A Message From The Cold Frog

Its starting to get colder - and i'm not liking it. Its no secret that i am so NOT a big fan of winter, but truth be told i dont enjoy the change of seasons either. I read so many blog posts and magazine articles about how individuals enjoy the change of seasons from autumn to winter - the crisp freshness of the air; the colours of the leaves as they dance on the breeze; the opportunity to rug up in winter coats and drink cocoa. You know - all that poetic stuff. Well not me.

The air is not so much crisp as chilly, giving me goosebumps that have absolutely nothing to do with pleasure; the leaves dont change colour or fall much here because the majority of Australian native trees are evergreen; and i dont drink cocoa. So the only plus there for me is the rugging up bit - winter coats and scarves and Ugg boots. Yep - i said Ugg boots. I was coveting Christian Louboutins in my last post but come winter, nothing beats a pair of Uggs.

So sure, all you snow bunnies out there relish the chance to start planning your annual ski holiday. And all you lucky people in the Northern hemisphere enjoy the transition into sweet, sunshiney, summer. I'll be here in my Ugg boots and knitted beanie, scowling at the cold in my bones....

Spring has Sprung or is Springing

Pictures-

1- Azalea's

2- Trees on the side of the road

3-more trees on a hillside

4- Bell tower at church

5-A field

6- A fence row

7- Another field

8- A sideways field and sky

9- Flower (not sure what kind maybe a Tulip(?)

10- A line on the driveway that looks like dust, well it's not. It's Pollen from the oak trees and what not. All I have to say is no wonder everyone is having allergy issues.

Hope you enjoy the pictures.

Galway and Mayo in the Rain

Got to read about the "Pirate Queen" when I get back home. The remains of one of her castles was behind our B&B on an island in Maam, County Galway. Evidently, she was quite a character. Wonder why I didn't know about her.

More typical Irish weather lately. As one pub keeper put it, "It only rains three hundred days a year." But even when it's raining sideways, sometimes filtered sunshine peeks through and illuminates up a mountainside far off, lending a mystic aura to the landscape.

Some visitors describe Galway as "melancholic" and one can see why. Others praise the solitude and stark beauty. I wonder what it's like living day-to-day in that white cottage in all that lonely countryside.

I pick out routes with remote mountain passes as we make our way north to Crossmolina. We pass lochs with centuries-old sporting lodges built and maintained by British aristocrats and off-limits to Irish tenant-farmers in the old days.

As I mentioned last year, memories of the Great Famine permeate the country. If you've forgotten about it for a day, there'll be a memorial beside a lonely road in the middle of nowhere to remind you. In Westport, Country Mayo, is the national memorial - the bronze sculpture "Coffin Ship" with skeletons strung about as rigging.

It's eerie, but poignant. Makes me appreciate the Irish breakfast I ate this morning.

Just got an email from my daughter, Annie. Our next grandchild is a little girl! We'll see her in September.

Life goes on.

I've Been Stimulated

Ah.... the global economic meltdown. I'd like to say that you amuse me, but truth is... you dont. I dont think your amusing anybody, not even rich fatcats sitting up in their mansions because they're losing money along with everybody else. Truth be told, i'm not doing too badly - i have a good, stable job and i dont have any investments dragging me backwards. Plus, i've just received a nice little monetary gift ... courtesy of Uncle Kevin Rudd.

Who , you say ? Uncle Kevvie or, as you non-Aussies may know him ( if you've heard of him at all ... ) Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of the Commonwealth of Australia. Thats right people, the Australian government is giving money away and i've got me some! If you're an Australian taxpayer who earned less than $100 000 last financial year ( uh, yea... i'm waaaaaay under the qualifying mark ) the government will give a $900 cash injection. The idea is that everybody takes their " free " $900 and spends it, thus stimulating the Australian economy.

Question is: what do i spend it on ?

High Definition TV?

Fancy new mobile phone ?

Sky high pair of Christian Louboutins?

