2010: A Dreamworld Year In Review

Woowee - what a year! My first as a mama and as an engaged woman, its had its share of ups and downs. And what better what to put everything in perspective, in its place ( and the crappy things to rest! ) than with my annual wrap up of the year! Oh, and reminder - anything that is my " best " of the year is my favourite; anything that is " worst " is utterly crappy in my humble opinion. Agree or disagree, but dont argue the technicalities in the comments, ok?

BEST FILMS:
1. Sherlock Holmes - ok, technically this come out in the last week of 2009 but i was stuck in hospital with a newborn and didnt watch it til 2010, so it makes the list. Also, it features Robert Downey Jnr and i think its the general consensus that he is one of the coolest dudes in the universe.
2. Eat.Pray.Love - bah to anyone who's laughing at this choice! It was my favourite book of last year, so why would it be one of my favourite films this year? A little schmaltzy, sure, but its still appealed to my love of travel, of self-exploration and the romantic in me. Javier Bardem ? Delish!
3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Pt1 -  i only saw this on Monday but i loved it and i cant wait til the last film comes out next year. And no, i still havent read any of the books, though i want to. I think i'm gonna wait til i see the last film ( so i dont spoil the film series for myself ... ) and then read all the books...
4. Precious - oh.my.God. If you have not seen this film, go rent it now. Its certainly no light, fluffy, rom-com and it had me in tears more than once, but you need to see it for the strength of the acting alone. Its hard, and its harrowing, and its probably altogether to real for some people, but its a film that will stick with you.
5. Hot Tub Time Machine - awesome! I loved this film - this was funny in the way i was expecting " The Hangover " to be ( but it wasnt it ). Totally crude and juvenile but an easy, hilarious way to spend the afternoon, without having to think too much or make too much effort. What a cack!
Notable mentions : " Beneath Hill 60 "; " Iron Man 2 "; " Shutter Island "; " Alice In Wonderland "

AND THE WORST?
I have to go with " Cop Out ". Not that it was an awful film, only that i didnt watch a lot of new films this year, and the stuff that i did watch was pretty good ( you know, because i had to be selective with my time ). So this gets my "worst " nomination because the average/ok film out of a really good bunch. Sorry Bruce Willis.
________________________________________________________________________________

BEST SONGS:
1. " Whatta Want From Me? " by Adam Lambert - i love me some good pop and i think Adam Lambert has been one of the great pop finds of 2010. And he has in own thing going on without verging into total weirdo territory (  i'm talking to you Lady Gaga ).
2. " All My Life " by Thirsty Merc - i loooooooooooove this song. Its on the list to be played at my wedding. Sometimes, when i'm alone, it even makes me cry. A great Aussie band producing great Aussie music ( and it doesnt hurt that they hail from my hometown ). A beautiful love song....awww!
3. " Teenage Dream " by Katy Perry - Katy Perry annoyed me for a while when she first came out but the more i listened, the more i realised she had some really well crafted pop songs. Like this one - its sweet, it makes me feel young ( which i am, but young as in " before baby " young ) and it sums up the way i feel about my relationship with Mick. Another for the wedding dancefloor playlist.
4. " Grenade " by Bruno Mars -  this one was only released in the past month-ish but it is really damn catchy, and i l.o.v.e his voice. I also love the sentiment and the harmonies in the chorus. Oh, and the video clip. And his hair is ace. That is all.
5. " Forget You " by Cee-lo Green - waaaaaaaaah, i love this song! Its funky and upbeat ( despite the subject matter ) and hot damn it makes me wanna dance!
Notable mentions : " Love the way you lie " by Eminem ft Rihanna; " If its love " by Train; " Need You Now " by Lady Antebellum

AND THE WORST? "Only Girl In the World " by Rihanna. Sorry, but RiRi has majorly grated on my nerves this year, and everytime i heard this song come on the radio i switched stations. Too repeative for my liking and her voice is beginning to annoy me aswell. Bah! Oh, and also, anything by Ke$ha... yuck!
________________________________________________________________________________
BEST BOOK -  " The Hour I First Believed " by Wally Lamb which i already blogged about here. It was just an awesome, awesome read and its really stuck with me. If your a big reader and you havent already read this, get your hands on this. In fact, do yourself a favour and read anything by Wally Lamb - the man is in my top 5 favourite authors.

BEST TV SHOW - Aside from my unwavering obsession with " The Amazing Race ", i've really felt myself fall in love with  " How I Met Your Mother " this year. I've always liked this show, but the second half of this year i started to not want to miss an episode and it dawned on me that HIMYM is like the new " Friends". Ensemble cast, really funny but still poignant, and everybody seems to love it. And they especially love Barney, and even though its a bit of a bastard. Legen....what for it!....dary!

PERSONAL HIGHLIGHT - anything involving my son learning a new skill. But seeing as there are too many to choose from there, i'll go with the Tim McGraw concert back in September...good times with Mick away from our baby, dancing til our feet hurt and staying out late!

PERSONAL LOWLIGHT - breaking up with my best friend. I've already talked about it enough so i wont go into anymore details, but suffice to say it sucks arse bigtime, even more so because i really had no say in it, and even now 4ish months later i'm still bitter, and confused, and hurt.

And thats it ladies and gentleman! Tune in tomorrow ( or whenever i get around to it ) for my New Years resolutions. Wishing you all a happy New Year and hoing everyone gets to celebrate in style ( even if that means stained-tshirt, at home with the kids, eating dip and crackers with a West Coast cooler kind of style! ) tonight - pool party at the neighbours for us!

