Wednesday Fun and I feel like setting this up as a movie script

Act One- It just came out all wrong
Characters- Amiee, Micah, Tessa, Matthew, and Chris - in a circle with the guys all sitting on the stage.
Micah walks up and sees the group joking around and laugh so she joins just in time to see Tessa smack Matthew on the leg.
All laugh and Aimee decides to hit him too.
Micah- "So is this hit on Matthew...." stops realizing what she said and looks embarrassed while trying not to laugh.
Amiee- (laughs and runs off to collect herself then comes back)
Tessa- (laughing) Did you just say that?
Micah- I didn't mean to. But it just....
Aimee- That was so funny! Matthew did you hear what she just said?
Matthew- "No" he answers while taking his ipod ear buds out. "What?"
Aimee- "She just said is this hit on Matthew night or something?
He does nothing and just puts his ear buds back in.
Fade out

Act Two- about five minutes later- The Spray bottle and the jacket
Characters- Micah, Morgan L., Landon, and Will
Micah and Morgan stand in front of the front row talking while Will and Landon are leaning on the back of the chairs with their backs turned to the girls talking with someone.
Micah bends down and grabs a bottle of "Black Raspberry and Vanilla" body spray and grins at Morgan
Micah- "Morgan should I?" she asks holding the spray bottle as if to spray the back of Landon's jacket
Morgan- "Do it."
Micah- "OK" and she starts to spray the back of his jacket and the puts the bottle back in the purse
Morgan- "It needs more..." so she grabs the bottle again and put three more sprays across the back of the jacket "There..."
They put the bottle back and stand trying not to laugh waiting for the guys to react. The smell of the perfume is very strong right now and smells really really bad.
The boys start to notice the smell and the looks of disgust on their faces are priceless.
Will- "What's that smell?"
Landon- "Ah that's gross"
They begin to smell of their shirt selves.
Will- "did someone spray me?!?"
Girls begin to laugh loudly.
Landon- "It's all over my jacket!!"
Will- "What is it?"
Morgan- "It's Black Raspberry Vanilla. Do you like it?"
BY now other's have noticed and are laughing and passing around the bottle of perfume.
Landon- "Why'd you have to do that? My jacket stinks now!!!
he pulls off his jacket and walks across the room to his brother who he makes smell the jacket and then walks back.
Landon- "Just for that I'm not going to play tonight!!" he says threatening Micah who he is in the praise band with
The girls are still laughing and they feel suddenly like giving some mercy
Micah- "It'll wash out. I promise it will."
Landon-"It better..." he says gruffly.




And this was part of my Wednesday. These events did happen somewhat like I wrote them here. Enjoy!

Roof Perchers and Retirement

Roof-perchers. That’s what Laura Ingraham calls them, and their numbers are rising. They’re people who depend on government for everything. If there’s a flood coming, they don’t heed evacuation orders. They don’t head for higher ground. They certainly don’t keep an inflatable raft on hand. They climb on their rooves and wait for government to rescue them. If there’s any delay, they whine to the media who amplify their complaints. Why don’t they take common-sense precautions? They don’t have to, they don’t want to, and they’ll never learn to until government cuts them loose.

That’ll never happen, you say. Oh yeah? As the roof-perchers increase, the number of rescuers declines. More are climbing on the wagon to ride between floods while wagon-pullers are getting tired and getting scarce too. To sustain their ever-increasing numbers, President Obama will increase taxes on the rich, right? Trouble is, the rich are already paying most of the taxes. The top 1% pay more income tax than the bottom 90%. How much more does the president think he can squeeze out of them until they collapse? How long before the goose that laid the golden egg lays down and dies? It’s unsustainable. The socialist programs he’s pushing haven’t worked anywhere they’ve been tried and they won’t work here either.

Last June, Iowa flooded. Did you see people on rooves waiting for government to rescue them? I didn’t. Why were there so many in New Orleans? Because people there are descended from generations who have depended on government. Soon, with all President Obama’s bailout programs and pork-barrel, “economic stimulus” programs, most of the country will become roof-perchers and wagon riders just like them. They’ll reach a critical mass even in places like Iowa and there won’t be enough rescuers or wagon-pullers to keep things running. Eventually, someone is going to call 911 and nobody will be there to answer the phone.