I dont really need the new phone, and although i would die to be wearing gorgeous Louboutins ( i'd sleep in them i'd love them so much! ) i dont really need them either. I am actually tossing up getting a TV to replace my old flat screen but im going to wait til the price is right. So where will my K.Rudd money being going ? For now, into my savings account. Boring, i know, but until i can decide exactly what i want to do with it - tearing down a wall in my new house or investing in a new piece of furniture being two other seriously considered options - i'll be keeping a good hold on it....

Aran Islands

One of the most stunning places I've ever visited. We all were thoroughly charmed.

Why all the walls? Behind the horse's head is a "field" of limestone bedrock. According to Thomas Joyce, one of the locals, all the fields were like that until they hauled in sand and seaweed to create the soil - an ongoing process as you can see in the next shot. They broke up some of the stone and built up the walls as boundaries for different plots and to enclose the animals. The walls are higher here than in any place I've seen in Ireland, or anywhere for that matter, and I live in New England.

It all makes me feel lazy. It's even more stunning when you think about what went into making it all.

I promised to get some horse pictures for my daughter Annie

It rained in the morning so we almost cancelled, but then the sun came out and we bought ferry tickets. Joe said it was one of the best days of his life and he's had a lot of them. Let's see . . . ninety times 365 is what?

The sun stayed out all day. I had two pints of Guinness for lunch. So did Joe and Ma. Roseann had a Heiniken. I think I'll have the same tomorrow in Connemara. Very nourishing.

I've taken 410 shots so far. Even Roseann took some. I hate posing and smiling on que, but today I obliged. It was that good a day.

County Clare

Weather is great so far here in County Clare, but that could change any time. Yesterday was a long day, but great. Ma(84) and Uncle Joe (90) are holding up as well as I am. We toured the Cliffs of Moher and the Burren before eating dinner at O'Connor's Pub in Doolin.

On to the Aran Islands today. Sleeping in Galway tonight.

Sorry if I mislead readers with my last post. I'm only here for a visit and won't be posting columns for two weeks - just short bursts like this one - unless Israel attacks Iran.

Leaving The Country

Crossmolina

It's not because liberal dominance has gotten too difficult to bear, though it is trying. I'm going back to Ireland with my wife, my mother (84), and my uncle (90). We're heading for Crossmolina, County Mayo, from where my great-grandmother, Kate McDonnell, emigrated to Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania in the 1880s sometime. My great-grandfather Peter Haggerty followed her to Wilkes Barre and married her. My mother and uncle knew Kate when she was an old woman and they were children.

I may post short pieces from there with a few photos, but I probably won't be posting columns unless I'm very inspired.

Or, unless Israel attacks Iran.

Gotta go catch a plane . . .

Out of the Loop

So - you know how when your in high school you think you're going to be friends with these people forever ? Like, totally forever? You couldnt possibly imagine ever growing apart from the people populating your English and Math classes? Yea, well.... it happens. And i'm not talking about the majority of your high school class ( who you do the awkward " hey, how are you ? " conversation with if you see them out and about ) - i'm talking about the select handful that you call your "best" friends. How did i manage to grow apart from them ?



Not P.... P and i are still as thick as thieves ( although to be fair, i was pretty upset when she cancelled lucnh on me this past Saturday. I kind of get the feeling she doesnt really want to meet Mr Gil, and i dont really know why.... ). No, i'm talking about A and Em. The four of us were bestest of buddies during our final year of school and have been ever since, but just in the last year ( since the whole Mary Incident ) i've noticed a chasm opening up: A and Em on one side, myself on the other. I expected it after the whole Mary thing, especially with A ( she is Mary's sister after all ) but it still feels strange.



Dinner with the girls, as mentioned in my last post, just wasnt the same. I felt competely on the outer. My relationship with A hasnt exactly collapsed, but i'm not close to her anymore. We dont call or text each other, and the only emails we exchange are of the chain letter/lame joke variety. I havent been to visit her in her new town where she got a new job - but the other two have. The majority of Friday nights dinner conversation revolved around A's new flat, her work colleagues, the little adventures they'd had together since she'd moved. I dont know the people they were talking about, and wasnt " in " on any of the "in" jokes. Even when i brought up other topics of conversation - movies, music, my fledgling relationship, Easter activities, family and other friends - things kept circling back to A and her brand new life. My thoughts kept alternating between how left out i felt, and how much i'd rather be anywhere else than alone at a table with three other women i used to think were my platonic soulmates.