Ideas Have Consequences

While I was teaching a lesson last spring about how the eugenics movement led to the Nazi Holocaust, Kathy McDonald, an ed tech who worked in my classroom, called my attention to an obituary in the Conway Daily Sun for the late Walter Henry Berry, Jr. He and his wife had spent their childhood in the Laconia State School, which at the time had been run by the New Hampshire State Eugenics Movement.The obit showed a picture of white-haired, white-bearded Walter with his little dog, Goldie. Many local residents indicated on the Sun’s Facebook page that they remembered seeing them walking together on Route 16. Some of my students did too, and it made the lesson more real. Last month, they Googled the “New Hampshire Eugenics Movement” and learned that hundreds of NH citizens were forcibly sterilized at the Laconia State School. Walter’s obit didn’t say he or his wife were, but neither did it indicate they had any surviving children. My students learned also that Maine forcibly sterilized hundreds at Pineland Hospital in Gray.According to Wikipedia:

At its peak of popularity eugenics was supported by prominent people, including Margaret Sanger, Marie Stopes, H. G. Wells, Woodrow Wilson, Theodore Roosevelt, Emile Zola, George Bernard Shaw, John Maynard Keynes, John Harvey Kellogg, Linus Pauling and Sidney Webb. Its most infamous proponent and practitioner was, however, Adolf Hitler who praised and incorporated eugenic ideas in Mein Kampf and emulated Eugenic legislation for the sterilization of ‘defectives’ that had been pioneered in the United States.

In class, we studied ideas popular in America during the early 20th century and how they affected American beliefs about the beginnings of the universe, human life, and whether human life had meaning. I called student attention to correlations between Darwinism, eugenics, left-wing political movements and atheism. Most of those Wikipedia listed above were left-of-center, including Tennessee biology teacher John Scopes’ attorney, Clarence Darrow - an atheist who defended communists and anarchists. He was also one of the earliest members of the ACLU. Last month, National Review Online’s Jonah Goldberg posted some excerpts from the textbook Scopes used when he taught evolution in Tennessee. According to Goldberg, the passages had been cited by prosecutor William Jennings Bryan during the famous “Monkey Trial.”

The first passage was a boilerplate summary of Darwin’s theory describing how humans evolved from lower life forms. Teaching the other passages, however, would get John Scopes or any other teacher today in big trouble. Not because they’d violate any laws against teaching evolution, but because they’re blatantly racist - declaring the so-called Caucasian Race to be the epitome of evolutionary progress. See for yourself:

The Races of Man. – At the present time there exist upon the earth five races or varieties of man, each very different from the other in instincts, social customs, and, to an extent, in structure. These are the Ethiopian or negro type, originating in Africa; the Malay or brown race, from the islands of the Pacific; the American Indian; the Mongolian or yellow race, including the natives of China, Japan, and the Eskimos; and finally, the highest race type of all, the Caucasians, represented by the civilized white inhabitants of Europe and America.

After a boilerplate paragraph on natural selection, the text went into a frightening new area: “Artificial Selection.”

Darwin reasoned that if nature seized upon favorable variants, then man by selecting the variants he wanted could form new varieties of plants or animals much more quickly than nature.

Then came: “Improvement of Man.”

If the stock of domesticated animals can be improved, it is not unfair to ask if the health and vigor of the future generations of men and women on the earth might be improved by applying to them the laws of selection.

The text then describes generations of Jukes and Kallikaks - two families cited as “parasites” because of “feeble-mindedness and immorality” which the text considers genetic. That led to this scary passage:

Parasitism and its Cost to Society. – Hundreds of families such as those described above exist to-day, spreading disease, immorality, and crime to all parts of this country. The cost to society of such families is very severe. Just as certain animals or plants become parasitic on other plants or animals, these families have become parasitic on society. They not only do harm to others by corrupting, stealing, or spreading disease, but they are actually protected and cared for by the state out of public money. Largely for them the poorhouse and the asylum exist. They take from society, but they give nothing in return. They are true parasites.

And finally, came this chilling passage called “The Remedy”:

If such people were lower animals, we would probably kill them off to prevent them from spreading. Humanity will not allow this, but we do have the remedy of separating the sexes in asylums or other places and in various ways preventing intermarriage and the possibilities of perpetuating such a low and degenerate race. Remedies of this sort have been tried successfully in Europe and are now meeting with success in this country.

.
Walter Henry Berry, Jr. and his wife were victims of the above “remedy” of “separating the sexes in asylums or other places” at the hands of the New Hampshire Eugenics Movement. The Third Reich believed it was better to “kill them off to prevent them from spreading.” At the close of World War II the world saw in the Holocaust the logical, horrible extension of the “science” of eugenics. “Prominent” people stopped advocating it, but, one - Margaret Sanger - went on to found Planned Parenthood, which performs millions of abortions with billions of US taxpayer dollars. That organization today is strongly supported by prominent left-of-center Americans too numerous to mention.

Ideas like eugenics have histories - and, they have consequences for the lives of ordinary people.

Operation Slimdown - A Day Late. Again.

My apologies for the tardiness of my usual update - i had to get the letter to my son in first! In any case, i didnt really feel like writing an update anyway because...well... my results suck, ok ? We all had a feeling that would, what with a weigh in on Christmas Day ( of all bloody days! ) but still, they sucked enough to make me cry. In front of my parents, and Mick. Wah, wah, wah...poor fat me!

Let me explain. But first, lets go to the tape:
Bust: 97.5cm - up 0.5cm
Waist 82cm - no change
Hips: 103cm - up 1.5cm
Bum: 108cm - no change
Thighs: 66.5cm - up 0.5cm
See, that doesnt really look so bad considering the fortnight of Christmas parties ( and few days of, uh, that time of the month, which of course equals mega-bloating ) but, once again, those nasty, nasty scales have brought me undone. See, i only weigh myself on a Saturday morning, once a fortnight. However, this week i was at my mum and dads house ( i dont own scales... ) on Thursday afternoon and i couldnt resist taking a sneak peek. 74.8kgs - woo hoo! That was 800g down in a fortnight! I would totally be able to hit a full 1kg loss by Saturday morning! However....
Weight 11.12.10 - 75.6kgs
Weight 25.12.10 - 75.7kgs
I burst into tears - how could i have put on 1.1kgs in ONE DAY?!? It just wasnt fair - Thursday afternoon i was ecstatic about finally having a good loss, and then one day later that loss is completely gone and has turned into a 100g gain. I was shattered. I just cant wrap my head around it. And i'm sure that if i went and weighed myself again today, the scale would have something completely different to say again ( loss? Gain? who knows? )

So i guess i just push on. Try harder. The four days of non-stop eating over Christmas are now officially over and i know i can handle New Years Eve. I'm not back at work til Tuesday 4th of Jan so i'm going to try and fit in some exercise everyday this week. Establish some new, good habits. And then, maybe next fortnight, i will have that 1kg loss to report. I hope. Because i'm thinking if that doesnt happen the only way for me to shed the weight might be to cry it out. I could get rid of a kilo through tears...couldnt i?

