Why Don't YOU Cover Up?

I know i've blogged about this before but i found an article today that had me so riled up i just had to make mention of it. Well, not so much  the article, but the storm of comments following it : should breastfeeding mothers have to cover up while feeding in public?

The majority of comments seemed to be supportive of women being able to breastfeed their babies whenever, wherever, and however they wanted to, or supportive of the right to feed but asking for discretion. But there were some comments that just made my blood boil. This one in particular -

Breast feeding
Posted by: no interest, perth, on 17/09/2010 10:34:16

Just because you have your offspring attached to your breast doesnt mean you can automatically get it out wherever you like and start feeding your litter. Most people have no interst in seeing such things, its just not called for in public. Have a bit of self respect and respect for those arround you and put it away or at least cover it up. While we are at it try putting a leash on the rest ofyour litter while in public and perhaps a muzzle as well, parent shouyld take control of their brood and stop them from running wild and screaming like animals, however I guess if the litter are to run wild then perhaps the parent can breast feed in public like the rest of the live stock.

 

Pardon my language but - what.a. fucking.cockhead. I just wanted to reach through the computer screen and punch this idiot in the throat. How insulting to mothers everywhere, regardless of whether they breastfeed in public or not. And believe it or not, this wasnt the only comment likening breastfeeding to nursing animals. One other person said mothers who breastfeed in public should be made to do so out in the paddock like the rest of the cows (!) and numerous people compared the natural act of breastfeeding to the natural act of defecation - and then said we arent allowed/it isnt polite to defecate in public view so why should it be any different for breastfeeding.

 

Attitudes like that make me absolutely sick and i was shocked that they even exist in todays society. Yes, i can appreciate that some people may not know where to look when faced with a breastfeeding mother ( my advice? If you're not sure, just look away ) but that doesnt mean women should be forced to feed their babies in dirty public toilets or be made to stay home with their babies because thats we're new mums and babies belong ( both of which were suggested by commentors on this article ). Nor do breastfeeding mothers feel they are untouchable and that they're rights come before everyone elses ( also a prevailing attitude in the comments section ) but rather want their babies to have the same freedom to eat when they are hungry that every other person has. Its as simple as that. Anyone who suggests otherwise, or that thinks breastfeeding mothers simply just want to get their boobs out in public and flash them to the world ( give me a friggin' break.. ) is out of touch, out of their minds and out of order...

To Boob Or Not To Boob?

That is the question. See, i think the days of sharing boobies with my beautiful, hungry bubba are coming to an end. Flynn just isnt showing much interest in boobies anymore ( unless you count the lingerie sale ad that played every ad break for like a week - his head snapped to attention every time that ad came on. Typical male ). Thats right - we're weaning here in the New Adventures household, and i think i have mixed feelings about it.

He's already got the perfect Vegemite eating technique downpat...

We started our mushy, messy adventure into solids around 3 months ago so breastfeeds have been steadily decreasing for a while. From birth, my boy had been a big lover of the boob - it was 2 hourly feeds during the day, and one or two at night, depending on whether he woke or not. That was equivalent to around 10 a day. I was firmly in dairy cow territory - it felt like a baby was permanently stuck to my breast and i was never, ever, ever going to be able to get him off or be able to go anywhere alone, ever again. Now? My little boy is having 3 meals of solids a day and usually 3-4 milk feeds. Only two of which ( on a good day ) are breastfeeds. After 6 weeks or so of trying, I've finally managed to get Flynn to take a bottle. A bottle you say? But i thought you were so pro-breastfeeding Amy? Well yes, i am, but the need to return to work ( and i mean need - if my bank account weren't hovering so close to a zero balance i would love to stay home... ) means i can't breastfeed during the day, and the decline in breastfeeding means i cant express enough booby juice - so its a formula bottle feed, twice a day at the very least. Happily, my community health nurse informs that he is now old enough to start drinking cows milk, so i dont have to buy expensive formula anymore!

So - i'm not sure how i feel about this whole weaning thing. I wanted him to start taking a bottle, needed him to do it so we didnt have any difficulties when we started daycare, but i didnt think he'd so easily drop his prior enthusiasm for booby-time. On one hand i love, love, love that it means i can have a little independence back - that i can have a morning sleep-in now that he doesnt need a breastfeed upon waking; that i could leave him with his Grandma and Poppy so i can have a haircut/eyebrow wax/go to the movies, without having to worry that my 2 hours of freedom before the next breastfeed is almost up; that i can spend the day at home with him without feeling like his own personal milk machine.