It’s tough watching it all unravel around us. I knew it was was going to get worse when left-wing Democrats consolidated their control over Washington DC, but I didn’t think it would start collapsing so quickly. Meanwhile, it seems every other person I bump into lately asks me, “When are you going to retire?”

Heh. What a quaint notion. Retirement doesn’t seem sustainable either.

I’ve been teaching in the same community for a long time and I have children of former students in class regularly. “You must have enough years in by now,” people say. I don’t think I’ll be able to stop working until I’m either dead or drooling in a rocking chair, but I’m more fortunate than many. I have three jobs and I like them all. The work is interesting, rewarding, and I enjoy most of the people I work with. It gets a little hectic, but my schedule is flexible enough where I can get away from time to time. I’ve been eligible to retire for a while. Theoretically, I can depend on pension checks for life.

Theoretically.

However, I’m hearing horror stories from friends in the private sector about their retirement funds disappearing as stock markets nosedive. Some envy my public-sector retirement “guarantees,” but should they? Is my pension secure? It says so on paper in the state capitol, but I don’t believe it. The Maine State Retirement System is a pension fund like others. It’s invested. Market declines hit MSRS as hard as they hit someone’s 401K and it’s down 28% for 2008 - the biggest decline ever. I hate to even look at what’s happened to it in the six weeks since Obama was inaugurated. But it’s is backed up by the taxpayers according to statute, right? Uh-huh. This poverty-stricken state is one of the highest-taxed states in the country already. Do I want to depend on the prudence of Maine State Government for my support? I’d rather depend on myself, but I’ve been forced to give them my money for three decades. I had no choice.

My wife and I had four children and they’re all working, but most of my generation had smaller families, in Maine and elsewhere. Our population would be declining if not for immigrants pouring in, many of them illegal, and with a higher percentage of them riding on the wagon than the native population. Making matters worse, Maine is a sanctuary state with better-than-average welfare benefits for illegals and all other kinds of roof-perchers and wagon-riders who move here.

But I’ll still have Social Security to help in my declining years, right? Hah! That’s funny. Retirement? People used to do that in the good old days. Roof perchers and wagon riders retire early, but retirement of for the middle class is history. That’s the kind of change President Obama has brought us.

Give It A Rest Already....

So here's the thing - is it wrong if i daydream about wringing my co-workers neck? Seriously ?

No, not J - i love J! Let me introduce you to Prematurely Old Dude - or POD. In my office their is myself and J, our male optometrist, and three staff on the health fund desk. POD is, due to the optom testing all day long, pretty much the only guy in a office full of women. He is only a few years older than me ( he;s 26 or 27 i think... ) but, as you may have guessed by the name, POD is not your average 20-something. POD is 20-something going on 83.... seriously, he carries on like a grumpy old man most of the time. Worse, sometimes he carries on like a grumpy old woman.

Today was one of those days - all he did was whinge and whine about EVERYTHING. Too many clients coming in: whinge. The phone keeps ringing and he doesnt have enough time to answer it: whine. God, i'm so hungry and its not even close to my lunchtime: whinge. Oh, i have to pick up my bike from the repair place and their going to charge me a fortune: whine. Seriously - blah, blah, freaking BLAH! I wasnt too impressed when i went to answer an incoming phone call and POD yelled across the office " Dont answer it - i've got it Amy! ". Firstly, thats not professional in front of clients, and secondly - dude, no need to yell at me. So it really got on my nerve when he had a go at me about throwing the recycling in the regular garbage. No, i'm not some kind of environment hater..... but if you put a few cans, some paper and go knows what else into a regular plastic bag and leave it tied up next to the garbage bin - what else am i supposed to do ? It looked like garbage, it was sitting next to the garbage.... therefore it is garbage!

And then, like the cranky old biddy he is, POD proceded to give me the silent treatment all afternoon. THANK FREAKING GOD.

Thats what i'd been hoping for all morning ....

This Could Be The Euphoria Talking...

And so i promised to keep you in the loop and if there is one thing i really try to do, its keep promises. I've been on a second date with Mr Gil and it was great. So great, in fact, that we've been on a third aswell, less than 24 hours after the second. Does that make sense ?

