Hypothetically Speaking....

So - yesterday would have been my brother Eli's 21st birthday. We had some birthday drinks and a cake for him. My neice H insisted on singing " Happy Birthday ", which kind of made my mum tear up a bit. Thats me and him, right there.

Just imagine - the child in that photo with me would have been 21 yesterday, had he lived past the age he is in that photo. You'll forgive me if this is kind of morbid, but my head spins thinking what my life would have been like if Eli was still around. First of all, my sister wouldnt exist, at least not in the capacity she does now. My sister was born 10 months after my brothers death ( draw your own conclusion there... ) so maybe she would never have been born at all. Secondly, i'd have two brothers - Good Lord Almighty, one has been enough! What if i was the only girl in the house ? I suppose i would have been a way better wrestler if i'd grown up with two brothers. I mean i totally kick arse now, but imagine if i'd had to beat two instead of one? Oh, and i probably wouldnt have half the emotional issues i have now - the beginning of my childhood wouldnt have been as melancholy, thats for sure.

Surely i'm not the only one who ponders these hypotheticals. Of course, there are those people who prefer to say " But it happened, so why bother with the " what ifs " ? Well, i like to bother with the what ifs because its fun. Maybe not when your ponderings deaths, or divorces or dramas... but what about the small stuff, the stuff that seemed somewhat trivial at the time? The what ifs on those ones are good for daydreaming about on lazy Sundays - or, in my case, filling the space between thinking your tired and actually getting to sleep ( Insomniatic Musings, remember ? yes, it actually means something ). Take these for example ( bearing in mind that each situation is considered seperately to the next )......

What if i had gone to the class for gifted children ?

First off, Lauren i would probably still be best friends. I'd also have been better friends with some of the other girls who were in that class and, like them, i'd probably constantly travelling the world. I dont know how they do it, but 3 of the 4 girls who came to my high school out of that gifted class are ALWAYS overseas ( i know, because i stalk their Facebook pages ).

What if my best friend P had never moved to town?

Wow..... weird. I mean, the girl did totally snob me on her first day at my school so i dont even know why i'm friends with her anyway ( its cos i lubs her ). But if she'd never arrived in Year 8, I would probably be best friends with a girl named V. We would have probably moved to Sydney together, where she is now a nurse and i would be working in film.Yes, i dreamt of that once.... i could have been the female Australian version of Tim Burton.

What if i hadnt been to nervous to perform on stage with my Year 11 Drama class ?

I would have moved to Sydney after high school to attend NIDA ( The National Institute of Dramatic Arts ) and, consequently, I would be winning this years Oscar for my brilliant performance in some biopic, co-starring the ever talented and totally gorgeous Emile Hirsch - who i would also be engaged to ( we fell in love on set ). I'd be wearing a fabulous Zac Posen dress, Louboutins and some kind of Bvlgari jewellery. Oh hell yes. Ok, thats not me, thats Jennifer Garner - but i would totally rock a Zac Posen!

What if I had agreed to stay the second year as an au pair ?

Its an absolute given that i would have got up the courage to ask out my crush - which means, of course, that i would now be married to Roberto the Chilean Deli Guy. We had have a handful of sweet, perfectly gorgeous, dark-haired Chilean-Australian babies. I would also be fat from all the chicken salad sandwiches i would have consumed. ( Towne Deli, Summit, NJ - go there, order chicken salad on a Portugese roll. )

What if i had been more passionate about my Year 12 Textiles class project ?

I would be taking part in this years season of " Project Runway- Australia " which i would of course, win. My designs would then be seen on every starlet in Sydney and Melbourne, where i on they would be noticed by Paris Hilton on her next trip to Australia to attend some random New Years Eve party ( for which she was paid a ridiculous amount of money ). Though i wouldnt be entirely pleased because Paris is a skank and my clothes are ( obviously ) not skanky, she would launch me in LA - from their, a runway show at New York Fashion week using ANTM contestants. Picture it .... ( please refer to the Zac Posen dress above for inspiration ).

Oh yes, check it boys and girls - I have totally brought the pop culture references to the table for this post!

