Prick Me Once....

Dear YouKnowWhoYouAre ( and if you dont you ought to ),

What happened? I know what you tell me happened - you said that i " changed ", though you couldnt pinpoint where or when. You said that i became different, the sort of different that you didnt like; that i started becoming arrogant, like i was better than everyone else. Thats what you say, anyway. Truth be told, i think your husband has been in your ear - i always liked him, i thought he was a great guy, but after our little episode i now think he's not a nice person at all.

So tell me the truth - did your husband convince you of my supposed transformation, or was it a conclusion you came to yourself? And if it is something you personally witnessed, could you please let me know when, and where and how? Because even now, more than a year after you confessed how much you didnt like me anymore, every word you said still hurts because i still have no idea what your talking about. Best as i can understand is that around the time i came out of the black cloud of depression i developed more self-confidence - i wasnt just the sad clown, funny-but-single best friend anymore. I had found a little personal happiness, something i was proud of and wanted to boast about. I was overcoming my demons and i wanted to shout that to the world. I would have thought you would have been happy about this, ecstatic that i'd found some kind of inner peace - instead, i think this is the "arrogance " you ( or he ) are referring to. I wasnt just content to sit in the background and be only your personal cheerleader anymore.... i was being the leader of my own cheer squad for a change. Maybe, just maybe, this left you out of my limelight for a little while and YOU DIDNT LIKE IT. You know, not being the centre of attention.

We have a strained relationship now, and its killing me. We both have little bubbas and we had always said that our children would be like siblings. Not so much. After your outburst, which i took with a grain of salt and without airing my own grievances with you ( not that i had many, and those which i had were so insignificant when compared with what i perceived to be the depth of our friendship... ), we still catch up but only once every month or so; if we run into each other in the supermarket its polite chit-chat about our babies and how busy we are, not a " hey, lets grab a coffee! " like before; and your husband barely says hello, let alone sits and has a conversation with me like we used to do. I'm sure he looks down his nose at my fiance, because he has a better, higher paid, better educated job, because you two are married and we are not. If anyone thinks they are better than anyone else, it is, dare i say, your hypocritical husband.

This has needed saying for a while, and rather than say it to you and risk the immediate end of our friendship, i've chosen to release my hurt to the virtual universe and let our relationship run its natural course. Whether it sinks or swim may be out of our hands and in those of the Fates, all i know is i've done all that i can to help it limp along and i'll be damned if i'll let it be dragged down by more ill words. Will you do the same?

Yours - hopefully,
Your ( Former? Probably. Seems Like Thats How You Want It ) Best Friend.

An Important Victory

So - i've had a muy crappy weekend. Our roadtrip to Mick's brothers didnt go too badly, but Mick spent the majority of his time out in the yard working on his car alongside his brother, my SIL had all her housework to do, and they live in a town in the middle of nowhere ( population approximately, umm, about 35 ) - consequently i spent all of the weekend with Flynn attached to me and four other small children asking me 10 million questions and getting right up in Flynns face. Oh, and dont forget the ( continued ) stomach bug that saw me spend quality time with the toilet, the sore left boob which isnt co-operating with the whole weaning thing and feels like i have a leaking brick in my bra, and the fact that i havent had time to shave my legs for two weeks which is making me feel decidely unfeminine.

But forget all that - today is a new day, and the start of a new week! Which, after last weekends fever that saw me take Mr Flynn to the hospital ( over 39 degrees after Nurofen, diagnosed as a viral infection... ) and subsequent week of irritiability, clinginess and only going to sleep if someone was touching him ( which means he was back in our bed again ) means.... the reimplimentation of Project Sleepy-time. I'd call it OST Mach 3, but it isnt really Mach 3 - its the same thing i was doing before, i just need to get Flynn back into the rhthym of it, after his bad, bad, BAD week. And i've won an important victory - i've managed to get him to fall asleep in his own bed for his nap this morning, and it only took 2 attempts and a combined 1 hour, 10 minutes to do it! Hurray for me! I'm hoping that means his afternoon nap will be a little easier, and that he'll get the hint and sleep in his own bed tonight. Last night was so not comfortable with two small feet in my back and the aforementioned swollen,leaking, brick boob in front.

And thank you to the few of you who offered suggestions for breaking my bloggers block. I've taken them on board and will probably blog about all of them. I'll need to think for a while on a few of them ( ahem, that means the guide to Australian-ness Paula ) and there is one that is long overdue.
Yes, an update on Operation Slimdown has been a long time coming. Truth be told i've been putting it off because the whole Operation was not having much success. However, after a few weeks of Zumba class i've noticed that my pants are fitting more comfortably and hell, after the weekends stomach bug, i may just have lost a kilo or two down the toilet *....

*TMI ? Yes. True? Probably. The only postive to contracting a stomach bug? Absolutely.

Here's a passage about love. You've probably heard it several times and I've posted it as well. I really love (tee hee) this passage of scripture.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages* and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

And now read this verse from 1 John.

But anyone who does not love, does not know God, for GOD IS LOVE.

1 John 4:8

Now read the passage from 1 Corinthians with GOD replacing the word love.

GOD is patient and kind. GOD is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. HE does not demand HIS own way. HE is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. HE does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. GOD never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But GOD will last forever!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Isn't that cool? It's such a great feeling to know God is and does all those things. A friends of mine shared this with me this morning and thought it was so cool and so true.

I hope you enjoy.

4.7 +1, Cochlear Implants, and that NEW NMC Poster

Whilst I am not a great advocate of self diagnosis (albeit I can see the value and drawbacks of pathologising everyday life), this week I finally admitted that I had possibly joined the ranks of the 4.7 million people in the UK who have tinnitus. Tinnitus is a condition where an individual experiences ringing, whistling, buzzing and humming noises in the ear. These noises can be incessant and constant.