I know when this happened, and i pretty much know whow .... but why ? How did i end up being the one pushed out ? And why didnt anyone tell me ahead of time ?

Storms

You know the saying "April Showers bring May flowers." Well we've been having quite a few showers here in Tennessee. They haven't been just showers though, they've been out and out gully-washing, tornado warning, turn the TV up loud and get to your safe place type storms. They've all come on the weekends mostly. I think just about every Friday there has been one. It's been weird. I don't remember ever having this many bad storms in a row for a long time. We've had some bad ones but they've always seemed real spaced out.

We were talking about the weather in Sunday School when one of the girls mentioned that the weather on (Good)Friday matched what it was on the first Good Friday and then Easter Sunday's weather (which was bright and sunny) matched what an ideal Easter would be. I thought that was really cool. I hadn't thought about it but it was true. The Bible talks about the sky going dark from noon to three and that was about when the storm came through. Well anyway enjoy the pictures!

Please pray for the families that were hit by the Tornadoes that did hit in a few counties.

Pictures.

1- The pond like puddle that forms in our driveway. I thought the reflection of the trees and sky was cool.

2-Our creek very much so flooded. It wasn't over it's banks but it had a whole lot more water than normal.

3- A tree in the woods on the way to the creek with the sky that was sort of clearing.

4- The tail end of the storm.

5-Very ominous looking cloud.

Blue-Eyed Devils

The global financial crisis is “caused by white men with blue eyes,” said President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva of Brazil at a press conference with UK Prime Minister, Gordon Brown. He’s right, of course, and as a heterosexual, non-Hispanic white guy with blue eyes, I’m ashamed to look at myself in the mirror. President da Silva went on to say that the people who have to pay for the crisis are the poor, brown people. All this misery and suffering - I’m stricken with remorse. President Obama’s Chicago buddy, Minister Louis Farrakhan, believes we’re “blue-eyed devils” too and I guess he’s right. His other Chicago buddy, the, Reverend Wright, had nasty things to say about us like: "God damn America!" President Obama is apologizing for people like me wherever he goes lately, and I guess it’s time I joined in and helped him out. I need to purge myself of this guilt so I can at least shave in the morning without wanting to cut my throat.



In Strasbourg, our president said America has “shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive” toward France, after LaFayette helped us out so much more than two centuries ago. Arrogant Americans think that just because we left 512 American military cemeteries in France, Belgium, and Luxembourg after World War I, that it somehow made up for what the French did for us, but they didn’t allow for inflation. I mean there were far fewer people in the world when the French came over here and helped us compared to how many were around in 1917/18 when tens of thousands of Americans died in the trenches defending Europe. Even though most of those dead Americans were non-Hispanic, heterosexual white guys, it doesn’t begin to make up for the bad things others of our ilk did all throughout history.

Yes, Americans went over again in 1942 after France had again been conquered by the Germans, this time in just a few weeks. Yes, we left another 359 American military cemeteries with over 246,000 dead Americans in them, and some of us think that’s enough. But think about this when you see pictures of all those lines of white crosses: The treads of Patton’s tanks tore up the ground for hundreds of miles and nobody stopped to put up silt fence anywhere. And how much truffle habitat was forever altered by arrogant Americans digging all those graves? How many frogs with nice, fat legs could have been croaking there? How many grapes could be ripening if dead Americans weren’t taking up so much space?