On the other hand, i'm going to miss the intimacy of breastfeeding. I love being able to look down at his fat little hand resting on my booby, his chubby little belly snuggled into me, and wondering at what Mick and I have created. I've found that i'm trying to keep that closeness while he has a bottle - i lean down and kiss his head, or stroke his arm or tickle his feet. I'm going to relish my freedom no doubt, but i'm going to mourn for that close breastfeeding bond.

So we're pretty much down to one, long, proper breastfeed a day - which happens to be in the middle of the night. When Flynn starts sleeping through again ( which i'm praying for ) that feed will be gone too. My baby is growing up! So how about you guys  ladies? How did you feel when your bubbas left the booby?

Celebrity Advice For National Breastfeeding Week ( If You Choose To Take It )

Ah celebrities - they say the darndest things. And celebrity mums say even darndier ( ok, yep, not actually a word ) things. I had planned on doing a post for National Breastfeeding Week , but after reading the news this morning, and finding this post on Holly's blog , i've decided to change my original idea up a bit. First celebrity on my chopping block? Gisele Bundchen.

Gisele has made headlines today for saying that she believes an international law should be passed decreeing that women MUST breastfeed their babies for at least 6 months. You would think this something that would be supported during Breastfeeding Week but... i gotta say, the whole notion is a bit silly ( for lack of a better word ). Let me just start by saying that i believe that what Gisele is saying comes from a good place but, in reality, its just not do-able for everybody. Not every woman is able to breastfeed, and those that are able arent always able to keep it going for 6 months.There are many complicated factors in whether a woman can or can't breastfeed, whether she chooses to or not - to then pass a law which would only make this decision all the more harder ( and then make a criminal of women who are not able to breastfeed through no fault of their own ) is just ridiculous. The last thing new mothers grappling with mastering the skill of breastfeeding need is the added pressure of worrying whether or not they're going to break the law. I admire Gisele for her passion for the good old booby juice - that was until i read the part of the article where she implies that one of  the other good reasons for passing such a law is because breastfeeding helped her keep her figure. I think her willowy, gorgeous Brazilian supermodel genes may have played a part in that too....

And the second celebrity to step up to the plate ? Jacinta Tynan, an Australian newsreader and part-time author. Ms Tynan is a columnist for one of the Sydney newspapers, and published an article this weekend entitled " The Big Easy "  , in which she writes about how easy she has found motherhood. I wont delve any further into the details of the article ( i'll let you read for yourself ), and i know i'm not the first blogger to post about Ms Tynan today, but i had to say my piece. And what i've got to say is - i didnt like it. I'm all for celebratng motherhood, and on my own blog i'd like to think i give a pretty balanced view of how my mothering experience is moving along. I love to hear stories from mums about all the great things they've done and times they've enjoyed with their bubbas but... i dont want to hear how you think the whole mothering gig isnt hard. The tone of the article, and its written in the first person so it must be representative of Ms Tynan's personal opinion, is that being a mum is not hard, and that anyone who believes otherwise is a whinger. She comes across as a quite smug and arrogant, and as if she believes that women who do find motherhood hard, regardless of their situations ( single parent, post natal depression, more than one child ...) are making a fuss. Its fine to be happy, and to love your child, and to enjoy the whole experience even when it does involve sleepless nights and crying jags, and its wonderful that you arent phased by it all - but dont dismiss the women who are. Don't dismiss the first time mum who, after 6 hrs of constant crying, is curled up on the lounge bawling her own eyes out because its HARD to listen to the child she loves suffering, knowing that she's tried everything she can think of to make him stop. Don't judge the mother who is struggling in the first few weeks of breastfeeding, crying in pain because learning to breastfeed successfully is HARD. And don't look down upon those mothers who maybe suffering PND and find everything so overwhelming that its HARD to even look at their baby.

Mothering is hard, but its also joyful and amazing - or so i've learned in my first 7 months. We need to be told about both sides of mothering, both good and bad, but we need to appreciate them both, no matter our own experience. What a pity that Gisele Bundchen and Jacinta Tynan couldnt appreciate that....

Why No Effort?

One of Mick's friends have just had the honour of becoming first time parents. C rang last night to let us know that they had welcome a baby boy a few days ago and, amongst the usual enquiries of weight, length, and how the labouring went, he mentioned that the new baby is being bottle fed. When Mick asked why, C explained that because Bub had trouble attaching in the first 24 hours the nurses had told mum " ah, just put him on a bottle ".

