A Long and Winding Road Taken and One Still to Travel

Last week was characterised by performance, a brief encounter with a youthful experience and the challenge of intellectual debate. Monday was a day full of meetings, some of which were difficult and had outcomes that some would not have wanted to hear.

The day ended with an open meeting at which, colleagues and external partners could attend to hear some wonderful examples of research and innovation from across the University being presented. Despite the cold, it was -6 outside, there were over 60 people in attendance. The only down side to the event (at least for me) was the showing, yet again, of the University Research DVD – I still find it slightly disconcerting to see a 15 foot high projection of myself describing the research we do.  

Tuesday started with yet more meetings and then I had the chance to present a report on the outcomes of the recent REF Impact Pilots to the Units of Assessment Advisors. I think the sheer amount of work required to get us prepared came as a surprise to many of the participants. It was however, a very productive meeting and raised a number of issues that we will have to come back to. At lunch time, I had my last Editorial meeting with my Nurse Education in Practice colleagues. After four years of involvement on the editorial board, I am leaving the Board. I will retain an International Advisor role, so will still be able to influence the direction of what is one of the best international nurse education journals. Thanks Karen for the opportunity.

The day ended with the latest in the Professorial College presentations. This sessions talk was given by Sharon Rushton on Place, Text and Memory. Sharon made a superb bid for having this work recognised as the 7th University wide theme. The fact that she mentioned our School in her presentation was very generous and perhaps reflects where the relationship between our respective Schools has got to. I think a great future of productive collaboration is assured.

Wednesday started with a meeting with the Schools Students Union Sabbatical Officer Caroline – always a pleasure, this meeting was particular good – Caroline has such a refreshingly grounded view of the world – we did however talk about the march planned for that afternoon in opposition to the proposed increase in annual students fees. Unlike the demonstrations in London, the march in Manchester was trouble free.

Our celebration of five years of service user and carer involvement in the work of the School followed. It was great, a real family celebration, and thanks to  Martin (VC) and Neil (NHS North  West) for coming and supporting our work.

Senate followed, and the VC mentioned the celebration in his verbal report. It was some welcome recognition of the work many colleagues have put into developing these relationships over such a long period of time. I spent the remaining few hours with my mentor and by 22.30 on Wednesday I had clocked up 40 hours work (and that was just the time spent being at the University).

Thursday was spent catching up on my writing, and despite the email interference, it was still possible to get some work done. A draft of a paper with Mikko et al revised and sent off, a 3rd draft paper with Sue and Joanne, revised and prepared, ready to send off to the publishers, which looked at the ethics of mental health nursing, and a quick look at a draft paper with colleagues from Ireland, Richard and Liam.

Friday was our School Development day. The first hour was School Congress. We decided that on this occasion we adopt a Pecha Kucha approach to allowing people to get their points across. Pecha Kucha (Japanese for chit chat) is a form of communication that allows people 20 power point slides, which get shown for no more than 20 seconds each (a total presentation of 6 minutes 20 seconds) and which uses images as the preferred way of communicating. We had six tremendous presentations, (although we might need to work on the timing). The ‘serious’ part of the day was looking at the impact of the recent changes to Equality Legislation on the activities of the School. Many thanks to Lis who led on our examination of the issues involved and presented a very understandable analysis of the main changes to the law.

However, in the afternoon, as we started to look at the issues in detail, and  the discussion unfolded, it seemed to me that some of thinking that may have so often held us back as a profession  is still there, despite much rhetoric to the contrary.  The catalyst for our discussion were the changes we need to make in moving away from being a recruiting School to a selecting School. We anticpate having some 6000 applications this year and that is after raising the entry requirements. In the ensuing conversations it was still possible to hear the somewhat romantic notion of a nurse as an Angel being defended. This notion was was presented in terms of widening particpaton, and arguements that for some people, not having good academic qualifications wouldn't prevent them from being a good nurse.  The latter is possibly true, but such  notions are the demons that plague our profession. Who can forget Gordon Brown, the former UK Prime Minister addressing the RCN shortly after the death of his daughter by thanking the nursing profession for the help they received as a family:

‘So we feel like parents who have been in the presence of angels dressed in nurses' uniforms, performing the most amazing works of mercy and care, and I will never forget seeing in real time every minute of the day that idea of service and selflessness. I am here with Sarah to say not just thank you from our family, but thank you from millions upon millions of families’.

