus - and i didnt much fancy having to flee the cinema and run to toilet to throw up every 15 minutes. So when we noticed that the film we wanted to see was being shown in the cinema with the crying room today, we though why not pack up Flynn and we could all go to the movies together?

And so, with a bit of trepidation, we did. I put a few extra toys in Flynns bag, made sure he had a blanket in his pram ( why are cinemas always cold? ) and off we went to see " Robin Hood ". I'm not going to a review post or anything but suffice to say i enjoyed it. It was my kind of thing - epic, well shot, well acted ( despite ole Rusty's accent going in and out ) and its been left open to a sequel. Oh, and it also features the divine Cate Blanchett, who i think is just an acting goddess. What i really loved though was how well Flynn went. He was a little over-awed at the size of the screen to begin with but he fell asleep about 20 minutes into the movie and stayed asleep for over and hour. After the movie we bought some pies from our local bakery and had our lunch in the park.

So quite the successful outing. It gives me confidence that we can go out and do things with Flynn now that he's a little older without me worrying that he;s going to chuck some kind of big tantrum or go on a crying jag. The sanctuary of the crying room helps though of course :)