Dear Flynn, Aged 12 Months - Happy Birthday!

Dear Flynn,
Well you made it, my gorgeous little man - as of 5:05pm yesterday afternoon, you are now officially a one year old. ( Which means that Daddy and I are now the parents of a one year old....which is kind of weird to say ). Over the course of your first year you have grown into such a beautiful little dude - and you are a dude, a wrestling, wrecking, crazy little boy right to your very core. Yes, i've seen you play with dollies, but 99% of the time its trucks or tractors or pulling things apart ( and making a big mess while your at it ). And you weren't ever one of those androgynous-looking babies either - it was clear to every random old lady who stopped us down the street that you were a little boy. See - you're a total dude.

Chowing down on some birthday cake yesterday - it got soooooo much messier after this photo was taken

You love your food and though i try not to let you eat too much i am starting to become convinced that you do, indeed, have hollow legs. And its not just how much you eat, but what you eat - i'm so glad you're willing to try pretty much everything ( you know, like gherkins, or olives or yummy, yummy prawns .... ).However, i'm concerned that by the time you turn 15 our groceries will cost us $1000 a week, just to keep up with your appetite. So, whats happened in the three months since my last letter ?

* You've totally mastered the whole crawling thing, and have progressed to pulling yourself up on everything and anything, cruising your way along the furniture. However, despite being awesome at the whole cruising thing, and very easily able to hold onto things with one hand and stomping those little feet, you havent started walking yet. I know its not really cause for concern but, let mummy be frank here, i think your just being lazy. I've seen you stand on your own - holding something in both hands, without holding ON to anything - and once or twice you've easily taken little steps behind your cousins dolly pram.... but when Daddy and I try to get you to take those first steps, you just giggle and squat down your little bottom. I know you can do, and i'm i know you know how to do, you just wont. I know i'll regret saying this later but hurry up and get your walk on little man!
* You're turning into a real little chatterbox. Sure, a lot of it is crazy, indecipherable baby-babble, but you have picked up some really great words, like " hello! " ( which is the first thing out of your mouth of a morning, and doesnt stop until you go to bed ) " En-nen " for when Aunty Erin is hanging out with us, or just in the last week Mummy has started hearing a " ank ooh " when I ask you for a " thank you ". Too cute!
* Lastly, but most importantly.... i can finally add "champion sleeper " to the list. Yes, since our visit to Tresillian back in October, you have kept on with the 11-12 hour sleep throughs overnight, and the 1-2 naps twice a day. This has not only allowed Mummy to get her sanity back, but it has also transformed your personality. You werent ever naughty before, but you were a sooky-la-la baby a lot of the time and, in retrospect, i know its because you were overtired. Now? You're a sweet, affectionate happy little man, who is happy to play with other little people without having to be attached to my lap, and who is laughing, and smiling, and gibber-gabbering more often than you are sooking.  Halle-freaking-lujah!

Oh, how i love you, little man. Daddy and I were talking about it the other night, and we just cant imagine life without you anymore. You are our sunshine, the love of our shared life, and our " little mate ".
Love ya guts little man,

Your very proud Mama.

Turkeys, Hens, Christmas Families and Beware Wise Men Bearing Gifts!

Once upon a time there was a little brown Hen called Jen. On the first day that Jen arrives at the farm she discovers that she is fed at 8am. Being a cautious Hen, Jen doesn’t jump to any conclusions. She makes a series of observations, and records what happens every morning, whether the day is a Monday or a Wednesday, whether there is rain or shine, and so on. Jen finds that whatever the day, or the weather, she is always fed at 8am. And so eventually Jen has collected enough data to infer ‘I am always fed at 8am’. Unfortunately, the day before yesterday was Christmas Eve, and Jen didn’t get fed…

…this is a seasonal tale often told by philosophy lecturers to their new students when discussing predictability and logic. Usually Jen is a turkey and not a Hen. Whether it is Turkeys or Hens, the moral remains the same. It doesn’t matter how much evidence we might accumulate about what has happened in the past, such evidence absolutely cannot provide us with any logical guarantee about the future.

Actually it was Bertrand Russell who is credited with the original telling of this story, and he did use Hens as his example. The contextual anchor of Christmas Eve is my addition to the story. Whilst Russell, a philosopher, mathematician, social critic and Nobel Prize winner, was an important contributor to our understanding of life, the universe and everything, it is his protégé Ludwig Wittgenstein who comes to my mind when thinking about Christmas.

Over Christmas people are often forced to spend longer periods of time together. Perhaps as a consequence of this, more than 1.8m couples in the UK contemplate divorcing their partner during the Christmas period. Relate, the UK's largest provider of relationship support, said the trend to start divorce proceedings in January follows a 50% surge in the number of calls over the festive period. Arguably, many of these problems have their origins in people’s early life experiences – and Wittgenstein was no exception.

Whilst he was undoubtedly a huge influence on philosophical thinking, his personal life and background were tortuous. He was born into one of the wealthiest families in Vienna at the turn of the century, yet he gave away his massive inheritance and first worked as a teacher and gardener. He was homosexual, at a time when homosexuality was not tolerated and three of his brothers committed suicide. Both Wittgenstein and his other surviving brother contemplated suicide too. His Father was a harsh perfectionist who it is said, lacked empathy, and his Mother was said to be anxious and insecure, and unable to stand up to her husband.

