Meme Time!

So my last post was a re-doing of a meme that wasnt really a meme because i'd never been tagged for it ( Got it? Good ). Today, my post is an actually meme because i was tagged for this one, and awarded some bloggy love, by the lovely Hayley at Our Unique Journey. She thinks i'm a Kreativ Blogger!

And, with so many blog awards, come the rules and regulations of the meme. This one wants me to tell you 7 random things about myself. I can't promise they'll be NEW things but i'll give it my best:

1. I secretly enjoy watching childrens television shows. I know in years to come i will probably be sick to death of them, but right now i enjoy both the programs themselves and the bright look they bring to my sons face. At almost 9 months old he's still a bit little to really WATCH tv, but we sit down together at 12pm and watch " Sesame Street " ( Elmo and Grover in particular get a huge smile ) and he also enjoys " The Magic Roundabout ". However, i shant be letting him watch shows that dont use proper language, such as " In The Night Garden ". I cant stand that show and cant understand why anyone would let a child who is developing their language skills watch a programme where all they do is babble nonsensically.

2. I enjoy driving in Sydney. This is possibly because i dont actually live there, so everytime i have the need to drive in there its because i'm on some little adventure. I'm sure if i actually resided in Sydney i'd feel different but for the time being i dont mind driving on the M4 or negotiating the one way streets in the city itself...

3. I never thought i'd have my first child with a man that i had only known a matter of months and wasnt married to ( i always pictured being married first, not that it matters ) but you know what ? The world works in mysterious ways. And i like it.

4. I'll admit it - i'm a pimple picker. I know your not supposed to pick and squeeze at them, but i just can't help it. If i feel a big hard, yucky lump under my skin, i have this compulsion to get it out. Yes, it'll probably scar, but i just cant help myself. Hey, at least i'm not a nose picker....

5. I failed my drivers licence test 3 times. Yep - 3. The first time i actually hit  a car while trying to reverse parallel park ( actually, it was when i was pulling out of the park... ), and the other two times had to with the " blink off " at roundabout road rule here in NSW. I'll cop to the first test, i should have failed that time, but the second and third times were just revenue raising.

6. I think i'm becoming a Zumba junkie. I'd always been in love with yoga ( and still am ) but almost 9 months after giving birth and not having shifted any weight, i decided to give something a bit more hi-impact a try. And i love it! I dont have to be a born dancer and you dont even have to get the steps 100% perfect all of the time, you just gotta feel the music and move. And its way fun!

7. I have a habit of surfing real estate websites for houses in my (pretend ) price range, even though i'm not yet in the market for a new home. We live in a duplex which the bank  I own, but at the end of next year or early 2012 i'd like to buy an actual house to raise our family in. So, even though its a year or two away, i like checking out what kind of homes are out there waiting for me to buy one day...

So there you be! I know i'm also supposed to give this award away to 7 of bloggers of my choice and link to their blogs...blah blah blah...but as i've done this meme before, i might skip that it this time. However, if you want the Kreativ Blogger award leave me a comment telling me how awesome i am ( ha! ) and i might just give you one...

Sneakers, Cars, and Clothing

Sneakers and cars are things I have to purchase periodically, but I’m getting annoyed lately at the choices available when I shop for them. So is my wife. She needed a new car last fall and we started looking around. I had bought a pickup recently, but it had been several years since either of us looked at cars. “Why do all the new sneakers and cars look like they come from outer space?” she asked.

They do. We eventually bought a year-old, silver-colored Subaru Forester. It looks like an oversized bicycle helmet - the kind real bike nuts wear - those guys all bent down close to their handlebars in their florescent spandex outfits. But then, so does nearly every other make and model of car we checked out. It’s hard to tell them apart, but at least her new car blends in with the others on the road.

Last fall I decided to start using my legs more while they still work, so I sprinted down the road in front of my house in an old pair of sneakers. Though I was running as fast as I could and it felt like sprinting, anyone watching might have described it as jogging. Whatever it was, my wife said I shouldn’t be running like that in my old sneakers. She insisted I needed running shoes or I might hurt my feet. Because so many other parts of my body hurt, I didn’t notice my feet that much until I’d been doing it for a couple of weeks. So I went over to the outlet stores in North Conway to look for running shoes and the first thing I noticed was that there was no such thing as cheap. The least expensive pair cost $45 and there were no plain-looking ones either. They all looked like multicolored bicycle helmets too.