We had decided after last week that we would get together and so see some movies. We couldnt decide between " Gran Torino " and " Watchmen " and Mr Gil suggested if we couldnt make a decision, why not see both ? I was kind of happy at this suggestion - not only did i get to see two new films, but it meant i got to spend quite a bit of time with Gil. If went badly, well i could just settle into the film and ignore the fact i was on a date; if it went well, we'd have plenty to chat about when i invited him to dinner. Which, you'll be pleased to know, i did. That is, after " Watchmen " finished at about 7:30pm, i asked him if i could buy him a beer. He declined the offer ( not the beer part, he just wouldnt let me pay for it ) so i suggested we get that beer whilst also getting some dinner. So, to tally this up, we saw two movies, ate two scoops of icecream each, shared a good meal, and were the only two audience members for the local pub band ( because we had a few drinks downstairs while they were doing a soundcheck, not because they sucked. They did give us a " Thank you - you've been awesome! " shout out though... that was cool! ). I really enjoyed myself, and only thought that 9 hrs wasnt long enough.

Now, i know that the four wisest women in the world - Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte - say you shouldnt schedule the next date too soon: that we women, no matter how good the date and how much you want to see the guy again, should make ourselves seem unavailable for a few days, so as not to appear desperate. However, i have decided to say pooh to that. I enjoyed myself on the second date and i know Mr Gil did too, so why should i pretend otherwise ? I like him, he likes me and when i sent him a " good morning " text he said he'd really enjoyed last night and would like to see me again. I told him i felt the same way and then next thing i know my phone goes off and i've got " Today ? " sitting in my inbox. Why would i say no ? I wasnt doing anything else and i DID want to see him again so why would i follow the apparent dating rules and say " Oh, you know what , i cant.... ". Thats right, i wouldnt. I dont follow the rules - I'm a dating rebel !

And so i spent four hours lying around in the park with Gil, chatting, laughing and scheming to steal a piece of birthday cake from a chidlrens birthday party a few metres away. We didnt get any cake, but that didnt stop it being the perfect third ( first, second, twenty-fifth....whatever ) date. Mr Gil makes me laugh, and although we arent exactly from the same world, i really relate to him. I've never felt so immediately comfortable with someone. Its nice.
Plus, i spent four hours outdoors and managed not to get sunburnt.

And so, the first three dates - typically the hardest period in the dating game - are out of the way, and they've all been great. We have already agreed we are definately seeing each other next weekend, but then i have to go away for work for two weeks.

I'm going to be honest - i dont really wanna go....

* For the record, " Gran Torino " was great. " Watchmen " was good but could have benefited from being at least half an hour shorter...

I miss the color green

I want it to be spring. It's been winter too long. I hate the groundhog for seeing it's shadow. I mean really who's scared of their shadow? Maybe it's was the fact that when the groundhog came out that there were cameras, lights, flashes going off, tons of people around, weird men in tails and top hats. Maybe that's why he went back into his hole. But does anyone ever think of that? NO. The say Mr. Groundhog hid because there will be six more weeks of winter. Well I say no. NO MORE COLD!!!! I want spring. That's it.

Whats wrong with paper?

Ah.... the joys and wonders of modern technology.

I love how the big IT companies tell you that the computer will make your life so much easier - but isnt it a huge pain in the arse when they crash ? I'm writing this* ( on paper - how old school of me ) whilst at work, because the main program my colleagues and i need to function has thrown a full tantrum and is refusing to work properly. We're also supposed to be undergoing a server update and thats not co-operating either. And the best part ? We have two computer technicians here today who cant do any work either until the server has been fixed from our home office. Freaking fabulous! J and I have been able to do some work on other programs but everyone else has just had to sit around with their hands in their pockets all morning. I bet from the outside this looks like a really productive office....