Interestingly, tinnitus is not a disease or an illness, it is a symptom generated within a person's own auditory pathways. Although it is often assumed that tinnitus occurs as a result of disease of the ears, the precise cause of tinnitus is still not fully understood but is usually associated with some hearing deficits. There is a widely held misconception that tinnitus is confined to the elderly, but as I am only 55, I am not convinced this is the case.

However, in comparison tinnitus is a nothing more than an inconvenience to those people who have to live with some form of hearing loss, or who are completely deaf. Nearly two out of three Britons with hearing loss feel socially isolated because of their condition, according to a new survey carried out (bizarrely) by the high street options Specsavers (is there such a thing as a seeing ear?).

One in ten of the 700 people surveyed by Specsavers said they would not wear a hearing aid due to the stigma attached to it. As such trying to cope with the effects of beginning or becoming deaf can leave individuals feeling lonely, isolated and even depressed.

So it was good this week to hear [sic] OK SORRY! about the UK’s first operation to fit a single cochlear implant to radically improve the hearing of a women. She is aged 44 years old and  has been deaf from birth. The operation took place on the 27th August. A cochlear implant is an electronic device that can help both adults and children who have a severe to profound hearing loss. The device uses small electrical currents to directly stimulate the hearing nerve, which then sends signals to the brain where they are interpreted as sound. The device will make it possible for the woman, from the Isle of Wight, to hear sound – in BOTH ears.

That the UK’s first single cochlear operation took place is thanks to the hard work of the South of England Cochlear Implant Centre at the University of Southampton (yes that’s right Mr Willetts, this ground breaking, life enhancing development came from a University).

In terms of ground breaking, this week has also seen me working with one of my colleagues on a poster for this year’s NMC Conference. For those who don’t know, our School was awarded earned autonomy in this year’s NMC Review of the Quality of our pre-registration programmes. The Mental Health programme was awarded 4 goods and 1 outstanding. The outstanding citation was given in part, for the work the School has achieved, under the leadership of my colleague Naomi Sharples.

Naomi is our irrepressibly enthusiastic Director of Mental Health and Learning Disability Nursing. For over a decade she has worked at making nurse education and training accessible for people who are deaf. We remain the only School of Nursing and Midwifery in the UK that provides such access to nursing programmes. Naomi is currently studying for her Professional Doctorate focusing on Empowerment through Education. The poster we have been working on is brilliant (Naomi’s experience captured in words and pictures – under my award winning artistic direction). However, the poster is not to be unveiled until late September – but watch this space.

Friday Flip Offs Time

Time again for Friday Flip Offs, brought to you by Gigi over at KludgyMom. Seeing as i'm not feeling to good tonight, lets make this quick:

To whatever bug i happen to have right now - my stomach is aching and is tied up in knots. I have not appreciated having to run to the toilet umpteen bloody times today, on top of only having 2 hours sleep last night with a fussy baby-child. Also, the muscle pain in my back and legs is not doing me any favours. I have to take a 3 hour roadtrip out to my brother-in-laws tomorrow so if you could see fit to bugger right off overnight ( otherwise we'll need to stop at every dodgy rest stop in every small town on the way, which would make it more like a 4 hour road trip ... ) that would be great. Take your germy, bug-gy self and FLIP OFF!

To the blonde girl in front of me at Zumba -  you're lucky i didnt grab you by your ponytail and kick you up the arse. You werent a "young " girl so you should have known better but pointing and laughing at the lady with Downs Syndrome at the front of the class is so not cool. So what if she isnt totally co-ordinated or in time with the instructor? She's there, she's having fun and she's giving the whole Zumba thing a go, so i say good on her and spit on you for being so juvenile as to make fun of her with your friend. Grow the fork up, wipe that stupid grin off your face, do the class with a semblance of maturity or FLIP OFF!

To the weather - seriously, you could fine up a bit? Three weeks of constant rain and/or cold weather is dragging me down. I cant take Flynn out for a walk, i have to run my heater all day which is costing me big monies in electricity bills and i just want to be able to get some sun on my skin. Next week is the official start of spring so take the cue and get your sunshine on. Rain, cold, wind - FLIP OFF!

Feeling So Blahhhhhh.....

I have totally been hit by bloggers block. And my timing couldnt be worse - just as Blog This! has me as a featured blogger and i've totally run out of things to say. ( If you're visiting here from Blog This! i'm not usually this dull. Please check back next week and i promise i'll have come up with something ). I mean, there are a few rant-ish type things i could say but i'm saving those for Friday Flip Offs, and a few things happening with Mr Flynn but i dont much feel like doing a Mummy post this week.

Which has left me with nada. Bubkiss. Zilch. So i'm turning it over to you - what do you want me to write about ? Are there any burning questions you want to ask me? Give me a hand here people!