First impressions

So, as kind of, sort of, alluded to into the last post I've come up with a list of " firsts " to complete the " lasts " from the last entry. It was inevitable really, wasnt it? I've found the answers to the firsts to be a little more telling, more embarrassing than the lasts - so many firsts happen when you're a kid, and who has impeccable taste and judgement when they're in the 1st grade? Certainly not me, although i probably thought so at the time. And so:



First movie I ever loved enough to watch over and over:

" Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya, Tomorrow! You're only a day awaaaaaaaaaaay! ". Yep, for me, it was " Annie ". God, how i loved that movie. In fact, i still have an old VHS with the film taped off the tv and its still watchable. Anyhoo, there was just something about a all-singing, all-dancing, all-grinning, all-wisecracking red-headed orphan that I just fell in love with. Hell, i wanted to chuck in my parents and move to the girls home with Miss Hannigan, just so i could hang out with Annie and sing while i scrubbed floors. I think at one point in my young life, i probably knew every word to every song in that movie. " Its a hard knock life for us, its a hard knock life - for us..... "



First pet I owned:
His name was Gus, and he was a beagle. I named him after a snail from an Australian childrens TV show ( you remember, Gus, from Mr Squiggle, for all the Aussie readers... ) and he was cute and iloved him. At least thats how i remember it, seeing as i was around 3 or 4 a the time. I also remember going out shopping with my mum one day and when we got back, Gus was gone. I, naturally, was devastated. My memory, however doesnt exactly ring true ? 15 years later my dad finally revelas to me that with another baby on the way my parents decided not to keep Gus and they sold him. Whoever they sold him to came to get him while i was out so that way it wouldnt like they were the bad guys. Bad guys! My parents are the WORST guys! Who gives away a little girls dog and then lies about it - for 15 years ? Those jerks.

First day of school:
I'm not sure on the date, but i started kindergarten in January of 1989 at North Dubbo Primary School. I could possibly have been wearing pigtails ( aww.... Little Amy is so cute! ) We had a Year 6 student as our " buddy " and my buddie's name was Melanie. Thats about all i remember clearly - just being at an assembly with the bigger kids first thing in the morning. Apparently, according to an old teacher of mine, i was a precocious young child. Me? Precocious? Who woulda thunk that ?

First album i bought:
Alright, everybody get ready to cringe - the first album i ever bought with my own money was " Walthamstow " by East 17. Yep, East 17. For anybody who doesnt know or doesnt remember, East 17 were a British boy band who made techno/house-y kind of pop. If you listen to it now, its incredibly lame but, in my defence, i was 8 years old when i bought it and East 17 were the cutest thing around at that time. They were house hats! And massive baggy pants! And they had a cool dog! Seriously, they had to have rocked - right ?

First kiss:
Ooh la la - kissy, kissy, kissy! I had my first kiss when i was in Year 4 and it was a boy named Kenny. Kenny was cool, we held hands at lunch time and walked home from schoo together and it was decided that we should probably kiss. I believe this decision was made more by general playground consensus than by us. As far as kisses go, it was quick smooch, a close-mouthed peck as you would expect for a pair of 9 year olds. Ah, young love. So romantic, kissing behind the school toilets with about 10 other kids watching...

First crush:
Not counting Kissing Kenny up there, my schoolgirl crush was on a boy named Brad when i was in Year 6. Brad was like totally the hottest boy in school, and for a while there he liked me too. However, after asking me to the Year 6 Farewell ( kind of like a prom in the sixth grade ), which i said " yes! " to, a week or two later he decided that i was flirting with other people ( when i was 11 ?Come on! ) and went with my friend Lisa. No biggie - I went with Kissing Kenny.
As far as my first adult crush goes, it was while i was in living New Jersey. Roberto was a Chilean guy who worked at the local deli ( Towne Deli in Summit, NJ - go there for the chicken salad on a Portuguese roll ). He was a bigger guy, slightly chubby i guess, with a long dark ponytail. He was really charming and always chatted with me when i came into get a sandwich. I think he just came off as an all round sweet natured guy, which is why i liked him. He mock-invited me to a picnic once, for the benefit of amusing my three year old charge - funny thing was, i totally wanted to go....

First job:
I was what is colloquially known as a " checkout chick ". When i turned 14 i went and got an after school job at the local Woolworths working as a cashier. It was incredibly boring and i didnt really make friends with anyone i worked with, but it gave me a little extra pocket money to buy cds and clothes and McDonalds with. As first jobs go, it wasnt so bad really.

First car:
This wont mean anything to any of you who live outside of Australia but my first car was a Mazda 121. Alot of people called them " the jelly bean car " because of its general design - just like me, nice and curvy! - but i still think it was cool. Of course, it was red ( because as we all know, red goes faster ) and aside from one of the back door locks getting stuck all the time, the Mazda totally rocked! I sold it before i went to the USA for a year and, oddly enough, i still see it driving around town. Some blonde girl who lives a few streets over from my brother owns it. Kind of makes me sad really. But hey, i have a little red Holden Barina now, so i'm not doing too badly...


So there we go - the " firsts " and " lasts " of one Miss Amy Wells. Its actually been kind of fun reminiscing on all this stuff - taking a walk down memory lane and all that. Hope you peoples enjoyed it as much as i have. If you didnt, well, sorry much to you. Not much i can do about it now, is there ?