I had to leave the School Development Day early than I had anticipated – and I have since heard the discussion was very good - but later on as I reflected on what I heard, I was reminded of the story of Eva O, (of metallic death rock and punk music fame) who in the middle of her career, and as a result of her somewhat complicated relationship difficulties, wanted to write a dark concept album about angels. During this time, Eva began searching the literature on this subject. Her album was initially entitled Angels Fall for a Demon's Kiss. At first she read only the literature that approached the subject from a new age point of view and finding this one dimensional view limiting, Eva decided to look for more traditional sources and incredibly read Billy Graham’s book entitled Angels. After reading the book, Eva rewrote the album, subsequently entitling it Demons Fall for an Angel's Kiss a somewhat subtle but important shift in perception.

In a crowded and busy world it is easy to see how we can convince ourselves that taking the easy path to change is the right course of action, even if this means not changing.  There is still a long way to go in developing our profession, and I believe we need to constantly find ways of addressing the issues that hold back this development - but at times this can be a hard and wearying task. At the end of a busy week, I briefly experienced that sense of weariness. As I was just about to leave for the weekend, I stood for a moment in quiet contemplation in my darkened office, and wondered if I (and my demons) were in danger of falling for an Angels kiss. However, as I sit and write this blog, the new week beckons. Like last week, it will be full of many opportunities to take things forward and perhaps in so doing, will enable some of those demons to be banished!

Skin Graffiti

It was the most bizarre thing I’d ever seen up to that point in my life. National Geographic magazine showed people in Africa and Asia stretching out their lips and ear lobes by inserting larger and larger wooden disks into slits they’d cut into their own flesh. They believed the mutilation made them attractive and that astonished me. I couldn’t believe people would do that to themselves on purpose, but there they were.

How could they talk with those big disks in their lips, I wondered. As for the long loops in their ear lobes, I wondered if they every got them snagged while walking through thick jungle. That would hurt. So, you can imagine my surprise when I noticed some American guys at the Lovell dump last summer with stretched-out ear lobes just like I’d seen as a kid. It’s been fifty years since I read those National Geographics, but I never thought I’d see Americans doing that to themselves. If I ever did though, I’d expect I’d see them in Portland or Boston, but in Lovell, Maine? I didn’t know the guys, and maybe they were just visiting. I hope so.

So what does it mean when Americans mutilate their faces? Is it a sign of cultural devolution? The decline of western civilization? Or, am I just a right-wing bigot who refuses to celebrate diversity? I’ve been having trouble with this sort of thing ever since men started wearing ear rings, and that was when? Thirty or forty years ago? I’ve gotten used to ear rings on men since but it took a while. When I first saw them, I figured a man with an ear ring was announcing his homosexuality. Then someone gave me a slogan to help me understand: “Left is right and right is wrong,” it went, meaning if the ear ring were in the left ear the guy was straight. I pondered that, but I figured I’d just avoid all men with ear rings no matter what side they were on. To me they announced: “I’m confused.” Now I can accept that some otherwise-normal men wear ear rings. I can deal with them the same way I would if, say, they had an Obama sticker or Kerry/Edwards sticker on their car. I see them as misguided, but maybe not completely hopeless.

I suppose I should apply the same magnanimity to people who pierce themselves in their lips, tongues, nipples and other more intimate parts of their bodies which, hopefully, I’ll never see, but I can’t. For the time being, I shall continue to avoid those people. Maybe I’ll change my mind some day, but I doubt it. One thing about piercings: they can heal up. People do strange things when they’re young and foolish that they grow out of when they mature. Heck, I was a Democrat once. Stop sticking metal into your body and the holes will close.

Some people like getting tattooed when they’re young. “Tattoos are permanent proof of temporary insanity,” someone said once and that still makes sense to me. Another said, “Why would you put something in your skin that you wouldn’t hang on your wall?” I guess tattoos are not permanent anymore, but I’m told it costs a lot of money and some pain to remove them with lasers. Some of my father’s WWII friends had gotten tattoos overseas. It was the mid to late 1950s when I was old enough to notice and ask the men why they had done that to themselves. None were proud of them. All said they did it when they were drunk.