What?!? Hearing this made me both sad and angry. Why didnt the nurses at this hospital make more effort to help a first time mum have a loving and nurturing connection with her son? Very rarely does any baby master attachment in the first 24 hours, so to say its just going to be easier to bottle feed is a huge cop out. I'm angry that the nurses and midwives, who are there to help mums and their new bubs, didnt think it important enough to sit down and help her out with attachment issues, to explain to her that it can take days, weeks even, for bubs to get the hang of breatfeeding. Angry that they didnt offer a comp feed while they perservered with the boob, and angry that they didnt offer an breastfeeding aids ( such as a nipple shield, which Flynn and I have been using successfully for 6 months now ). I'm sad that because of this lack of effort that this new mum and her baby boy may miss out on the joys of breastfeeding, and the wonderful and, undeniable, nutrional benefits.

Thats Flynn having his boobies right there. Oh, and me and Mick.

Of course, i understand that nurses in maternity wards are busy. Over-worked, yes, and certainly under-appreciated much of the time. But surely, on a maternity ward, help with and advice on first-time breastfeeding must be one of their most important duties. I also acknowledge that bottle-feeding is not the Devil and is not the absolute worst thing in the world - i just think that for a mum who wanted to breastfeed to be told " just put him on a bottle, its easier " is a huge cop out and, frankly, a damn shame.

Kudos to all those hospital in my state - including the one where i gave birth - that are breastfeeding friendly. ( They do have an actual term for it, i just cant remember it ). These hospital advocate breastfeeding over bottle feeding - if you want to bottle feed thats fine and they're not going to nag you into changing your mind - but for everyone else they will do their damnest to make sure mum and bub can successfully breastfeed. Because of the wonderful midwives at my local hospital, Flynn has happily been having boobies for over 6 months, and hopefully for another 6 months more. I'm just sad that C's wife, unless she seeks out a local lactation consultant that will help, is going to miss out, all because people who are charged with her care and paid to give her help, couldnt ( or wouldnt ) make an effort.....

Why Are People of My Generation So Stupid?

Not all of us of course - I mean i dont think I'M stupid, or any of the wonderful Gen-Y bloggers that read. Nope, i'm talking about the apparent majority of people who participated in the survey reported on here: " Breastfeeding embarrasses Gen Y ".

They are kidding right ? Apparently, aswell as finding that the majority of respondents have no idea about the benefits of breastfeeding, according to a survey conducted by the Queensland University of Technology :

More than 50 per cent of women believed it would be uncomfortable to breastfeed in public, and a majority of men and women did not want their child to be breastfed in public for fear of embarrassment.

Why - why should breastfeeding be embarrassing ? And are we talking its embarrassing for the women who is feeding or for the people around who may be able to see her ? It just exasperates me that these people of my generation, aged 19 - 29, who if they dont already have kids may be having them sometimes in the near future..... it just frusturates me that they would respond that way.

Breastfeeding is literally the most natural thing in the world - a womans body is genetically engineered for it. Nature intended for a woman to breastfeed, and for a baby to get the best nutritional benefit from being fed this way, so why is somehing so natural and so good for us considered " embarrassing " ? I can understand perhaps if you were an overly shy woman you might feel a little strange getting your breasts out in public, or a modest bystander may blush a little seeing a woman with a breast out. But lets face it - we're not talking " Girls Gone Wild " exhibitionism here: we're talking a display of flesh so slight you may aswell not see anything at all. It takes maybe 20 seconds to slip your shirt strap and bra down and once thats done the babies head is in the way of anything titillating.

So maybe i can understand how breastfeeding could be embarrassing for a mother ( i still fail to see how its embarrassing so much for bystanders ). What i cant not, and will not ever, be able to wrap my head around is how it can possible be found offensive ( NOTE: offensive is never mentioned in the article; its just a bug bear of mine ). I was listening to talk back radio the other night - at 4am whilst breastfeeding - and some old woman had called in to say that she finds it offensive to see women breastfeeding in public. Its indecent, she said. Seriously, i wanted to either call the radio station and berate this lady or find the old bird and give a good hard bitch slap. How can it possibly be offensive to feed a child the best way possible? Nobody is at the mall just flopping their boobs out for all and sundry to see; none of us breastfeeding ladies is doing it for some pervy, kinky reason, or see how many people we can upset by flashing a bit of nipple as we lift the baby to our breast. Nope, breastfeeding is simply about nutrition and bonding with your child, i dont know how you can find anything offensive about that.

Its people with the same attitude as crazy radio lady that make it embarrassing for some women to feed their children in public. So what do you guys think - embarrassing ? Offensive? Or just plain natural?