Why did we think we needed to go in there and push the Germans out anyway? Lots of French people were cooperating with German rule in Vichy France. They were working it out quite well until we arrogantly interfered. The French have had a lot of practice at surrendering and they’re very good at it. They cooperated nicely with the Germans by putting French Jews on trains to the gas chambers in Poland. France cooperated with the Japanese in their their former colony in Vietnam as well. Heck, they surrendered so gracefully when the Japanese moved down the Indochina Peninsula that Japan didn’t even have to disarm them. French troops kept their weapons and cooperated until the United States forced Japan to surrender by dropping two atomic bombs on them in 1945.

Speaking of those atomic bombs, President Obama apologized for dropping them too, in Prague. “As a nuclear power – as the only nuclear power to have used a nuclear weapon – the United States has a moral responsibility to act,” he said. He wants America to take the lead getting rid of nuclear weapons, since we so arrogantly dropped them on Japan. Heck, all the Japanese did was attack us at Pearl Harbor - and they only did that because we refused to sell them scrap metal. If we weren’t so stubborn, all that misery could have been avoided. And, it was blue-eyed white guys who invented those terrible weapons in the first place.


Finally, it was great to see President Obama bowing to the king of Saudi Arabia. What a nice way to start making up for stealing all their oil. This is the kind of hope and change the American people wanted last November. I didn’t think I’d like it, but now I see that there’s even hope for us heterosexual, non-Hispanic white guys to change too - or at least stop screwing up the world.

Easter Bunny Business

Why does the four day Easter long weekend always seem so much shorter than four days ? Its because Easter inevitably always ends up being so busy. Friends that have moved away come back to town, the relations call in to visit, and there always seems to be some kind of festival or parade or event to attend. Now that i find myself in a relationship, my Easter activities magically doubled this year. No wonder its now Monday evening and i feel like i've barely stopped all weekend!

Mr Gil and I have been shuttling back and forth between his town and mine ( a trip of 30 minutes on a good day ) since Thursday night and its finally catching up with me. Starting Thursday afternoon:
* I finished work and drove out there.
* Stayed Thursday night at his sisters place, but ate dinner with his mum and dad at theirs.
* Visited his dad at his workplace Friday morning, played Wii at his mums Friday afternoon.
* I drove back Friday evening.
* Made a pitstop at my uncle's house for my baby cousins 1st birthday.
* Had a casual dinner of fish and chips with P, who was home for the weekend, and two of my other school friends AJ and Em.
* Slept at my own house that night.
* Mr Gil drove over to my town Saturday morning.
* Had a lunch scheduled with P and her husband - the first time my best friend would be meeting my new boyfriend- but P had to cancel.
* Instead, Mr Gil and I grabbed a quick takeaway lunch and drove back to his town.
* Visited with his mum and played more Wii Sports.
* Headed back to his sisters where we would be staying the night.
* Attended his ten year high school reunion. Mr Gil and I are the same age, but his school held a reunion to celebrate ten years since the 10th grade; mine will celebrate ten years from 12th grade.
* I drove Mr Gil to the local truck stop at 3:30am because he was really hungry and only something hot, greasy, and really bad for him would cure that hunger.
* Drove out to the property where Mr Gil works to feed the farm animals. As his boss is away, yes this technically means he had to work on Easter Sunday.
* Took some Easter Eggs to his mum and dad.
* Packed up my stuff and drove back, again, to my town.
* Played Easter Bunny to my little cousins who are visiting town and whom Mick was meeting for the first time. Nobody cried, so that was good.
* Had dinner with my mum, dad and sister. Received a late visit from my brother and his family on their way home from Sydney.
* Went to bed and almost immediately fell asleep. No early morning munchy trips called for.
* Woke up and got sucked into watching a few episodes of Parental Control on MTV.
* Went to have lunch a local pub only to find the bistro wasnt serving. Mr Gil and I sunk a few dollars in the poker machines instead.
* Went and saw " Monsters Vs Aliens ". Yes, its a kids movie and no we didnt take any kids with us.
* Came home to find both my parents snoozing on the lounge. Retired to my room for a quick nap of our own.
* Woke up right on schedule and said a hard goodbye for the week to Mr Gil, who had to get on back to his own town.
* Wished he was still here.