Don't get me wrong - its not like i'd be without technology. God no. I get withdrawal symptoms if i dont check my email at least once a day. It just sucks that we've ( ok... I'VE ) become so reliant on it that we cant cope when it doesnt work. Or that we've become so reliant that we'll do anything, pay anything, to keep in the technological loop. Its bad enough that i'm willing to pay 25c per text message (Telstra, i'm talking to you ) because sending 60 text messages to one person in one evening so much better than actually calling them. However, people are spending small fortunes to buy a brand new, fandangled, MP3 playing, 6 megapixel picture taking mobile phone, and others ( ok, mainly men ) would give their right nut to be set up with the latest in mobile gaming. If eating two minute noodles and endless tins of baked beans for weeks on end is the only way you can afford a new Nintendo Wii complete with Guitar Hero - then thats not cool!

I have a laptop that i bought while it was on sale, a 4 year old mobile phone and Ipod Mini that i won in a work promotion, so i'm not exactly technology deficient....but sometimes i wish we could all just go " old school ", if only to make things less complicated!

* Yes, i wrote the post at work.... now i'm posting it from home, about 7 hrs later

Profile in Courage

Courage is rare. That’s why we prize it. The high point of my trip to Washington, DC last week was meeting Geert Wilders - a profile in courage for our times. He has lived for years under 24-7 guard after radical Muslims put out a fatwa on him, just as they did with Salman Rushdie twenty years ago this week. Wilders, a Dutch Member of Parliament, had the temerity to make a film called “Fitna,” which quotes incendiary lines from the Koran and depicts sermons by radical imams preaching hatred of Jews and other infidels. Interspersed with these are scenes where those quotes and preachings are put into practice, including clips of the September 11th attacks in the USA, bus bombings in London, train bombings in Madrid, and beheadings in the Middle East.

Wilders knew he would incur a death sentence when he released Fitna, but he did so anyway. He took up the mantle of courage from fellow Hollanders like Theo Van Gogh, who was murdered on the streets of Amsterdam after making a film depicting Muslim mistreatment of women, and fellow Parliamentarian Ayaan Hirsi Ali, who was driven out the Netherlands after the Dutch government declined to protect her following the fatwa issued against her.

CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) organizers were asked to give Wilders and opportunity to speak during their event at the Omni Shoreham Hotel, but they declined, claiming their schedule was full and they couldn’t fit him in. I hope that was the reason. I hope it wasn’t because they were too afraid. A separate reception for Wilders was thrown together elsewhere in the hotel at the last minute and word went around among CPAC attendees about when and where.

Although I showed up an hour early, I barely got into the small function room where it was standing-room-only. I’d been warned that no bags or jackets would be allowed inside, so I put those in my room and showed up in shirtsleeves with a camera and digital recorder. Uniformed security guys ran metal detectors over me and asked for my press pass. I hadn’t applied for one, so I had to talk my way past that. Inside were large, burly guys with folded arms, shaved heads, and stern looks surrounding the tall, smiling, blonde-haired Dutchman. The reception was sponsored by conservative activists including David Horowitz of Frontpagemagazine, Pam Geller of Atlasshrugs, as well as authors Robert Spencer and Dr. Andrew Bostom. After each made their introductions, Wilders came to the podium to thunderous applause. Speaking in mildly-accented English, he thanked the audience and thanked US immigration authorities saying, “It’s always a pleasure to cross a border without being sent back on the first flight.” He was referring to what happened to him the previous week, when he’d been invited to London to show “Fitna” in the House of Lords, but was deported immediately after landing at Heathrow Airport by a UK multicultural police squad who were afraid his presence on British soil would stir a riot by radical British members of the “Religion of Peace.”

It’s bad enough that Wilders must live out his life in safe houses, but his own government, the most politically-correct in Europe if not the whole world, issued criminal charges against him for “inciting hatred and discrimination” and “insulting Muslim worshippers.” Only under multiculturalism can someone “insult” Muslims by quoting them when they incite hatred and discrimination. The Dutch courts do not dispute what Wilders depicted in his film. They know it’s true. Wilders’ crime is publicizing the truth liberal Europe would prefer to ignore.

Genuine courage is indeed rare. Wilders’ display of it in the Netherlands sharply contrasts - and shines light on - Dutch government cowardice. That’s why they’re trying to shut him up. As Wilders himself put it last Friday night:

“In Europe freedom of speech should be extended, instead of restricted . . . As George Orwell once said: ‘If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.’”