Like ChickenMan.... We're Everywhere!

Who's we ( If you have to ask who ChickenMan is, clearly you didnt listen to the radio as a kid... )? We is us, the mentally ill. The one's who have depression, anxiety disorder, PND, schizophrenia, multiple personalities. We're everywhere and everyone, and i wanted to take this chance during National Mental Health Week to let the rest of you in on a secret - we're not crazy. Or dangerous. As Matchbox Twenty once put it " I'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell ". Kudos to you Rob Thomas and band - that sums it up pretty damn well.

I've posted about it on here before a bazillion times but i'm not ashamed to say it again - i have previously suffered from clincial depression and social anxiety disorder. I say previously because i'm not in that dark place anymore, but i know and appreciate that there is always a chance i could succumb again at some stage. If i do it will be okay, because i know i'll have the strength to come through it again. I suffered for a long time, but with a lot of hardwork, great support, and an eventual break in those pyschological barriers, i've gotten better. I've achieved a few personal milestones that in my darkest times i though could only be found under a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Or, in other words, in a fantasy land that i just wasnt every going to get to. But here i am, living the dream, or at least parts of it.

So i'm living proof that mentally ill people are:
a) everyday people. The people you know, the people you meet on the street, the people who work at the mall.
b) not always going to be mentally ill. Just because they're living in the darkness or in a muddled foggy cloud, doesnt mean they wont ever find the sunshine again. Be patient. Be supportive. Be there.
c) not a scourge on society. I couldnt be a scourge if i tried!

I know some of you out there have current mental health issues that your fighting and to you i say - be strong. You CAN do it. In the spirit of Mental Health Week i'm sending you positive vibes and all my cyber love. To those of you are mentally fit and competent i say - congratulations! Oh, and could you please spare some good vibes and cyber love and send it out to everyone under a black cloud this week?

Uh, How Do I Put This?

The first day of Project Sleepy-time ? Big. Fat. Fail.

I thought we were going to be ok, at first. He showed tired signs at around 8:20 am. I wrapped him up, gave me a quick snuggle and put him into his bed, as described in my last post. It took 45 minutes of crying ( and 2 minutes of me stroking his cheek, which i dont think was allowed ) to get him to sleep. 45 minutes i spent lying bag in a bean bag, with my eyes shut, pretending to be asleep. Not too bad for our first effort. I could put up with that.

Flynn woke after an hour and he was all smiley and cheery and generally adorable. I was going to try putting him to bed again around noon but my sister-in-law asked if i could look after my 18 month old neice while she went to the dentist ( yep, no problem ). Consequently, we didnt try to another nap until 1pm. This was when the fail came in. Long story short - my previously adorable son lie in his bed, wrapped up and tucked in, crying and screaming for two hours. This was only because, after an hour and half, i couldnt take anymore of being in the same room and i cracked, curled up on the floor in the fetal position and bawled my eyes out, before my mum rang and out of the blue and i begged her to come and help me.

Yes, you read that i right - i full on cracked. Crumbled. Came unstuck. But my mum took Flynn outside, and my dad helped me off the floor, and we had a chat and worked out a way to help me ( my dad, who walks every afternoon, is going to come and take Flynn with him so i can have an hour to myself to clean, or cook, or read, or nap... or whatever )..... and i am ok. And i will be ok tomorrow.

Maybe we are not ready for the Parental Presence method. Maybe it will be better tomorrow. Maybe it wont work at all and i'll just have to try something else. But i'm gonna keep trying cos that the kind of mumma i am - vunerable and perhaps slightly mental, but willing to do whatever i can for my bubba....