It was in National Geographic again that I first saw facial tattoos on Maori tribesmen in New Zealand. I’d gotten used to seeing them on the arms of my father’s veteran friends, but the facial ones threw me. I wondered why anyone would do that to himself. It wasn’t until I was visiting someone in jail that I saw facial tattoos on Americans, and I guess they’re getting fairly common in prisons. They’re off-putting to the observer and I guess that’s the point. On convicts and violent gang members, they’re definitely signs of civilizational decline.

If the tattooed don’t die young, they grow older of course. Many grow horizontally after a certain age and that distorts their tattoos. Can’t say I ever saw one I thought was attractive, but the tattooed obviously thought so when they stayed still while someone else stuck needles into them repeatedly. Tattoos get fat and wrinkly along with the rest of their bodies. After so many years, they’re just faded skin graffiti that somehow diminish the dignity of old age.

A Labour of Love?

So i was surfing over at http://www.mamamia.com.au/ yesterday and i came across an article entitled " Do Men Belong In The Labour Ward ? " And, i have to say, its gotten up my nose a bit. The gist of the article is that a respected obstetrician has implied that men get in the way during labour and shouldnt be permitted into the ward during the birthing process. Its not so much the article itself that has incensed me ( i'm sure this guy made his big statement months ago, so its kind of old news to me... ) but rather the discussion in the comments section afterwards.

The majority of the comments are overwhelming in favour of having men in the delivery ward, and i am too, thats not my problem. My problem is in the way that a lot of women in the comments have judged men who havent been present for the birth of their children. How.Bloody.Dare.They? I'm sure these same women would jump and down and scream bloody murder if anyone dare judge them on any facet of their parenting, but they feel its ok to judge the fathers who, for whatever reason, havent made it into the delivery suite with their wives/partners/mothers of their children. One woman even described blokes who dont want to be in there as " cavemen ". Others have suggested ( subtley ) that men who arent present for the birth of their children mustnt be good fathers - if they dont want to be there for the very beginning, how are they going to be with the rest of the whole parenting thing?

I have to say - those kind of comments have mad me really mad. I've already written the in depth story of my sons birth here ( feel free to have a read if you havent already ) so i wont double up on the details but Mick was NOT present in the room for my labour. And, frankly, i'm glad about it. We spoke about what would happen when i went into labour, and from the get go Mick said he would prefer not to be there. When i asked why, he explained that he's very squeamish and aside from that, he wasnt sure how he would be able to cope with seeing me in pain. He was man enough to admit that, rather than be the tower of masculine strength that society insists our men should be, he would probably crumble in the face of a difficult birth and probably vomit, pass out or both. It wasnt that he didnt WANT to be there, because he loved his unborn baby and could not wait to meet him, but rather that his physical limits would prevent him being much help. And, though i was a little shocked at first, after thinking it through, i agreed - if he was going to get whoozy, or spewy, or go silent and just sit across the room and stare at me like i was some hideous, terrifying lady-beast, what use would he be to me? He'd be more of a hindrance and a distraction, for me and the midwives, than he would be a help, so i was quite content to say " Babe - you just make sure your there to hold your bubba for the first time and thats enough for me". And it was - i had my mother there for the labour and the birth, and Mick stepped into the room as Flynn was being laid on my chest for the first time. Bliss.

So why then would some women judge my fiance, a man whom i love and who is a wonderful, amazing, loving father, labelling him a "caveman "? In my eyes, he's a real man for having the balls to admit his weaknesses. I'm sure there are a lot of men who would prefer not to be in the labour ward, but are guilted into it by the mother. Some of those men may find a reserve of strength and be awesome birthing partners; some may be completely useless and the mother may regret having him there at all. I know there are also plenty of men who cannot wait for those first contractions, so excited are they to be there for all the grunting and moaning and " YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!! ". To me, its all good either way - if he wants to be there, good; if he doesnt, no sweat. Its for each and every couple to decide....as long as the decision is made together. As so many of these women at Mamamia said, child-rearing is an equal partnership, so the decisions surrounding birth should be made together, as a compromise.

Just dont judge men like mine who werent there when they could have been.I'm fine with him being in the waiting room, dealing with all his fears and trepidations about immediate impending parenthood....so why shouldnt you be? If it worked for us, and we were happy, aint none of yo business to be judgin'!