I bought the least expensive pair. They provide cushioning for my feet and they’re well-engineered with good structural support. They’re light and well-ventilated. They’re great in every other way, but I’m embarrassed to wear them in public. I don’t want to look like Spider Man or like I’m trying out for the Olympic team - I just want to run as comfortably as possible. I don’t wear any special running clothes - no spandex, no warm-up pants - I go in whatever I’m wearing that day. Usually that’s an old pair of Dickies pants or shorts and a T-shirt in the hot weather. That’s another reason space-age running sneakers look stupid on me. I dress plainly and then I have these things on my feet. I haven’t worn them at night yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they glowed in the dark.

And while I’m on the subject, I don’t like it when manufacturers put their names and corporate symbols all over their clothing. It says “Reebok” in four places on my spacey sneakers, not counting the logos. I don’t like to be an unpaid walking billboard for the company. People must like all the labels because companies wouldn’t put out T-shirts, hats and sweatshirts emblazoned with their names if people didn’t want them. What’s up with all that? Status? Fashion? I don’t know.

My Dickies pants are made of strong fabric that holds up well and looks acceptable (by my standards) for more than two years before it starts to get tattered. Pretty good for twenty bucks. They also make flannel-lined khakis for winter which I love because with them I don’t need long underwear. They’re both excellent products, but I remove the sewn-on labels as soon as I get them home.

I buy Carhartt “work/dry” T-shirts and polo shirts because they’re comfortable, durable, shed perspiration well, and they all come with breast pockets for my pen and pencil, which I especially like. They’re not cheap at about twenty and thirty dollars respectively, but they’re worth the money. When I get home though, I take the labels off them too. For a year, I can wear them to school, to church, and places like that, and then I can wear them kicking around town for another year or two before they start ripping. After that I can use them for painting, cutting wood, weed-whacking, and such things. By the time I’m done with them, neither the Salvation Army nor Goodwill want them.

That’s the way it is with my old sneakers, cars, or trucks too. When I’m done with them, they’re not much good to anyone else. Then I have to go shopping again.

Puzzle Pieces - Redux

So, i was going through my archive, torturing myself by reading every post i've ever made with reference to my now ex-friend ( i'm a sucker for punishment, but more on that at a later date ) when i came across a post i had real fun doing. Seeing as it was from way back in 2008 and i figure it was ripe for the re-doing. I think it was once a meme that i wasnt tagged for but stole anyway*. The idea was to head over to http://www.someecards.com/ and choose five cards that were representative of you and your life right now. Kind of like pretty, funny, little puzzle pieces. So i did just that - the five i have chosen are different to the ones i picked back in 2008 so here they be:

Ah, so this would should be self-explanatory ( and if it isnt, where have you been the last few days? Not on my blog apparently... ). Thats me in the cute dress, at the bottom. I may feel like i'm at the bottom of the whole friendship jungle gym there, but at least that means i can only go up ( and i'm wearing a cute dress. Always a bonus ).

Yea, thanks Mum and Dad. Oh, and thanks to me from Flynn. Over the years i've been a bit of a worry for my parents, not because i was the ultimate teen rebel but because i was the ultimate teen emo. I'm sure its taken its toll on their mental health ( although i think my dad's always been fairly wack ). And its fair to say the trials of Flynns first 8 months have done my head in some what - not that i was entirely stable to begin with. So thanks to my parents for keeping me as close to sane as possible!

I do. The thought of it scares me. It hasnt happened yet but there is a first time for everything. But the day i start singing along to Justin Bieber - not because a song has been on constant rotation and i cant get the bloody thing out of my head - but because i actually LIKE it, is the day you people need to promise to hunt me down and shoot me. Please?!?

Oh yea - I love you Mick! In fact, i love him so much, i havent even entertained thoughts of ever wanting to, or needing to, leave him. Thats love right? Hell, i didnt even have an escape plan for our first date ( you know, the one where you get your friend to call with some kind of emergency ? ), thats how much i liked him initially. Methinks i've got me a keeper...

And this, my lovelies, is for you all. Your kind comments have been a great, big, fat help the last few days. Its funny how people who have never met me in real life ( which is all but one of you ... ) can have a better read on my personality than someone i thought i was close to. Sure, there are two sides to every story and i'm sure ex-friends version of events is somewhat different to mine, but its nice to know that i have some support based not only on recent events but on what you guys have read over the past few years. I know that my blog is a true reflection of who I am, and to know that you guys support me based on what you've read - on what is ME , as it were - means a lot. So mucho gracias, dudes, mucho!

*Also, feel free to steal this idea if you want. Its not a meme so i aint tagging anyone but if you have bloggers block and are in need of a kick along, take this...

Pricked Again

Well - its over.

