"..For whatever is in your heart determines what you say."

That's Matthew 12:34. Jesus said that. And of course it is very true.

I was reminded of that verse a couple of weeks ago in youth group. We were playing this game where you had to talk for thirty seconds without saying "um," on a given subject(it's harder than you think. You should try it sometime). Well I was the Junior representative for the game and my subject was what I wanted to be when I grow up. I proceed to talk about what I wanted to be and how looking for colleges was kind of hard and stressful and how they all could look forward to that and so on and so forth.

I had never had my heart revealed to me like that.

I was so bummed and shocked when I realized that I'd let my heart be filled with all this stress and worry. I just assumed that when I "gave" things up to God that it was all good. But (as I've done many many times) I didn't give it all up. I gave up enough to get me to sleep at night.

God knew I needed a wake up call and he used me spilling my guts in a silly game to show me that he wasn't the center of my heart anymore. He knew I was going to drive myself bonkers if I didn't see that I had all this stress pent up in me. And he was right. He always is. He's got my future all planned out. He declared, "I know the plans I have for you."

That verse is used a lot. It's such a great verse but I think we don't take it as we really should. We think, "Oh God's got a plans for me!! That's great. I'm going to sit here and help him work it out." At least I think that (a lot). What we don't think is "God's got a plan for me and he's going to use me as he wants me to, to do what he wants me to." We think we're the co-pilots and we're not. We are along for the ride to the destination God has for us.

It's a strange and hard idea to get used to. Everything in us wants to figure out and plan out and imagine out how everything's going to be. We say I'm going here. I'm doing this. It's going to happen there. Every detail is stressed, worried, planned, set into motion, and then is lost because it wasn't what or how God wanted it to be.

I don't say that to make it sound like God is a dream squasher or plan crusher. He's not. He'll listen to your plans and then he may say "Yes," to them. He may say, "No," to them. And he may even say "Wait." <-- (That's the hardest one.) In the end God's way trumps all. He's God. He knows all and can do all. Whether or not we let him lead us willingly into his plan or we stumble over our own and have God's (greater, bigger, better) purpose revealed to us, is the key.

Hope this helps you.

Later.