America In Retreat

America is losing ground, literally and figuratively. For decades, I’ve taught young people how the United States was born - and how it expanded to the configuration on the maps I use to teach - the lower forty-eight with Alaska and Hawaii scrunched in alongside. The maps don’t indicate how tenuous our hold on the territory within that familiar shape is becoming, but it’s getting weaker. That’s ominous - not only for us, but for the whole world.In spite of several warnings not to, I drove to the Mexican border in Nogales, Arizona last June, right after school got out. (See previous articles here and here.) Ordinary people I met in Tucson told me it was dangerous down there, but I went anyway and stopped when I got to the pathetic border fence where I pulled over and parked on a Monday afternoon. Half the signs were in Spanish. Hispanic men were sitting in groups of three or four on the sidewalks watching me get out of my car and walk around. The first several people I tried to talk to didn’t speak English - and I was still in the United States.I walked into the Nogales Historical Society next to a pawn shop. The man behind the desk in the office didn’t speak English. Another man came in and he didn’t speak English either. Exhibits favorable to Mexican bandits and revolutionaries proliferated.Seeing a McDonalds on a hill nearby and knowing they had wifi service, I drove up. Nobody spoke English there either and it was surrounded by a chain link fence topped with razor wire. Remember, I was still on the US side of the border, which I could see from the parking lot.Private homes in the area had bars on their windows.Those, and the security fence reminded me of traveling in the West Bank three years ago.

I left my car and walked across into Mexico. There were no clerks to challenge me, just a one-way turnstyle because nobody tries to sneak into that godforsaken country, and no wonder: A week later 21 people were massacred just 12 miles away. I didn’t feel safe in a country where the government is as corrupt as the drug lords. Two blocks in was a hotel outside of which were heavily-armed soldiers guarding government officials meeting inside. After an hour of being accosted by men selling viagra and prostitutes, I turned around.

I stood in line for another hour looking at pictures of Barack Obama and Janet Napolitano, waiting to get back into my country. I showed my passport, walked back across, then drove up International Street alongside the pathetic border fence where overworked US Border Patrol Agents in white-and-green pick up trucks drove around frantically trying to catch the thousands of illegals who jump over it every month.One told me to get out of there because it was “too dangerous.” I asked if he needed more help from our government to control the border, but he got nervous and referred me to his superiors at headquarters.

Last week, CNS.com interviewed Cochise County Arizona Sheriff Larry Dever, who said: “And you frankly have Border Patrolmen--and I know this from talking to Border Patrol agents—who will not allow their agents to work on the border because it is too dangerous. Now what kind of message is that for crying out loud?”

Indeed.

Also last week, Jim Couri reported at familysecuritymatters.com that: “On the heels of Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents' 258-0 ‘vote of no confidence’ against their superiors, U.S. Border Patrol agents [in Tucson] are slamming President Barack Obama's administration - especially Attorney General Eric Holder.”

US National Park officials are warning Americans about the danger of Mexican drug smugglers inside the US. Arizona Governor Jan Brewer said most illegal aliens are smuggling drugs.

Just the other day, An 18-year-old American woman was kidnapped in Texas, taken across the Mexican border and held for ransom. “U.S. authorities did not contact their Mexican counterparts because they did not know whether they were corrupted or connected to the girl’s captors,” San Juan, Texas Police Chief Juan Gonzalez said.

Drug cartels see America full of addicts and their own country in anarchy. Peasants see America as paradise with free medical care and education, and their own country as non-functioning. Our government and Mexico’s “government” pretend all this isn’t so. Working together, they pretend Arizona is the problem for trying to protect itself from invasion by millions of violent foreign drug dealers and illiterate campesinos.

The violent anarchy that is Mexico is spreading north, enabled by our federal government. We’re losing ground. Most of our fifty states are effectively bankrupt or chafing at escalating power in Washington. Some are talking nullification - even secession. We’re in danger of boiling over.

America saved the world from fascist and communist dictatorship in the 20th century and it’s the only obstacle to the chaos of radical Islamic terrorism in the 21st. Our enemies, however, no long fear us.They see us as a paper tiger governed by a president who apologizes for our past greatness while running us into bankruptcy.

We’re losing ground on many fronts.

That’s ominous for us - and for the rest of the world as well. Who else but America has the courage and the might to keep chaos at bay? The UN? After us, the deluge.

Meet Me...

.... over at Blog This! Thats right, this week I am the featured blogger over at Blog This! so head on over here at check out my feature interview ( and the way cute picture of me and Flynny ).
Also, if you're an Australian blogger and you dont yet belong to Blog This! consider joining up. If you've been a follower of my blog for a while you'd have noticed that i do a Blog This! challenge almost weekly - its fun, and its an easier way to beat bloggers block. Plus, there is always the chance that your post will win in the weekly poll. Sure, you dont get any physical prize, but you get the honor of knowing that people loved what you wrote.



I'm a Blog This memberinspiring and connecting with Australian Bloggers.



So thanks for featuring me Blog This! and thanks helping make my blog what it is...

God.

Jesus looked at them intently and said, "Humanly speaking this is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God,"

Mark 10:27

I'm so glad to serve a God who does the impossible! There is nothing he cannot do. He can create life and sustain it. He can part the Red Sea and lead 4 million people across it on dry land. He can raise the dead, heal the sick, give sight to the blind, protect the troubled, give rest to the weary, he can do anything and everything. I'm so glad to serve Him!

Breakfast, Misunderstandings, Men and the Origins of Nursing

Over the last three years I have had some interesting meal time conversations with some of the most remarkable and influential nurses in the UK and beyond. The Council of Deans of Health meetings have provided many of these opportunities. I was reminded this week of a breakfast I had at such a CoD meeting with one Anne Marie Rafferty. Anne Marie is the current Dean of the Florence Nightingale School of Nursing and Midwifery, King’s College, London.

She gained her qualifications at some of the most prestigious educational institutions in the world. Her research interests combine history, health policy and health services research. Not only has she written much in this area, but she has and continues to make an influential contribution to the development of policy across a wide range of areas affecting nurses and nurse education. By any measure she is an extraordinary person. I remember being impressed that over breakfast our conversation was entirely normal. We talked about shared issues we faced in managing our respective Schools, the state of nurse education as well as some personal conversation around families, what it was like to live where we did and so on.