My ( now former ) best friend found my blog and didnt like what she read. She wasnt happy at what i had assumed about her husband, and i guess i cant blame her - it was an assumption after all. ( And, as we sadly know, retrospect is both a blessing and a curse ). But after months of being ignored by him ( and her aswell ) or, at the very least, getting the simplest of civil " hello's " i dont know what else i was supposed to think. Generally when someone does not speak to you, or speaks to you only because they feel obligated to, it means they dont actually like you. At least, thats my experience. Apparently her husband had nothing but the highest regards for Mick but, again, i didnt hear anything about it until too late. If he, or she, had made these apparent positive feelings known to me, I would never have had the chance to assume the worst ( as an over-active mind is want to do ).

I received any email from my friend yesterday morning, telling me how arrogant and nasty and horrible a person i am, how insecure I am in myself and my relationship, how hypocritical and judgemental and full of myself i am, and detailing every perceived slight against her dating back to high school. She berated me for confiding my feelings in my blog and not giving her husband a chance to defend himself, yet in the same breath brings up every " bad " thing i have ever done in the time she has known me, some of which i was not even aware of - which gives me no chance to defend myself. She said that we no longer have anything in common, that neither of us cares anymore, and that we're holding onto nothing. This may be true on her part but if i didnt care, would i have felt passionately enough to have let my feelings out? If i didnt care anymore i would have been happy to just see less and less of her until years down the track we realised we were no longer in each others lives. I did care, and i thought, after last years debacle, that there was still something to hold onto. She herself said so in an email back then - that we could both try and we'd only grow closer. Truth is, i was the only one who tried.

After our falling out when i announced my pregnancy, things were rough. We communicated gingerly, but when she herself fell pregnant she contacted me, elated and excited. I thought things were going to be great but i was always the instigator of any contact from that point. I would text her to see how her pregnancy was, email to see how she was feeling; when i was going into labour she was the second person i called ( after my mum ) because i wanted to share that crazy/scary moment with my best friend; i found out her daughter was born by a generic text message she sent to all her contacts ( unlike her however, i took no offence to texting ). When our babies were small i would be the one to text and see how she was getting on, and suggest a catch up - i cant recall once when she asked me without being prompted first. Over the past 8 months she has increasingly ignored me, via email and Facebook ( i commented on her status, and she would reply to everyone but me, and would never comment on my status except to hit the " Like " button ). Finally, this alienation became too much for me and i had my bloggy tizzy fit.

And now - we're over. She has said so in her email and, just to make it official, she has defriended me on Facebook - the ultimate in modern " fuck you "s. I replied to her missive, but dont expect a reply in return. And so, in the next few months, leading up to Christmas and my sons first birthday, and in planning my wedding - i will miss her. I will see her at the mall and wonder whether i should give a polite nod " hello "; i will see her driving around town and wonder where she is going; I will see that a mutual friend has commented on her Facebook status and wonder what she has written. I will wait and see if any other friendships falter, and wonder if she has told these other friends just how she feels about me. I will watch my son grow and wonder how her daughter is doing, whether we are experiencing the same mummy rites of passage. I will miss her.

But i will take this in my stride, learn from my mistakes, and know that i will grow to be a better person without the sadness and alienation and hurt she has slowly forced upon over the last year. I will live, and i will learn to trust in friends again. And i will continue to be me, the REAL me, and know that hiding my truth so as not be hated or judged ( as i felt i would be ) is just not worth my time, nor the heartbreak it will inevitably bring....

Bears on the Square, Northern Lights and Giraffes on the Balcony.

It is 06.30 in the morning (04.30 if you are living in the UK). For much of this week I have been in Helsinki as part of the Nordic Mental Health Nursing Conference. I have enjoyed a long and productive relationship with colleagues living and working in Finland, and have been coming here for many years on joint projects, conferences and teaching. It always feels a little like coming home. I was here with some of my colleagues from our mental health directorate, and between us we presented 13 papers and two posters on our research and scholarly activities in the School, more of which later.

I had a chance to look around the city on the afternoon before the conference. There were two experiences that stuck in my mind. The first was sitting in the beautiful Temppeliaukio Church. This is a church whose interior was excavated and built into the rock, but is bathed in natural light entering through the glazed dome. Just sitting there in this natural light listening to soft organ music and feeling the stillness was a wonderful experience and one I will treasure for a while.

The other experience that struck a chord was coming into Senate Square and finding the world tour exhibition of the United Buddy Bears – The Art of Tolerance had arrived in Finland. The bears have been on the road since 2004, and Helsinki is their 20th stop. There are 142 individually painted bear sculptures, each just over two metres tall. Each of them represents a nation recognised by the UN and have been painted by an artist from that nation.