In 1908 Wittgenstein came to Manchester to study for his PhD at Victoria University of Manchester, staying at the Grouse Inn, near Glossop during this time. Clearly there was room for him at this particular Inn. What wouidn't be available to him however was any form of support for people struggling to deal with the stresses, strains and troubles of everyday life. Today, the Samaritans provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide. However, the Samaritans are also available to talk to everyone who is worried about something, feels upset or confused, or just wants to talk to someone – they can be contacted on 08457 90 90 90. 

Yesterday many of my family came to celebrate Christmas and we had a great time. Possibly we all ate and drank too much, but there were no disagreements or stress, just good cross-generational fun. It was lovely to see the expression on my eldest granddaughters face as she got her first bike and even the missing Brussel sprouts didn’t dampen spirits. From the early morning walk in the fields covered with snow to the last malt whiskey drunk before bed, it was a wonderful day.

Interestingly, my eldest daughter is called Jennifer, but yesterday she was constantly called Jen, even by me on one occassion! And as for Bertrand Russell’s Jen the Hen, she was probably right when she said, beware the [wise] man who bears gifts, after all, chickens are for Christmas, not for life! Enjoy the holiday, and live every day as if its the first day of the rest of your life.

Merry Christmas Ever-ree-body!

 Merry Christmas from the New Adventures household! And yes, that is my beautiful, handsome little man turned into a screaming banshee for his Santa photo. Luckily, the photos were taken by a good friend of mine in her private studio where she had more than one Christmas set up, so we did get some nicer shots. Like this one, which i have been using as my screen saver at work for the last few weeks:

 Still no smile, but much more angelic. And look at all his little chinnies! I'm raising a total chubba-lubba-bubba.... i swear the kid has hollow legs, he eats that damn much. But anyhoo....yea, we tried really hard to get Flynn to crack a smile for at least one of his photos. We did get this one:

Way cute right? Unfortunately we failed in getting him to smile and sit up straight at the same time. This is probably because he's a cheeky monkey and even at his tender age does naughty,cheeky things all the time. So there you be - a photo essay of Flynns 1st visit to Santa. Look at in the next few days for a chronicle of his 1st Christmas Day and then, two days later, his 1st birthday!

Bah Bloody Humbug!

In a show of very un-Christmas-ey spirit, a co-worker of mine made another co-worker cry today. How? He admonished her very loudly, in front of the rest of us and full view of any customers that might come in, for a simple mistake she had made. And it was a very simple mistake, one that could be very easily fixed and was not a big deal at all ( and that he made himself moments later because he was too busy fuming at her to pay any attention what he was doing ). Needless to say, the rest of us in the office were quietly appalled and, after we encouraged her to go for a walk ( disguised as needing someone to go to the bank... ) we told him so. How very rude he'd been, and how over the top his reaction was and, seeing as the girl in question is still in training, its not something he'll reallly needed to jump on her for. It was a simple mistake. We all make them, even though the rest of us have been here for years. The whole display was just uncalled for.


And why has this got so much on goat? Well, aside from its being Christmas, i just really have no time for people who treat people in that way unjustifiedly. Sure, if she'd done something that was going to burn the building down or coast as millions of dollars then yea, maybe jump up and down and throw a tantrum at her. But something that cost nothing, destroyed nothing, and took one 30 second phone call to fix? There was just no need. And the worst part is that we had an ex-manager who spoke like that all the time, only her little tirades were always directed at HIM..... so i guess the proverbial( managerial) apple doesnt fall far from the tree. All those years of him getting roused on and saying how much he hated it and the first chance he gets to be in the training role and he does exactly the same thing. I had to pull him up on it - tell him he'd become the monster, so to speak - and you know what he did? He spent the next 40ish minutes hiding in the kitchen, upset, while the rest of us got on with it and did our work. How.Bloody.Frusturating.

Luckily, today was my last work day of the year so yippee for me! No more part-time office politics just sweet, sweet family time and a chance to relax for a while. But i tell you what - if i hadnt already given this guy a Christmas card, he would totally be off my Christmas list! Bah humbug to him!

An event out of your control sent you,
Your brotherhood made you strong
For your country's freedom you've fought
So in this Holiday season
Which leaves you so far from home
God Bless you, our soldiers,
and bring you safely home.

20SB Blog Swap 2010!

Good morning (afternoon, evening, night... take your pick ) and welcome to the 20 Something Bloggers Blog Swap for 2010! I was crazy enough eager enough for a bit of blog-swapping action to sign up this year even though a) i had no idea who i would be swapping with and b) not a clue what we would be asked to write about! But it all worked out in the end - todays post will be brough to you by a lovely young lady named Bell, a brave 20-something who is chronicling her move to the big city ( the big city being New York! ). You can find me over at BellDuJour while Bell will be hanging out here today. What is she posting about? Read on....

“Action – What Will You Do Next Year That You’ve Been Putting Off For Too Long?”

I’ll be honest; when I signed up for the 20SB Blog Swap I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into. The irony of it all is that it may be one of the first ‘actions’ I’ve taken.

I made a big, big change in my life in 2010 when I moved from a small town in Massachusetts to New York City. With one carry-on suitcase I settled onto my friend’s couch and started work here September 1st.
After a few weeks on her couch and two months in a tiny sublet I moved into an apartment in Harlem with a co-worker who has become a dear friend of mine.

Sigh of relief. With somewhere to live, I feel lighter and somehow more alive. With the boulder of worrying about finding a roommate and a home off my shoulders I can breathe easier. Being able to leave work and go somewhere that is mine, and feels like home, is indescribable, especially in comparison to living in the sublet where I was uncomfortable and unhappy.

I now have a lot more time to be myself. As I decorate according to my own tastes and watch my home come together as an extension of my own personality, I’ve found myself thinking more and more about why I’m here and what I want to accomplish in my time in this city of opportunities.