Anne Marie was in the news last week. As part of the 100th anniversary marking the death of Florence Nightingale, Anne Marie reported upon why nursing is not a career choice that many of today’s young people would consider. In a study of 1000 18 year old students it was revealed that the modern-day nurse is misunderstood by the majority of youngsters. Many did not know nurses are authorised to give patients medicines and can also prescribe them. Other areas the students had misconceptions about were pay and career progression - just 6% knew nurses could earn up to £100,000, while only 25% were aware they could rise to consultant level.

However, some 20% of the students in the study (and they were studying different academic subjects), said they were more likely to opt for a career in nursing after hearing of the skills and opportunities involved. This was in a week that has seen many Universities experience problems in dealing with many more applicants for places than there are places available. In our School we have seen applications for nursing programmes rise year on year by 10% over the past four years. Next year we are predicting some 6000 applications for 680 places. However, some 70% of the students that study with us are 25+ years old and often have a family, and have chosen nursing following experience in other areas of work. Predominantly these students are female.

This last point is also interesting as this week the Nursing Times reported upon a survey undertaken with 84 acute trusts, half of which had foundation status. The survey revealed that male nurses are twice as likely to hold a top job in England’s leading hospitals. Men make up just fewer than 8% of acute nursing workforce, yet hold just over 11% of the Director of Nursing posts. This situation is blamed upon the ‘business ethos’ these roles involve which is said to deter women from applying or being picked for these top jobs.

I am not so sure. Partly I think the gender imbalance is due to women still being largely responsible for other roles in society such as bringing up children, and the realities of child care can make juggling the demands of such senior roles very difficult. I do agree however, with the view that has been expressed by Caroline Waterfield of NHS Employers Service who suggested that it wasn’t that there was a 'glass ceiling' for women, but rather that 'there isn’t a glass ceiling for men'. Interestingly, the study revealed that the gender imbalance was less pronounced among primary care trusts. But as PCTs will be abolished from 2013, this could lead to many senior female nursing leaders being made redundant.

Finally, given the Florence Nightingale anniversary celebrations, and the continued debate about nursing careers and gender imbalance at a senior level that in the first nursing school in the world only men were considered 'pure' enough to become nurses. This School of Nursing was started in India in about 250 BC. The Charaka states these men should be, 'of good behaviour, distinguished for purity, possessed of cleverness and skill, imbued with kindness, skilled in every service a patient may require, competent to cook food, skilled in bathing and washing the patient, rubbing and massaging the limbs, lifting and assisting him to walk about, well skilled in making and cleansing of beds, readying the patient and skilful in waiting upon one that is ailing and never unwilling to do anything that may be ordered.' An interesting thought as we prepare our new curriculum.

Friday Flip Offs - Again

Hello again reader people. Welcome to Friday, and therefore, Friday Flip Offs, brough to you by Gigi over at KludgyMom.

To teeth - you are just not nice. I'm not talking about to me ( i already have my teeth ) but to little Flynny. He's been teething again the last few weeks and you hadnt been too bad but today? My poor little fella had a fever, bright red puffy cheeks and went off his food. What he did eat got thrown up again. He's in bed asleep for the night now - or part of the night anyway - so you had better be nicer to him in the morning. Ideally, you should have broken through by morning or you can just FLIP OFF!

To my mattress -  i dont think i like you anymore. I used to love you - LOVE you. Being snuggled up in bed, either reading or asleep, was the best place to be on a rainy afternoon. But lately you've changed, and i'm tired of waking up with a sore back and/or sore hips. Its not cool, mattress, not cool. Tomorrow Mick are going to flip you over and hopefully that will work and you'll be my old, trusty, comfy mattress again. If you're still no good after the flip? Well you'll just have to FLIP OFF!

To the family day care carer that i called today - i rang regarding a place for Flynn to go when i got back to work. I gotta say, you didnt impress me. I didnt like your tone when you said " well, listen , i only work til 4pm " ( i need care til at least 5:15pm ) and then you said my son is going to have to conform to YOUR sleep routine? Yea, apparently babies with their only sleep routines aren't convenient to you, and he'll just have to learn to have one nap a day, starting at 12 noon, and he'll need to stay asleep for 2 hours. WTF? I thought part of the family day care philosophy was that you try and stick with the babies own routines as best you can and, aside from that, why would i risk screwing up the rest his routines annd night time sleep, just because you want to eat your lunch and do bookwork at the same time every day. Uninterrupted. Sounds to me like your in the wrong job. And, by the by, if you finish at 4pm you can do your bookwork when the kids go home. Because of our 5 minute phone call, i'm not even going to bother with a face to face interview. You're not the right carer for my son so you can just FLIP OFF!

Lamb - and Zombies?

So - i'm not sure if i've mentioned this before, but i love reading. I love being able to sit down after my dinner, after Flynn has gone to sleep, after Mick and I have caught up on each others days, and get in half an hour with a good book. When i had my time entirely to myself, i was known to be able to curl up with a book and finish it over one weekend. I'm not sure where i got this love from - my mum doesnt read much and my dad keeps professing ( tongue in cheek ) that reading and books are stupid.

All that aside, i just had to tell you about the last two books i've read - neither are remotely related, but both were entirely awesome. First up we have " The Hour I First Believed " by Wally Lamb:

I'd read Wally's two previous books - which is what recommended me to this one in the first place - but i wasnt quite prepared for the emotional shock to the system this book would have on me. Its uses the real life event of the Columbine High shootings as the cornerstone of one mans search for what is " real " in his  life - facing the lies of his past, the pain of his present and the unknown of his future. I'll admit that the last few chapters of this book had me in tears and i dont remember any other booking ever having that physical effect on me before. The weight of the themes in this book was heavy indeed, but left me feeling so much lighter for having shared the protagonists journey.