The United Buddy Bears project was initiated by Eva and Klaus Herlitz of Berlin. They wanted to raise thoughts about cultural diversity in the world and tolerance between peoples. That I was able to see this exhibition and become part of the work seemed important given the stories of the pastor in the US threatening to burn another religions sacred text on the anniversary of 9/11. Thankfully a more tolerant position was finally adopted, and the burning did not take place. Coincidently, I was in Finland on the day of the 9/11 attack.

Tolerance was also an unintentional theme to emerge from the collective works presented by my colleagues and me. For example, tolerance in terms of the aging process, sexuality, perceived societal risk, self harm, embracing the non professional voice in providing care, recognising the rights of young people. These presentations connected well with others who discussed developments in primary care and mental health and well being.

Indeed, two colleagues stood tall and proud with heads raised right above the parapet in presenting their work on making mental health promotion everyone’s business. Two flawless presentations cogently set out the arguments and a possible way forward in improving our educational preparation of students in this area and possibilities of working more closely with non professional organisations.

It can be difficult to present your work at such a large conference. I also received an email telling me about another colleague who had presented this week at the NET conference in Cambridge. This was the first time she had done so, and although finding the experience a little daunting was very proud to have been given the chance to present her work about mentoring at an international conference.

I was in Tallinn, Estonia yesterday, with a group of colleagues from Norway, the Faroe Islands, Ireland, Finland, and Denmark for a brief mental health nurses meeting. This city has a large and almost intact medieval quarter. It was lovely to sit outside and enjoy a peaceful moment in the early autumn afternoon sunshine before returning to Helsinki on the high speed ferry.

And those giraffes, well in the municipal building across the road from my hotel are two life size model giraffes peering down at people passing by. Like my colleagues these two giraffes have been sticking their necks out all week. Unlike the giraffes, I think my colleagues have all made a much bigger impact.

9/11

Nine years ago four planes were hijacked as my mom took me to school for a Tuesday of 2nd grade classes. Later that morning two of those planes crashed into the two World Trade Center towers as I walked back from the bathroom with my classmates. I remember seeing the footage on the TV that was in the daycare as my class walked by. The school administrator then came over the load speaker announcing exactly what had happened and that due to these events everyone was to stay inside the school. Being only in second grade I didn't understand just what had happened and was simply upset because we wouldn't get to go outside for recess.

I will never forget that day. I'll never forget seeing over and over again on the news the towers falling, the smoke billowing, the people running, the many families faces who lost someone in all four of those crashes. It is a day all who can remember will never forget.

As we remember this day let us also remember the families who lost loved ones in the crashes or in the aftermath. Let us also remember our troops who have fought, are fighting, or having given theirs lives protecting their country from something like this ever happening again.

God Bless America.

Its Friday - Time For Flip Offs!

OK, i dont even know if Gigi from KludgyMom still has Friday Flip Offs still up and running, but i'm going to continue to do them because they were a nice, get-it-off-your-chest, end to the week. I missed it last week because i was on my deathbed ( ok, no, not quite ) but i'm back better than ever now!
To bronchitis - you suck. I somehow end up with you every bloody year and this year is, sadly, no exception. I managed to go the whole winter without having a cold bad enough to bring you on but in the last week of my least favourite season i caught Flynn chest infection and voila! you have made your annual appearance. I'm already sick of the big, barky, mucus-y cough you inflict me with, and it will probably be another week or two before you disappear. How bout you do me a favour and just FLIP OFF!

To the Catholic Church - in Australia, who have decided to ban popular music from funeral services. You killjoys - apparently, according to the almighty Church, a funeral is not a celebration of a persons life and the chance to farewell your loved one, but is intended to commend their soul to God. Which, according to their latest edict, is supposed to be strictly about Church pomp and circumstance and nothing else. They've even asked some people to exclude funny recollections and praise of a loved one from eulogies, and stick only to fact based speeches. As if i didnt hate the hypocrisy and arrogance of the Catholic Church already. So, to the Archbishop of Melbourne specifically who handed down these new rules - why dont you go take a flying leap and FLIP OFF!

To Allanah on " Four Weddings " - screw you and your idea of what a wedding should be. I cannot understand any normal person spending $80 000 on what is essentially only a few hours of their lives. I could buy one third of a house with that, or two brand new cars, and you spent that on cakes, and a dress and a fancy reception venue. What a bloody waste. Also, your comment about one of the other girls wedding dresses, that it looked like something you would buy off a bridal store rack...yea, that really got up my nose. 90% of women ( you know, in my estimation ) are going to buy a dress of the rack from a bridal boutique and there's will be just as special as the $8000 custom creation you were sporting ( which, thought pretty, was indistinguishable from the second hand dress you were hating on ). Just because you had the biggest, most expensive wedding does not make you the best. It just makes you pretentious, so take your fancy, fluffy dress and your bad attitude and FLIP OFF!