I dabble. I sing. I sew. I write. I bake. I decorate. I speak French. I’m late for everything.

Ok that last thing isn’t really a skill. It’s more of an anti-skill.

I don’t like that I dabble. I’m not a jack of all trades I’m just someone who knows a bit about a decent amount of things. What’s that going to do for me?

I want to speak French mieux, I want to learn to play guitar so I can put my words to music and play at open mic nights. I want to be able to sew all the outfits that I think of but can’t find/afford on commercial racks. I want to be a better journalist and writer. I want to learn about photography. I want to learn more about journalism, and photojournalism. I want to learn to speak Italian and Portuguese. Buongiorno! I want to explore, and experience all I can no matter where I am. I want to arrive early for things, instead of really late. I want to see a show, check out new restaurants, go to museums. Problem is, I don’t really have anyone in New York City that would want to do that with me. Or I already spend 40hours of my life with them. I want to stop being afraid of going out and doing things alone.

My roommate was confused when I told him I was scared to go out and check things out by myself.
“You moved to New York City where you didn’t know more than one person, and you’re afraid to go to the museum by yourself?” It’s funny the way he puts things in perspective for me.

The thing is, none of this will happens unless I take action. If I don’t get up and get out, I’ll always be scared of it. Steps, whatever they may be, need to be continuously taken or I’m never going to succeed at learning any of these things.

I’ve wanted to learn to play guitar for almost seven years now. For seven years I’ve been thinking and wishing and dreaming and not doing. So, what will I do next year that I’ve been putting off for too long?

Move.

My mother bought me a guitar for my birthday. Last week, I bought a guitar book.
I have a sewing machine and I’ve made clothes but I don’t know the basics at all. I signed up for a sewing class.
I want to learn about photography. I bought an SLR. Scratch that, I traveled alone all the way out to Queens to pick up an SLR I found on Craigslist (in a public place). First trip alone.
I want to write more, so I started the 30 Days of Truth List and signed up for this blog swap.
I want to be healthier, more fit. I have a gym membership - but anyone who’s made a New Year’s Resolution knows that doesn’t mean anything.

2011 will be a year of moves. I’ve laid the groundwork, now it’s up to me to keep moving. Get up, get out.
Stop talking baby, move.

Getting Crafty With My Bad Self!

So do you remember how i mentioned i wanted to make Flynn a Santa sack for Xmas? Yea, well - i've done it! I'm finished! Now bearing in mind that a) i dont own a sewing machine so i had to pain-stakingly hand sew everything, and b) i havent done that much hand-sewing since Yr 12 of high school ( which will be 10 years ago next year....crap, where has the time gone?! ) ... well, knowing all that, i think i've done a pretty good job. Judge for yourself:

There it is, the finished product. Not everything is perfectly straight, and if you had a look on the inside the stitching is pretty shithouse wonky, but hey, you know what ? I'm pretty damn proud of myself! I set myself a goal, i did something that i havent done in ages and never anything as tricky as this, and all without a sewing machine or even a pattern. Go crafty me go!

Only thing is, Mick wants one for himself now and with only 5 more sleeps til Xmas its just not going to happen. He'll just have to wait til next year!

360 degrees Later, Blood, Sweat, but No Big Mac or Tears

Trauma, intrigue, small p politics, and the triumph of expectation over experience might be the best way to sum up my experiences last week! The week was a hectic diverse and challenging one.

The University has been running a Leadership Programme for its senior leadership team. One of the activities that have occurred recently was the completion of something called a 360 degree review. Essentially, this was a task that involved asking our managers, peers and those that know us, to make a judgment on what they considered to be our strengths and weaknesses when it comes to leadership. I had asked 16 colleagues to become involved in providing this information on how they saw my leadership style, behaviour and approach. The result of their assessment was given to me this week. It was an interesting mixture of views, but taken as a whole, can only be described as being highly authentic! On reflection I see my colleagues responses as being somewhat of a mandate to continue the processes of change and transformation that will get us to where we need to be as a School in 2017.

One of the best parts of the week for me was the day spent with a great bunch of young people who had agreed to give us their time to talk about their experiences of being in care, receiving care or as a care giver. These were powerful stories to hear. The stories were confidently presented but the emotionality of the telling of their experiences touched all in the room. It was almost painful to hear how so many of these young people, carer’s and cared for, had been let down by the system set up to provide for their health and well being.

So it was with no little discomfort that I realized the following day that we had provided lunch for the young people without thinking about their wants and needs. The Brie and sundried tomato sandwiches might have alright for us, but I had the sense the young people would have preferred a Big Mac. The Big Mac is a burger sold by McDonalds, (the fast food chain, not MacDonald’s the hotel chain). In fact the Big Mac is one of the best selling burgers of all time - over 47 billion have been sold, with some 550 million sold every year, which is a lot of cows.

Interestingly, I did have a delightful meal this week where the starter was Black Pudding. Now as regular readers will know, I am a vegetarian, so what was I doing eating a dish that is fundamentally a blood based food? Indeed, when I was 15 years old I bought into the urban myth about students who used their own blood to make a substantial and sustainable food that was called black pudding. My black pudding however, was made of soya, coloured with beetroot juice, and was delicious.

Blood has also featured in other ways this week. I had a conversation with our VC during which I found out the University has in its archives, a wealth of material belonging to Bob Dylan. Bob Dylan holds the number two spot in the Rolling Stone 500 best albums ever chart – he was second to the Beatles who had 11 of their albums in the chart – Bob Dylan had 10. Occupying three of the slots in the top 20, it is the album Blood on the Tracks (16th) released in 1975, that will forever be one of my favourite Bod Dylan albums. Unlike his earlier work, which was based upon the politcal and protest, these songs were unusually autobiographical in nature and tell the poetic tale of Dylan and his (unknown) lover.