In contrast, i've just this morning finished " Pride and Prejudice and Zombies " by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith.

                                                            

This was too awesome. The original " Pride and Prejudice " is the quintessential literary classic that everyone feels like they should read, or should have read, or has lied about reading ( truth be told, i've read it, own it and love it ) so when i finally got the chance to read this mash up of classic Austen and zombies, i jumped at the chance. Verdict? Its like the original " Pride and Prejuice " only blood-thirstier. Which is to say that it retains all the charm of the original story, the same witty banter between characters, the same fiesty tomboy-ish Elizabeth and same haughty Mr Darcy - only most of the characters are trained in martial arts and kill the undead in their spare time. Far from detracting from the original story, i think anyone who has attempted Austen's version and found it too " old fashioned " to get through might enjoy this zombified version, and might want to give the old version a second shot. And whats even better ? I hear its being made into a movie!

So what about you all? Are you big readers, and can you recommend any good reads?

The Tissue Issue

It’s fashionable to be “green” these days, among liberals at least. Advertisers pick up on it to make products and services seem as green as possible. Given that man-made global warming is being exposed as a hoax with fudged data in British and American universities, NASA, and the UN, I’m wondering how long the fad will last.

Two years ago, pop singer Sheryl Crow showed clips from Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth” on her concert tour and insisted we could save the planet by using only one sheet of toilet paper per visit, “ . . . except, of course, on those pesky occasions when two or three could be required.” I can’t help but think that attempts to use just one sheet would be the main cause of “those pesky occasions,” but I’m one of those conservatives the Green People think don’t care about the environment and like to pollute it every chance I get because I like drinking dirty water, breathing dirty air, and using too much toilet paper, so what would I know?

Remember that Gore is the guy who, as a US Senator, restricted each American toilet flush to two-and-a-half gallons, so now toilet paper doesn’t go all the way down after you flush. It just swirls around and stays in the bowl - an inconvenient flush, you could say, because we have to wait while the tank slowly fills up and try again.

When Al Gore and Sheryl Crow insist that global warming is caused by human activity, they sound like Chicken Little and Henny Penny squawking “The sky is falling!” Nonetheless, I don’t want to get in the way of any students who wish to comply with Crow’s recommendation. The problem is that toilet paper at my school is on continuous rolls about twelve or fourteen inches in diameter and not perforated into individual sheets. Students and teachers must reach into the bottom of the dispenser, grab hold of the end of the roll, pull down a length of tissue, then pull up and to the side so the sawtooth edge of the dispenser severs the piece for use. If the one sheet Crow wants people to use is four inches long, it would be nearly impossible for students to pull out only that much and tear it off. It would just shred in their fingers and make for an inconvenient wipe.Luckily we have award-winning custodians in my school and I put the problem to them. Could we possibly perforate the big toilet paper rolls by drilling into them? They furrowed their brows and scratched their chins as they considered my tissue issue. They could drill a set of holes across the paper from the outside in so it would rip off in perforated sheets they said, but the ones toward the end of the roll would become ever smaller as its circumference steadily decreased with use. Those tearing off sheets at the end would find them so small that one sheet couldn’t possibly suffice for the task at hand no matter how fervently they wanted to save the planet. Steadily decreasing school budgets may, however, solve the perforation problem. Students in Ireland and Hawaii are now requested to bring their own toilet paper and we can ask our students too.

Meanwhile, Sheryl Crow is still, as our Hawaiian president might say, all “wee-weed up” over toilet paper. Last week, she wanted only recycled toilet paper dispensed at her concerts. I don’t know if she’ll allow people to use more than one square if it’s recycled, but she specifies that it has to be “post-consumer recycled toilet paper and paper towel” and that leaves me wondering: Does she mean some consumer must have used the toilet paper before her concert-goers use it? If so, how does it get recycled? Is it pulled up from a septic tank and reprocessed? I don’t like to visualize that so I’ll assume it’s from some other sort of “post-consumer” use, like an already-read newspaper or something.

Readers should keep this in mind should Crow ever decide to do a gig here in the Maine/New Hampshire area and you get what folk singer Tom Rush might call “the urge for going.” If it’s an outside venue, I suppose people could pick a leaf off a low branch and use that for a real greenie wee-wee.

To Boob Or Not To Boob?

That is the question. See, i think the days of sharing boobies with my beautiful, hungry bubba are coming to an end. Flynn just isnt showing much interest in boobies anymore ( unless you count the lingerie sale ad that played every ad break for like a week - his head snapped to attention every time that ad came on. Typical male ). Thats right - we're weaning here in the New Adventures household, and i think i have mixed feelings about it.

He's already got the perfect Vegemite eating technique downpat...

We started our mushy, messy adventure into solids around 3 months ago so breastfeeds have been steadily decreasing for a while. From birth, my boy had been a big lover of the boob - it was 2 hourly feeds during the day, and one or two at night, depending on whether he woke or not. That was equivalent to around 10 a day. I was firmly in dairy cow territory - it felt like a baby was permanently stuck to my breast and i was never, ever, ever going to be able to get him off or be able to go anywhere alone, ever again. Now? My little boy is having 3 meals of solids a day and usually 3-4 milk feeds. Only two of which ( on a good day ) are breastfeeds. After 6 weeks or so of trying, I've finally managed to get Flynn to take a bottle. A bottle you say? But i thought you were so pro-breastfeeding Amy? Well yes, i am, but the need to return to work ( and i mean need - if my bank account weren't hovering so close to a zero balance i would love to stay home... ) means i can't breastfeed during the day, and the decline in breastfeeding means i cant express enough booby juice - so its a formula bottle feed, twice a day at the very least. Happily, my community health nurse informs that he is now old enough to start drinking cows milk, so i dont have to buy expensive formula anymore!