And that brings us update. I may expand on a few of those points tomorrow, but for now i've given you everything i have to give. Whats that ? Oh yea, i think i hear my pillows calling ....

One Quarter Down, The Rest Of The Year To Go

So, i thought seeing as we are one quarter of the way through 2009 ( god, already! ) that i might quickly review how my goals for the year were going. AS it turns out, i think i'm doing pretty well!

Continue the gym/health kick: Ok, to be fair, this one has slipped a little in the last month. I was away from home for two weeks so i didnt make it to the gym at all - i did go for a few walks after work, but going for a walk just doesnt make me feel the same. And i've been sick with the latest icky bug the past week and, consequently, havent have only been to the gym once in the past week. However, its not like i have stopped going because i couldnt be bothered anymore, which would mena a big fat FAIL on this goal. NO, its only been circumstance that has stopped me, so i'm going to give myself a 6/10 on this one thus far.

Spend as much time with my neices as possible: I'm going to give myself a pass mark on this one. Admittedly, since the arrival of Mr Gil to my scene i have not been as frequent a visitor to my brothers house as i once was, but all the time i do spend with H and BellaBoo is quality. BellaBoo is three months old now ( ah, how convenient for her to have been born on New Years Day ) and she is a chubby-cheeked little cherub with fluffy brown hair. She gurgles and laughs now, so you can pull funny faces and make her laugh, as opposed to pulling funny faces and just looking like an oodball. H seems to have gorwn closer to me since Bella's arrival - i think both being the oldest we have a thing going on, because i know what she's gona experience being the oldestof the brood. I've tried to pay her a little more attention than Bella sometimes to make sure she doesnt feel like the baby has " stolen " everyone away from her. That makes me a good aunty right ? 8/10 on this one.

Try saying " yes " more often than " no " : Yep, this train is definately still on the tracks. In fact, i credit how much i'm enjoying my new relationship with Mr Gil to the fact i am more open to saying " yes ". We met online, and he didnt have a picture on his profile - in the past, i wouldnt haven't struck up an email " relationship " without having seen a picture first.... but i this time i said " yes ". When he invited me to roadtrip with him to meet his nephews not soon after we'd met, i could have freaked right out..... but i said " yes ". Even the fact i ignored the so-called dating rules and went on a handful of dates with him inside of two weeks was me sayign " yes ". And look where its got me ? For the happiness i'm exeperincing right now, i give myself a resounding 10/10 ! Yay me!

So there you have it.... the three month review. At this point i would also ( appropriately ) like to wish everyone a Happy Eatser however your spending it ( catching up with family and attending Mr Gil's 10 year school reunion ). Please remember that chocolate is your friend, but even friends can turn enemies if you get too much of them. Safe eating everyone!

After the storm

I snapped this picture on the way home from church on Sunday night. It turned out really good. We had an extra pretty sunset that night since it had rain for awhile and just started clearing up when we left.
I think it's a good example of how God can make something beautiful out a dreary, cloudy, rainy, stormy mess. Which is so true.
Also it shows that not only do clouds have a sliver lining they have pink and purple ones too!
THat was a really random jump. Sorry.

Ditching Dollars

Getting a straight answer from an economist is like nailing jello to a wall. “I'm tired of economists who say, ‘On the one hand ... and then on the other hand.’ Send me a one-armed economist,” said President Harry Truman about his Council of Economic Advisors sixty years ago. It isn’t called “the dismal science” for nothing.

In an old western I saw as a boy, two cowboys who didn’t trust each other negotiated a deal. One gave a coin to the other who looked at it, bit on it, looked at it again, then put it in his pocket, satisfied. It didn’t matter whose picture was on the coin or what was stamped there. He was satisfied that it was made of silver or gold. Ridges are stamped on the edge of dimes and quarters because they used to be made of silver. If there were no ridges, people would suspect someone had been shaved off. The cowboy trusted the metal in his pocket more than he trusted the other cowboy.