Of course back in 1975, in common with all my friends I could see all the plots and subplots represented in each of the tracks. But perhaps like, Levi-Strauss, who in 1966, used the analogy of the artist who produces an object created on canvas, which does not exist as such, and yet is open to all kinds of interpretation, I was simply discovering new possibilities or understandings about what the songs might mean.

However, there was no doubt about the unacceptable organisational unpleasantness I witnessed this week. Frustratingly, there was not a lot I could do to help except be there for those concerned, and to say whilst there might be blood and sweat spilt, seize the moment and going forward its unlikely there will be any tears!

Finally, a new record was set yesterday morning for the time spent clearing my drive of snow. Some 10 inches of snow had fallen overnight on Friday/Saturday morning. Where the snow had drifted in the wind, it was much deeper. It took five hours to clear the drive. I started at 7am, and by 9am there were six of us working on clearing the snow. We finished at 12 noon. Plenty of blood and sweat – (and if truth were told), tears were spilt as having cleared the drive, by 12.10 the snow returned and laid down another 1 inch. Only seven days left till Christmas!

Ice

Out checking the properties I manage on Kezar Lake - my Saturday routine. No snow yet but lots of rain, then strong wind blew in some Arctic air. Water levels came way up on the Saco River and raised Kezar Lake's as well. It froze, then receded, leaving interesting formations of ice suspended above the water's surface.The sun was bright, so water and sky were very blue. I wasn't in a hurry, and I took time to look.Where a strong northwest wind blew hard on an eastern shore, ice formations got more jumbled.Nothing was amiss at the properties, so I could enjoy my perambulations and notice the beauty that's always around.Afterward, I went down to the Saco River to see if the rain had exposed any artifacts where Indians hung out for four thousand years or so. Only found a few chips from tool-making activity, but the water level had dropped even more along the Old Course of the Saco. Sun and cold acted nicely together on the ice there. Reminded me of those tasseled hats Mexican dancers wear.In one place it tipped somewhow.

Choppy, Choppy!

Sick and tired of my son's ultra fluffy, skater-boi shaggy, baby hair.... i took him to get his first hair cut yesterday morning.

Witness Flynn's hair before the hair cut - cute, yes, but see all those fluffy, sticky-uppy bits? He had those on the top of his head, on the back where he was growing himself a nice little mullet and occasionally it would stick out from behind his ears. It had to go!

Getting the first few snips off - he had to sit on my lap because our hairdresser doesnt have a child seat.He was a little wriggly and kept looking up at Sally ( our hairdresser ) as if to say " Who are you and what are you doing to my head? ". Oh, and you cant really see it but he has a cool dinosaur on his cape.

Cracking it right towards the end. I think the crying was less about having his haircut and more about the fact he was well and truly ready to get off my lap and crawl around. Typical boy - he doesnt like sitting still for too long!

The end product. Because sister is a) a bad photographer and b) a bit dopey, she neglected to take any photos of his beautiful face, so you'll have to make do with a view from the back. Suffice to say, my beautiful baby is now looking more like a gorgeous little boy. He was pleased to see the fluffiness go, but was a little sad to see Flynny transformed from baby to boy in the space of 15 minutes. And only 10 days til his 1st birthday...my baby is gone forever!

Magnify: to extol; glorify

I've been thinking a lot about how Mary must have felt when the angel came and told her she was going to give birth to the Messiah. It would having been scary enough having an angel appear in front of you but to have one show up and tell you you're going to have a kid, who by the way is the Savior of the World. Can you say mind blowing?

Mary accepted this with such grace though. She asked one question. "How can this be, since I am a virgin?" (that's a pretty big question but it's a lot less than I would have asked.)

The angel explained that the Holy Spirit would come over and she would conceive and give birth to a son, For nothing is impossible with God. I don't know that I could handle this like Mary did. It would be wonderful to be used by God in such a way but it would be tough because people would not believe a story like that.

"Yeah an angel came and told me that I'm going to have a baby and he's going to be a Messiah."

Would you believe that it a friend said that to you? I wouldn't. I can't imagine how Mary's family took that. In the Bible, it even said Joseph was going to secretly divorce Mary. Mary took this all in stride. Despite all the ridicule and speculation she went trough, Mary praised God. Saying, "My soul doth magnify the Lord!"

I pray that I may be able to do just. No matter the situation, no matter the calling God gives to me. I want to be able to say, "My soul doth magnify the Lord."

SNOW!!! Well....this is ice in the pictures.

Understanding Beginnings

One of the first homework assignments my students get is to ask their parents three questions: “How did everything (the universe) begin?”; “Where did humans come from?” and “Is there meaning to human life?”. For those who answered yes to the last question, there was a follow-up: “If so, can you explain that meaning in one sentence?”

Answers vary. Most are classic like “the big bang” and “God created it,” to explain how the universe began. Also classic were understandings of where humans come from such as the Darwinian: “They evolved from lower forms of life,” to the Judeo/Christian/Muslim: “God created them.”

Answers to the third question about whether life has meaning included a simple “No” for several parents. Each of these had answered the first two questions with big bang and evolution, though others who had answered thusly did believe there was meaning to human life. Some of their answers included: “Become the best person you can be”; “Live life to the fullest“; Do as much good as you can,” and “Help others.” All who believed God created the universe and humans also believed there was meaning to human life. Answers were predictable and tended to be variations on: “To do God’s will”; “To make it to heaven”; “Love one another”; etc. Afterward, I ask students to answer the questions for themselves. As expected, students’ answers reflected parental’ beliefs, but not in every case.

Ideas have consequences. How people of any culture understand the beginnings of everything affects their outlook on other things, and American thinking was constantly changing throughout the twentieth century. Darwin’s theory of evolution, Nietzsche's “superman” (Ubermensch), “will to power,” and declaration that “god is dead”; Marx’s about communism, revolution, and atheism as well as Sigmund Freud’s concepts of human psychology, all had profound influence on 20th century US History. Debate over policy between groups of Americans with differing beliefs about the above ideas follows often-predictable patterns right into the 21st century, especially about the role of government and the influence of religion upon it.