And Update And Some News

Ah Tuesday - Operation Slimdown update day. Some weeks i cant wait for you to get around, some weeks i dread you turning up. This week ? I'm not really fussed either way. I'm thinking i may just do a fortnightly update when i do my weigh ins, because its seems a bit redundant to do an update on a week where i have no results to share. Its essentially going to be the same post over and over - either " i ate well, did my exercise " or " fell off the wagon this week! ". This past week has been a bit odd really - i ate well but i didnt get any exercise at all in because i was feeling so gross. Flynn had gotten croup and i spent three days with a small, sooky, sick baby attached to me, only wanting his mama.... and by the end of those three days i'd picked up the cold/flu portion of his illness. And i've been felling blah ever since. So Zumba was off the agenda and even though i felt up for my usual walks with my sister the constant rain ( as mentioned last post, down there ) wouldnt allow for it.  So there's the update.

The news ? Its only small but i wanted to share... that i am now part of the admin team over Blog This! I'll be doing a monthly " Blogs of Interest " post, which involves me choosing a theme for the week and finding 5ish blogs i think fit the theme and would be of interest to others. My first post will be Boxing Day ( Dec 26th ) but i'm not giving away my theme, so if your a Blog This! member watch out for it! And if your not a member - what are you waiting for?

Making the Familiar Strange and the Art of Noisy Futures

I have become a mean, lean, snow clearing machine. For four days last week I had to get up early and clear the drive in order we could get the cars out. It was hard work, especially at 5am in the morning, with a full day’s work still to come. Yesterday the snow was replaced by rain which has frozen overnight making it treacherous underfoot this morning. However, the snow and cold weather gave rise to some fantastic photos capturing the big freeze. I liked this one from the front page of Thursday’s Times newspaper.

This week I stayed overnight in the V+A for a two day College Executive Retreat.  Now many regular readers of this blog will know that the V+A is not my favourite hotel in the world - somehow, the V+A never really presses my buttons. This time the experience was different, for once the ambiance of the hotel faded into the background. I was taken up by the conversations and for me the two days were a kind of Unconditional Positive Regard meets Uncomplicated Transactional Relationships. If this description of the two days sounds a little hard, cold and unappetizing, in real life this was not the case.

We were there to consider, as a College what our future might look like. Some aspects of our future were known, (for example reductions in commissions, the need to grow our research base and so on) whereas at other times we appeared to be missing important bits of information, so our discussions were self limiting. I found myself living out the theoretical constructs I so often write, speak and publish about. I was at the edges of knowledge, and knowing in that place of not knowing. I haven’t been there for a while and it was both an exciting place and also slightly frightening.

As a School, the world we have inhabited for so long has changed, and there is much we now don’t know. Albert Einstein said that the ‘most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious’ – and the only certain thing about our future is the degree of uncertainty we face, but where we go is entirely up to us as individuals and collectively as a School and College. Some may see the future as being filled with problems; I see it as being filled with challenges and opportunities.

It is clear to me, that as a School, alongside the great work that is going on developing the best new nursing degree programme possible for September 2011, we need to think about our futures in other directions. We have some good, very attractive and relevant programmes in our portfolio. So for example, whilst we might not be unable to provide these to overseas students as currently approved, there are  opportunities to think about how these programmes could be facilitated using new and different approaches.

Doing this won’t be easy. During the two days of conversations and interactions, I was reminded of the work of Luigi Russolo. He was the world’s first noise artist. In 1913 he wrote, L'Arte dei Rumori, translated as the Art of Noises. This work explored how the changes made possible by the industrial revolution had given rise to the opportunity to move away from the confines of traditional music to something more complex, something new yet still familiar.

Russolo designed and constructed a number of noise-generating devices and assembled a noise orchestra to perform with them. However, in his early days these performances were met with outcry and even violence from critics and audiences alike. Others saw his work as seminal and influential. One of my favorite groups of the early eighties took his work as the name for their group. The Art of Noise was an avant-garde electronic group who mastered the use of digital sampling, an approach which eventually gave rise to the hugely important dance music scene.

Sampling is the act of taking a portion, or sample of one sound recording (often very familiar and well known lyric or piece of music) and reusing it over and over again, but in slightly different ways to the original in order to create new music. This approach is exactly what we need to do with our programmes, not only in the School, but across the College. But like Russolo, I think this might be a more difficult task to achieve than describe.