The value of gold or silver depends on how much is in circulation. If there were a fixed amount and no more were being mined, the value - or the price if you will - wouldn’t change, right? Like the cowboy in the movie, most of us can understand that much. There’s always a possibility of a big discovery somewhere increasing supply and reducing the value of the coin in his pocket, but such things are relatively rare. The law of supply and demand applies, like it or not. It can no more be repealed than the law of gravity can.

When our government printed paper dollars, we had to trust that it maintained enough gold and silver in Fort Knox to back up dollars it printed, just as we have to trust that someone writes a paper check, he has enough in his account to cover it. Absent trust, paper is no good. In 1971, however, President Nixon announced that the US dollar would not longer be backed by gold. It would float freely. I don’t understand how he had the authority to do that since our Constitution gives Congress power to coin money (or print it) in Article I Section 8, but Nixon did it anyway. The dollar would instead be backed by the full faith and credit of government. Nixon also said he would control wages and prices to keep down inflation, but it didn’t work. Inflation soared - as it will whenever government prints money recklessly.

Though I’m a history teacher, my teaching license says “Social Studies.” I’m charged with teaching current events, geography, civics, and economics as well. That’s daunting at times - especially when I’m having difficulty making sense of what’s going on. Things are happening so fast, it’s hard to keep up. Last November, Americans elected leftists to run the country. I knew it was going to be bad, but I didn’t expect it to be this bad, this soon. I’m not sure voters understood what they would actually do, but we’re all finding out now and we’re getting nervous. I’ve been gritting my teeth wondering what it’s going to be like after four years. The President and his congressional allies are using the banking crisis to take control of our economy in a hurry. The president is taking over banks, firing auto company executives, guaranteeing transmissions, and will soon take over the entire health care industry. A recent Saturday Night Live skit in which the president micro-manages the lawn mower, air conditioner and blue jean industries, isn’t far from reality.

Congress is so rushed, it voted for almost $800 billion - the biggest money bill in history - without even reading it. Yet it insists it’s “rescuing” our economy and legions of two-armed economists applaud with both hands. We’d already been bailing out banks, auto companies, insurance companies, and God knows who else with $700 billion in TARP money, and the treasury won’t tell us who-all is getting it. A Democrat congress and a Republican president hurried TARP through last fall with few people anywhere understanding where the money would come from, how it would be spent, or whether it would do any good. We know it increased our debt to over $10 trillion and China started signaling it wouldn’t lend us any more. China and Russia want to start a new world currency to replace the dollar. The old commies bit the coin and didn’t like what they saw. They’re concerned that we’re moving too far left. Europe too. Who would ever have imagined this a year ago? Not me.

Then, two weeks ago, $1.2 trillion appeared out of nowhere. The Federal Reserve snapped its fingers and there it was. Worried? It’s all backed by the full faith and credit of our federal government. And what’s that worth? Not much in the opinion of an increasing number of American taxpayers who are turning out all over the country on April 15th for a Tax Day Tea Party.

Sorry, But My Dog Ate My Blog Posts...

Well holy guacamole boys and girls - it feels like i havent posted on here for months! It hasnt been quite that long of course, but even a break of a week or two feels like an age in the blogosphere. Barely anybody is reading me anymore - or at least, they arent commenting - and i cant blame them.... why would they bother coming back when there is nothing new to come back to ?

So lets see. In the last month i have:
* Met an absolutely gorgeous, sweet man who is making me incredibly happy - Mr Gil is his (code)name
* Been sent to another state to work for two weeks
* Ridden on the back of a Harley for the first time
* Spent ridiculous amounts of money on magazines to keep me amused in my motel room ( Madison, Marie Clare, Glamour, NW .... )
* Eaten far too many chicken and tzatziki foccacias ( so damn good! )
* Bookended the month with two great weekends spent entirely in Mr Gils company
* Discovered the charm of Taylor Swift
* And have witnessed the deifnate change of seasons here in DubVegas

So, all in all, not such a bad month. You would have thought that with all that time on my hands spent on my own in my motel room i would have blogged a little more.... but aside from what was going on in my temporary place of employment ( boring! ) all i would have had to blog about would have been my extended phoen conversations with Mr Gil ( private! ).