Ideas also have histories. Many thoughts in the minds of my students originated in other minds centuries and millennia before they were born. Conflict between ideas often results in conflict between individuals, between groups, and between nations. World War II, the Cold War, and today’s war with Radical Islam cannot be fully understood if not in light of such ideological conflicts.

The textbook we use: Prentice Hall’s “American Nation” was the most widely-used in America when I chose it ten years ago. It’s boring and it has has a liberal bias, but the others I had to choose from were worse. The flip side is that my lessons can seem interesting by contrast and my bias is opposite that of the book. The text contains several paragraphs about the then much-publicized Scopes Trial in 1926, during which Tennessee biology teacher John Scopes was charged and convicted of teaching evolution instead of creation. Eighty-four years later, the issue is still contentious in American public schools.

Mine are not science classes. I’m not teaching evolution or creation. My lessons are that ideas in human minds lead to behaviors which are beneficial or destructive at different times and in different ways. Ideas bring out the best and the worst in people when they’re propagated and when they’re repressed or resisted.

There was a time when I considered my thirteen and fourteen-year-old students too young to understand any of this, but I underestimated their capabilities. Not only can they comprehend classic ideological movements and conflicts, but that comprehension enhances their understanding of other aspects of history, economics and civics by providing an intellectual framework upon which to organize their understanding of disparate events in 20th-century US history. And, most like learning about them. I return to these ideas at various points in my 20th century US History curriculum.

It’s satisfying when my students offer me fresh perspectives on classic arguments. Many have been smarter than I am over the years as they grasp these concepts for the first time in their young lives. Their minds are less cluttered with bias and political correctness than those of adults and they ask very interesting questions. It’s exciting to be reminded of when I first chewed on these ideas and learned the nomenclature necessary to converse in them. The old becomes new again as I observe students jousting with one another in the arena of abstract thought.

Operation Slimdown Tuesday

Hello again, and welcome to the results week of my sort-of fortnightly updates. First though, a word on how the week has gone - which is, to say, alright i suppose. I had two really great exercise sessions in which i sweated up a storm ( seriously, i dont think i've ever sweated as much as i did at last weeks Zumba... ) and i ate pretty healthily all week ( until Saturday nights Xmas party for Mick's work ). So yea, all was good. However, after really sweating out a Zumba i felt myself really missing the gym. I loved going to the gym - i went up to 6 days a week - and i loved pushing myself on the treadmill especially. However, i cant afford gym fees and somehow i cant find the motivation to run on the street. I think i liked the numbers game on the  treadmill - the knowing exactly how far i had run, how fast i was going, being able to set an incline or a program to run to, pushing myself to run just for one more song on my Ipod.... i cant replicate that on the street. And i feel weird jogging through my neighbourhood, especially seeing as i am waaaaaaaaaaaay unfit at the moment and can only manage the old " run to one lightpole, walk the next three " type of session. Ah well, perhaps that a goal for a later date... Anyhoodle, on to the numbers!



Bust - 97cm - up 0.5cm
Waist - 82cm - no change
Hips - 101.5cm - down 1cm
Bum - 108cm - down 0.5cm
Thighs - 66cm - down 1cm
Weight - 75.6kgs - down 200gms
So....nothing too spectacular there, but as my dad said " a loss is a loss". Well yea, but that didnt stop me pondering ( once again, silly woman ) why things are moving so slowly for me. Even when i get a good result with the measurements, the change in my actual weight is miniscule. Bah! And, somewhat oddly and crappily, my next weigh in and measurement is due on XMAS DAY. I mean, who is going to weigh themselves on Xmas Day, after two weeks worth of Xmas parties, rich food, and little exercise? Me - thats who! My goal for the next two weeks is to do enough work that i get a "loss " result on Xmas Day. Even if it is only 100 gms, i will consider that a win for this time of year. Wish me luck!

Check Out The Smoochiness!

Oh yea, thats right - i got one thing off my to do list!

I found this great little template on the Microsoft website, downloaded, added the sweet smoochy picture, changed the background and voila! - Save The Date cards. Sadly, i forgot that they were formatted to be a 5x7 size and got them printed as 6x4's ( which meant that the text at the bottom got a teeny, tiny bit skimmed off the edge... ). But, seeing as they arent actual invitations, i'm not going to worry about re-doing them and have stashed them in with the Xmas cards to be mailed tomorrow. I figure putting them in one envelope saves on paper, and on postage. Oh yea, i'm a tight arse eco-warrior!

So thats one thing ticked off. I'm halfway through Flynn's Santa sack - which i'm hand sewing because i dont have a sewing machine - and only have one Xmas present to go. Way to work Amy! Ooh, and i found a make up artist for my wedding who'll do my makeup for free . Again with the tight arse-ery. Turns out its kind of awesome when one of Mick's workmates wives is a beauty therapy teacher at TAFE and is also an awesome lady who offered to come round and do my makeup, as a favour from a friend. Your awesome Ange! And that is all...now, if i could only manage to get all the washing on the room of our floor, washed, folded and put away...

Good Golly, She's Great!

Wow - i've been lax with the posts so far this month havent i? And i have no excuse really except to say that i  havent really been inspired by anything much lately... til now. I found some inspiration, and she goes by the name of Holly.

You can find her over at Good Golly Miss Holly! and if you arent already reading her, you should. Seriously, go check her out - she's funny and candid and she's a mama who rocks! But aside from that, why is she inspiring the blogger in me? Because not only did she buck up and find the courage to lose her vlog virginity, but she decided to make her first ever vlog about post natal depression.

Lets face it - thats a tough subject to write about, let alone to sit and talk about, straight down the webcam to your loyal reader/viewers. The girl has balls ( well no, not literally, but you know what i mean... ) to choose that particular subject, which so many of us find confronting. And not only did she go with PND as a theme, but she spoke about it with such composure and grace... i would have been a blithering mess, and my brush with PND was minor compared to many others. And with that 4ish minutes of webcam honesty, i found a new inspiration and motivation to blog. Thanks Holly!