So - i'm not sure how i feel about this whole weaning thing. I wanted him to start taking a bottle, needed him to do it so we didnt have any difficulties when we started daycare, but i didnt think he'd so easily drop his prior enthusiasm for booby-time. On one hand i love, love, love that it means i can have a little independence back - that i can have a morning sleep-in now that he doesnt need a breastfeed upon waking; that i could leave him with his Grandma and Poppy so i can have a haircut/eyebrow wax/go to the movies, without having to worry that my 2 hours of freedom before the next breastfeed is almost up; that i can spend the day at home with him without feeling like his own personal milk machine.

On the other hand, i'm going to miss the intimacy of breastfeeding. I love being able to look down at his fat little hand resting on my booby, his chubby little belly snuggled into me, and wondering at what Mick and I have created. I've found that i'm trying to keep that closeness while he has a bottle - i lean down and kiss his head, or stroke his arm or tickle his feet. I'm going to relish my freedom no doubt, but i'm going to mourn for that close breastfeeding bond.

So we're pretty much down to one, long, proper breastfeed a day - which happens to be in the middle of the night. When Flynn starts sleeping through again ( which i'm praying for ) that feed will be gone too. My baby is growing up! So how about you guys  ladies? How did you feel when your bubbas left the booby?

Decisions

I've had to make some big decisions these past two weeks and it's made me realize how much I dislike making big decisions. The little things like deciding what I'm having for lunch, what I'm going to wear, what time I'm going to leave, things like that I can decide just fine and not second guess myself. I never thought I'd be wishy-washy when it came time to make a major decision but as it turns out...

I've been involved and playing keyboards/strings in the adult praise band at church for about seven years. I've played pretty much every Sunday since then, getting to practice at 8 on Sunday mornings, playing two services, staying for practices every Wednesday night. Until late this summer I'd enjoyed or hadn't minded playing but then I just started realizing I'd rather be at DQ with my friends after youth group or I'd really like to be in Sunday school. Then a thought whispered in my head "It's time to give it up." I didn't understand how I could but the thought wouldn't go away.

I'd been thinking this over for a few weeks and decided to talk to my parents about it and they agreed that it was time to step down. With my course schedule for the school year, the music lessons I'll be taking, and the fact that the youth minister has challenged the older girls to step up and mentor the younger girls it was just too much on my plate. Besides I'm going to be an adult for the rest of my life and I'm only going to be in the youth group two more years.

Regardless of the pros I had for stepping down from praise band I still didn't want to do it. I waffled and was all wishy-washy for a long time. I didn't want to step down and then people get all bent out of shape with me and I didn't want to stay in and be miserable every Wednesday night when I'd rather be at DQ. I just didn't want to rock the boat any more than I had to.

As you can see this is not a decision I wanted to make. I loved both options the same, I did not want to choose.

Finally, my dad stepped in and called the music minister and explained my dilemma and said that I needed to step down. In other words my dad saved the day and opened up the subject in a way that didn't sound like me just being a teenager wanting to back out so I could hang out with my friends (even thought that was a part of it). The music minister understood and agreed that my focus should be on the youth. That sealed the deal. I would be stepping down from adult praise band. All I had to do now was choose when.

"Great!" I thought. "Another big decision to make." And another I didn't want to make. I had no clue whether to do two weeks notice or wait until the end of the month, or something along those lines. I asked my parents and they told me I had to talk to Joseph (the music minister). I really didn't wan to do that, but I did and this is somewhat what it was like.

Me: "Hey, my dad talked to you about me stepping down from praise band and I..."

Him: "Yes he did and I totally understand and agree. You do need to just be a youth. The question is when and how you'd like to do that. It's your decision."

Me: "We"ll I don't know... I was thinking maybe two weeks notice or..."

Him: (this is what got me) "Don't be wishy-washy. Decide. And go with that decision. Do you just want to go cold turkey?"

Me: (still reeling form the wishy-washy thing) "Yeah I think that'd be best."

Him: "Alright then."

We talked a little more than that of course but that was the gist of it. I went into practice and explained to a couple of people and left. I was in shock. No doubt about it. It was such a weird feeling. I've never felt so much grief over a decision. I doubted every step I took away from church that night. But I can tell you that peace did come. Through prayer a several people telling me that I made the right decision. I even had a friend of mine tell me that he had thought the same thing (that I just need to be a youth) for a while but just didn't tell me.

God has been my rock through this. I know it was him whispering that idea to me and him not letting me push it aside. I can already see him working through this. I'm already getting a heart for the seventh grade girls in my youth group and I've never felt the need to reach out to a class like this before. God is just that good and so much more. He's never going to be wish-washy. He's got a plan for all this. And he's going make it happen whether you go willingly or not so willingly. I don't mean that in a bad way either. God's way is always best but it's not always easy.

This verse really helped me through these past weeks and it's such a good promise to cling to.

It's Deuteronomy 31:6

"Be strong and Courageous.

Do not panic before them.

For the Lord your God will personally go before you.

He will never leave you nor forsake you."

Picture: That's my youth group, what I get to be a full part of now. :)

Well I hope you enjoyed this and that maybe it will help you.

Later.

The Gift of Life?

I'm just going to put it out there : organ donation. Will you or wont you? It seems like organ donation has been a hot topic in my little sphere the last few days, and it prompted me to thinking.