So there you have it - my reasons/excuses for my absenteeism the past month. If you are still reading firstly, thankyou, and secondly please keep checking back. I promise to make myself more available in the future, as i fall ever deeper in love ( the way things are going, thats almost a given ), take more roadtrips ( semi-planned already ) and win the lottery ( what? That'll happen! )....

Trees and Tears

It was as if the tree were crying. Watery beads oozed out of small branches and dropped to the stone wall below. I’d never seen that before and wouldn’t have noticed if it were not back-lit by a setting sun. The prismatic twinkling caught my eye through the window. Drops fell sparkling in the amber light. I thought it was melting ice because it had been a very cold morning, warming up after noon. Then I realized it was a maple tree and those conditions were perfect for running sap. Plumes of wood smoke rose up around town as people boiled it down. Untapped, that old maple surged with too much to hold in. So the teardrops fell, making tiny splashes on the gray stones.

“You don’t have to tell a tree how to be a tree,” someone told me, and thank God for that. It’s difficult enough trying to figure out how to be a man in early 21st century America. At long last, I’m learning its best to leave other living things alone whenever possible and concentrate on myself. Life can freeze a man, but he must thaw when sun shines. Tears can form, and fall, when things surge and pressure builds. As Robert Frost said, “Poems begin as a lump in the throat.” If it can’t escape, that lump will grow and freeze a man hard.

Once allowed to flow, it gets harder for men to hold them back. Not all tears are sad though. They can surge in happiness, as women allow but men resist. Men prefer release in private and that’s all right, as long as they do it. My wife, the therapist, says: “If you can let it flow, you can let it go.”

When my house was finished twenty years ago, I began cutting trees around that maple to see the mountains behind. I split them up and warmed my family with them through several winters. I spared that tree because it’s on the edge of a panorama I was opening, but I cut some of the limbs that intruded, saving one lower limb to look out over. It was that limb upon which the sparkling droplets formed to focus my attention. Soon thereafter, buds emerged. I thought of women giving birth in pain and joy, and with tears accompanying both.

Many kinds of maple trees grow on my lot - reds, whites, swamp maples, sugar maples - and they present different colors come fall. Some, however, have been wounded and go soft inside. Scars and punky wood are obvious sometimes, sometimes not. With other trees, a black stain on the bark indicates a crack beneath. I’m careful dropping wounded trees because I need solid wood in the hinge to guide them when they fall. Some trees show no scarring, but the wood inside has gone soft anyway. My saw feels it first, revving higher and cutting faster, and I realize I won’t get as much good firewood out of that tree. But I work it up anyway.

I’ve wondered why perfect-looking trees rotted inside. Now I consider: Have they hidden their wounds to present a flawless exterior? Has their sap congealed to rot them in their cores instead of nourishing growth in their limbs? Some maples are like this. Some people too.

Another tree nearby tortures itself. It forks twelve feet up and one side sent out a limb that chafes the other. The wounded side grows scar tissue as it rubs painfully during a wind. I hear it groan in a gentle breeze. In a strong gust, it screams. A tree can be its own enemy, as a person can.

Some of my favorite trees are the old, gnarled ones whose scars are open to the world. Some scars are cavernous holes, offering shelter to animals, even children. Old trees live with their wounds over many human lifetimes and send out fresh leaves anyway. They grow bark over and around their scars without hiding them, and the resulting forms charm me. They grow in the open sunlight, and send massive limbs out laterally - unlike trees that grow in dense groves and burn out in competition to shoot upward.

They have strong branches good for swings - not good for lumber and difficult to split into firewood. Maybe that’s why they survive so long. By their very form, they show how to enjoy sun and endure storms. They display endurance. “The artist in me cries out for design,” said Frost, and old, gnarled trees show design by circumstance - what has happened around them and to them - how they’ve withstood it - has shaped them.

A tree doesn’t move. It observes. We stand under it but can’t understand it. Not all of it. Although I have a notion the tree does.