Now all i need is some tips on how to make my blog awesome-er. Is there anything you like and want to see more of? Anything you think i should be doing? Do i need a blog makeover? Make-under?

A Long and Winding Road Taken and One Still to Travel

Last week was characterised by performance, a brief encounter with a youthful experience and the challenge of intellectual debate. Monday was a day full of meetings, some of which were difficult and had outcomes that some would not have wanted to hear.

The day ended with an open meeting at which, colleagues and external partners could attend to hear some wonderful examples of research and innovation from across the University being presented. Despite the cold, it was -6 outside, there were over 60 people in attendance. The only down side to the event (at least for me) was the showing, yet again, of the University Research DVD – I still find it slightly disconcerting to see a 15 foot high projection of myself describing the research we do.  

Tuesday started with yet more meetings and then I had the chance to present a report on the outcomes of the recent REF Impact Pilots to the Units of Assessment Advisors. I think the sheer amount of work required to get us prepared came as a surprise to many of the participants. It was however, a very productive meeting and raised a number of issues that we will have to come back to. At lunch time, I had my last Editorial meeting with my Nurse Education in Practice colleagues. After four years of involvement on the editorial board, I am leaving the Board. I will retain an International Advisor role, so will still be able to influence the direction of what is one of the best international nurse education journals. Thanks Karen for the opportunity.

The day ended with the latest in the Professorial College presentations. This sessions talk was given by Sharon Rushton on Place, Text and Memory. Sharon made a superb bid for having this work recognised as the 7th University wide theme. The fact that she mentioned our School in her presentation was very generous and perhaps reflects where the relationship between our respective Schools has got to. I think a great future of productive collaboration is assured.

Wednesday started with a meeting with the Schools Students Union Sabbatical Officer Caroline – always a pleasure, this meeting was particular good – Caroline has such a refreshingly grounded view of the world – we did however talk about the march planned for that afternoon in opposition to the proposed increase in annual students fees. Unlike the demonstrations in London, the march in Manchester was trouble free.

Our celebration of five years of service user and carer involvement in the work of the School followed. It was great, a real family celebration, and thanks to  Martin (VC) and Neil (NHS North  West) for coming and supporting our work.

Senate followed, and the VC mentioned the celebration in his verbal report. It was some welcome recognition of the work many colleagues have put into developing these relationships over such a long period of time. I spent the remaining few hours with my mentor and by 22.30 on Wednesday I had clocked up 40 hours work (and that was just the time spent being at the University).

Thursday was spent catching up on my writing, and despite the email interference, it was still possible to get some work done. A draft of a paper with Mikko et al revised and sent off, a 3rd draft paper with Sue and Joanne, revised and prepared, ready to send off to the publishers, which looked at the ethics of mental health nursing, and a quick look at a draft paper with colleagues from Ireland, Richard and Liam.

Friday was our School Development day. The first hour was School Congress. We decided that on this occasion we adopt a Pecha Kucha approach to allowing people to get their points across. Pecha Kucha (Japanese for chit chat) is a form of communication that allows people 20 power point slides, which get shown for no more than 20 seconds each (a total presentation of 6 minutes 20 seconds) and which uses images as the preferred way of communicating. We had six tremendous presentations, (although we might need to work on the timing). The ‘serious’ part of the day was looking at the impact of the recent changes to Equality Legislation on the activities of the School. Many thanks to Lis who led on our examination of the issues involved and presented a very understandable analysis of the main changes to the law.

However, in the afternoon, as we started to look at the issues in detail, and  the discussion unfolded, it seemed to me that some of thinking that may have so often held us back as a profession  is still there, despite much rhetoric to the contrary.  The catalyst for our discussion were the changes we need to make in moving away from being a recruiting School to a selecting School. We anticpate having some 6000 applications this year and that is after raising the entry requirements. In the ensuing conversations it was still possible to hear the somewhat romantic notion of a nurse as an Angel being defended. This notion was was presented in terms of widening particpaton, and arguements that for some people, not having good academic qualifications wouldn't prevent them from being a good nurse.  The latter is possibly true, but such  notions are the demons that plague our profession. Who can forget Gordon Brown, the former UK Prime Minister addressing the RCN shortly after the death of his daughter by thanking the nursing profession for the help they received as a family:

‘So we feel like parents who have been in the presence of angels dressed in nurses' uniforms, performing the most amazing works of mercy and care, and I will never forget seeing in real time every minute of the day that idea of service and selflessness. I am here with Sarah to say not just thank you from our family, but thank you from millions upon millions of families’.

I had to leave the School Development Day early than I had anticipated – and I have since heard the discussion was very good - but later on as I reflected on what I heard, I was reminded of the story of Eva O, (of metallic death rock and punk music fame) who in the middle of her career, and as a result of her somewhat complicated relationship difficulties, wanted to write a dark concept album about angels. During this time, Eva began searching the literature on this subject. Her album was initially entitled Angels Fall for a Demon's Kiss. At first she read only the literature that approached the subject from a new age point of view and finding this one dimensional view limiting, Eva decided to look for more traditional sources and incredibly read Billy Graham’s book entitled Angels. After reading the book, Eva rewrote the album, subsequently entitling it Demons Fall for an Angel's Kiss a somewhat subtle but important shift in perception.

In a crowded and busy world it is easy to see how we can convince ourselves that taking the easy path to change is the right course of action, even if this means not changing.  There is still a long way to go in developing our profession, and I believe we need to constantly find ways of addressing the issues that hold back this development - but at times this can be a hard and wearying task. At the end of a busy week, I briefly experienced that sense of weariness. As I was just about to leave for the weekend, I stood for a moment in quiet contemplation in my darkened office, and wondered if I (and my demons) were in danger of falling for an Angels kiss. However, as I sit and write this blog, the new week beckons. Like last week, it will be full of many opportunities to take things forward and perhaps in so doing, will enable some of those demons to be banished!