So will you or wont you ? For the record, I am on the Australian Organ Donor Registry as wanting to be an organ donor in the event of my death - i'll donate everything but my corneas ( which face it, arent all that good to me, so they arent really going to be much use to anyone else). Heart, liver, lungs, kidneys... whatever i have that will help, they can take. I might save one life, or half a dozen; all i know is that i'm not going to need my organs where i'm going ( wherever that may be ) so i'd like for them to help someone else live a good life. So, my mind is pretty much made up on the subject - in regards to myself. What got me to thinking was a Facebook status update from one of my friends, saying that everyone in her family was on the Registry. She confirmed for me, yes - even her kids. Her kids? She'd already made that decision? I wondered if i could do the same.

My son is only 7 and half months old - i dont even want to entertain the idea of having to give his organs away. In truth, i dont think i could i do what my friend has done. I dont think i could make that kind of decision without being in need of HAVING to make it. And, if i'm honest, i dont know that i would be able to give the doctors a "yes" if, and when, they asked.

Its fine for me to be happy to donate my own organs, but somehow its different when considering my baby. I know that theoretically my gorgeous son would be helping to save the life of another beautiful baby, someone elses pride and joy. But i dont know whether that thought would outweigh the idea of my baby being disected, his body being desecrated in someway. That might sound drastic, but i think thats how my mind would work, in that kind of situation. However, i wont know for sure until i have to walk in those shoes. Hopefully, i never will.... unlike my parents. For those of you who are not long time readers of this blog, let me elaborate: i had a younger brother, who died Christmas Eve of 1989. He was almost 2 years old, i was almost 6. He was struck, very suddenly, by menigitis and there was just no time ( and no resources in our country town ) to do anything to save him. My parents said no to donating his organs. I do not judge them in anyway for that decision. I know that my brother could have helped save the lives of a handful of other infants, but my parents could not, in the cold light of day, face the thought of having their little boy " chopped up " ( my fathers words not mine ). So, until i face something similar, i reserve the decision of donating my sons organs ( though not Micks - he has chosen not donate ) for a later date.

I like to think that my friend there on Facebook has made a brave decision, but somewhere in the back of my mind i cant help but think, in regards to her children, it may be a little rash. So how about you? Do you intend on donating your organs, and have you made those intentions clear to your loved ones?

Damn You YouTube!

A short note - due to the fact that i told Mick that watching videos on YouTube is entirely free, but did not explain that every video of a tractor pull that you watch adds to our download limit, we are now already over said limit for the month. Why am i telling you this you ask? Firstly to warn you about the evils of YouTube ( although it is also, simultaneously, entirely awesome and thats why you get addicted to it in the first place ) but also to let you know that if i post less in the next two weeks, or comment less on your blogs, it is not because i've fallen into a black hole. No, it is only because my internet connection, having gone over its 3MB per month limit, is now subject to " slowed connection speed " which means i may lose patience with how long it is taking for your page to load and just give up.

Now, please enjoy this picture of a tractor. I may direct Mick to my page and he can stare at this picture as long as he likes, instead of watching endless video of tractor races...

A Level of Qualifying Ones Position, and the Monkey Puzzle Dinosaurs

It is the time of the year when thousands of young people will be excitedly, hesitantly, or fearfully be awaiting their A Level results. University places, future careers will all depend on these results. It is also the time of the year when the Media will loudly consider the value of A Levels, and whether they really are as tough as they were last year, 5 or even 10 years ago. With the economic situation impacting upon employment opportunities and increasing competition for a diminishing number of jobs, getting the best qualifications would seem to be life critical.

For a variety of reasons this week I have been looking at a number of job descriptions and job specifications. I have been surprised at the range of qualifications that are deemed either essential or those seen to be merely desirable. Academic related roles (lecturers, researchers and so on) seem to demand higher levels of qualifications than say managerially related roles (administrators, professional support staff and so on). Many Universities’s now demand that all teaching staff have a PhD and a teaching qualification before they will be even considered for a position. Yet, this week, I have also seen senior University managerial positions where the only essential qualification is a first degree.

At a time when the nursing profession is preparing for an all graduate profession at the point of initial registration, I find this inconsistency in the value given to qualifications for different but equally important roles frustrating and somewhat depressing. It is a bit like the inconsistency that still exists between the exhortations to strive towards only evidence based practice and the often non-existent evidence based approaches to management and policy making that is characteristic of much of the public sector.

In complete contrast to this depressing situation, it was refreshing to see how the work of Kath Eccles and Gill Lomax has helped make the town of Blackburn and the surrounding area with the lowest level of diabetes-related limb amputation in the UK. These two ‘Foot Nurses’ developed the Blackburn Boot, a pressure relieving cast used to protect ulcerated feet, reduce inpatient stays and prevent further damage. In a brilliant TV interview these two highly engaging nurses employed by East Lancashire NHS Trust, talked about their work with passion, insight and intelligence.

Unfortunately this is not always a universal phenomena. Who can forget that dreadful soap opera originating from the US (where else?) called ‘Passions’. Screened in 2005, this programme featured an orang-utan named Precious in the role of the private duty nurse of one of the programmes characters. The show produced by NBC only lasted 18 months, but every episode reinforced the often media induced poor public image of the work of nurses.

This Saturdays Telegraph reported on our own BBC’s wonderful programme on Dinosaurs. The article discussed not the NBC type dinosaur, the poorly qualified University manager or even those such as Tyrannosaurus Rex or a Plesiosaur, but a much older form that goes by the mellifluous name of Araucaria araucana, better known to gardeners as the monkey puzzle tree. Having survived millennia in many parts of South America, it is now officially one of the world’s most threatened species, and in need of conservation.

I have a wonderful specimen of a monkey puzzle tree in my back garden, which I really like…

Friday ( the 13th ) Flip Offs

Thank Gawd its Friday - and thank Gigi over at KludgyMom for Friday Flip Offs, that wonderful end to the week where we get to rid ourselves of all our frusturations and annoyances, just in time to enjoy the weekend!

To the cold that developed from last weeks sore throat - screw you man. I told you last week that i knew you were coming and i wasnt too impressed about it, yet you showed up anyway. Because of you i've been snuffling and sneezing and coughing all week and now Flynn is a little snotty-booger too. Oh, and we also had to miss swimming on Monday for the second week in a row. So not happy Cold. So not happy. Why don't you take your disgusting germy self and just FLIP OFF!

To the friend who sent me a text at 10:38pm last night - thanks for waking me up. Apparently you did not remember that i am the mother of a 7 and half month old that has decided it is now time to change sleep patterns and is now waking up 4 times a night - AGAIN - and that, thusly, i need to go to bed early. Also, you apparently thought i would want to see another photo of your arse. Umm, no. So not only did you manage to wake both me and Mick up but it wasnt even for anything important. And the worst part was i'd gone to bed at 9:30pm and had only just managed to get to sleep when you texted me - and then it took me another good 45 minutes to get back to sleep. So i didnt actually get to sleep til around midnight, Flynn woke briefly at 1:15am and then wanted a feed at 3:30am, and wanted to get up for the day at 5:30am. So whats that? About 5 hrs sleep? Which is more than some mums get but if it hadnt been for you, dear friend, and your fishnet clad arse ( thanks for the image by the way ... drinking before you went out, huh ? ) i could have had 6 hrs sleep. Take your stupid photo and your stupid late night text and FLIP OFF!

To the book i borrowed from the library on Wednesday - i managed to read your first 8 pages and then.....i decided you suck. Normally i'm willing to read at least the first chapter but not with you. See your cover appealed to me, and your blurb made you sound interesting, but in those first 8 pages you made so many references to various characters and concepts in your imagined mythology that i was put off by it. You get what i mean? If your going to be a fantasy story - you know, in the vein of, say , " Stardust " or " Harry Potter " you need to either ease your reader into the intricacies of your fantasy world, or write yourself a prologue that explains at least the basics. Just launching into King This, Prince That, this shadowy political entity, that ancient circle of magic blah blah blah.... its just off putting. So, i've put you down after 8 pages and its back to the library with you where you can FLIP OFF!

Frusturations out. Happy Friday the 13th people!

Moving Forward

No, this is not a post in regards to Julia Gillards favourite campaign slogan.*
Rather this is me venting frusturation on behalf of little Flynn and myself. See, my little man has never really enjoyed tummy-time - he downright hated it for a while there - but for the last two or three weeks he has regularly been launching himself onto his belly from a seated position. There he'll lie, on his stomach, legs and arms a-flailing, getting frusturated by the second because, as of yet, he can;t do much else. He can straighten his arms and push up, and he can get his bum up in the air and onto his knees....just not at the same time. I suppose its annoying for him that he can get some little stuff happening but he cant move anywhere. And that is becoming frusturating for me. Why? Because this is the face i'm seeing all throughout the day:

This face and a sad, angry, little moan ( or cry ) which i take to mean " I hate this Mum! I can't go anywhere! Can't you just come pick me up and cuddle me ? " You know, which i'm trying not to do: i'm trying to encourage him to crawl by leaving him there to cry a little, by lying down in front of him and holding my hands out, by putting a toy in front of him that will grab his attention. Nothings working yet. Or rather, nothing is making him go forward - in the past week Flynn's been able to do this little " worm " like thing but only appears to be moving him backwards - which frusturates him more, because he squirms back and back and back until he runs into furniture or a toy or something and gets stuck. I guess i'm wondering - is this normal at 7 and half months?

I've been doing a little research that says most babies start crawling between 6 and 10 months, so its not like Flynn's running late in the crawling department; however, it also says that they'll start crawling soon after learning to sit on their own, and Flynn had that down pat pretty early. He was sitting straight and unsupported at 5 months, so i was assuming that the next milestone would come a little early too. And to even further confuse me - apparently after crawling babies will start to pull themselves up on things. AFTER. Flynn apparently didnt get that memo - if i hold my hands out he'll grab them and pull himself up to standing ( he's been able to do this for a while ) and in the last week and a bit he's started pulling himself up on furniture. He's even started taking small steps towards me after he's pulled himself up, if i leave my hands outstretched. So whats up with that? Could that be a sign my little dude is going to skip crawling all together and just go straight to cruising along the furniture, and then taking those first, awkward, solo steps?

I don't know if i should be concerned, all i do know for sure is that this little fella of mine has me mighty confused about where he's at and where he's going too. Any tips? Anyone with experience similar to this? And is there anyone willing to tell me i'm fussing over nothing and i should just enjoy his immobility before he gets his little self a-moving and starts raiding my kitchen cupboards?

AND JUST A QUICK NOTE: Thanks to Lori at Random Ramblings of a SAHM for helping me with the code for my button. I suck at techy stuff and she was willing to take time out of her busy, 2-children-to-raise, schedule and help me out. Thanks muchly!

* Second note - to all those non-Aussies reading my blog, we're electing a new Prime Minister next weekend. Julia Gillard is one of the candidates ( a red-headed, female candidate - oh my! ) and " Moving Forward " has been her ( rather lame ) campaign slogan...