Here Comes The Rain Again...

So i may have mentioned previously that i live in a rural town by the name of Dubbo ( yes, Dubbo - its a funny word. Have a laugh ... ). And those of you living in Australia, and especially in New South Wales, may have heard that Dubbo is currently experiencing a liiiiiiiiiiitle bit of a flood problem. Farmers in the middle of harvest have lost almost all the crops they still had in the ground, people in low-lying areas close to the river have had either there land or the homes water-logged and, most inconveniently ( read: sarcasm ), people living on the west side of town now only have one bridge to use to get home instead of two because the lower-lying bridge has gone under water. Fear not though - I and my family are safe. And not only safe, but happy.... because its looking likely that i wont have to work on Monday! Hooray! See the shopping centre where i work has had its carpark completely flooded, and because all the electricity, sewage and gas controls are in the underground carpark, all the stores need to shut down until the controls can be used again. Woo! Wana see some evidence?

The carpark of the shopping centre where i work - totally underwater!

Some rescue workers cruising their boat up the street where i usually drive...

My dad, hard at work. He might need a snorkel soon!

*Note* - all pics courtesy of the awesome Speaking OneThousandWords Photography. Look her up on Facebook!

Defining Communism in Class

“What is communism?” I asked the class after writing the word on the board. “I’d like to find an unbiased definition.

One girl was looking in the glossary of her textbook for a definition. “I have one,” she said.

“Okay,” I said, nodding to her.

“‘Communism: economic system in which all property is owned by the community,’” she recited.

I thanked her, then asked the class: “Does that definition make communism sound good, bad, or neutral?”

“It makes communism sound good,” said a boy, “as if everything was equal.”

“Makes communism sound good,” I repeated. “‘An economic system in which all property is owned by the community.’ Who agrees that the textbook’s definition is biased by making communism sound good?”

About three quarters raised their hands.

“Anybody disagree?”

No hands.

“How about we try to come up with a definition with as little bias as possible?”

“Just use a dictionary,” said another girl. “They’re not biased.”

“Oh no?” I said. “Let’s check them out. Take out your laptops. Go to Dictionary.com or whatever site you like to use.”

They pulled computers out of cases, opened their lids, and soon there were hands in the air. “‘a theory or system of social organization based on the holding of all property in common, actual ownership being ascribed to the community as a whole or to the state,’” said a boy.

“Okay,” I said. “Does that definition have any bias for or against communism?”

“Doesn’t sound like it to me,” said a girl. “That sounds neutral.”

“Who agrees?” I asked the whole class.

About half raised their hands.

“What about the rest of you?” I asked. My sense was they were tentative and not confident enough to offer an opinion one way or another, so I moved on. Another girl said, “a system of social organization in which all economic and social activity is controlled by a totalitarian state dominated by a single and self-perpetuating political party.”

“Well?” I said expectantly. “Any bias?” I wondered if she knew what “totalitarian” and “self-perpetuating” meant.

“I’m not sure, but it doesn’t sound good,” she said.

“Totalitarian government is one that has total control over people’s lives,” I said. “A self-perpetuating political party is one that does whatever is necessary to stay in power, in control.”

I waited a few seconds in case there were questions. “What do you think now? Does that definition sound biased?”

“Yup,” she said. “It doesn’t make communism sound good at all - kind of like it was shown in ‘Dr. Zhivago.” We had watched that movie in class for its depiction of World War I, the Bolshevik Revolution, and communism’s effects on the central character’s family.

“So, communism is: ‘a system of social organization in which all economic and social activity is controlled by a totalitarian state dominated by a single and self-perpetuating political party,’” I repeated. “Do you all agree that definition makes communism sound bad?”

“Definitely,” said a boy.

“Yes,” said the girl who first read the definition and wasn’t sure.

“Are any of you surprised that dictionaries can be biased when defining certain words?”

Several students nodded. “I just never thought of dictionaries that way,” said a girl.

“Well,” I said. “Communism is controversial. People to the right of center on the political spectrum tend to be hostile toward communism and socialism, but people on the left tend to think they could be good systems if applied well.” We had studied a political spectrum earlier in the year. “The people who wrote your book are like that, for example. They’re left of center.”

“Most words aren’t controversial, however. They may have different shades of meaning, but there’s little disagreement or bias when defining them.”

“So, do you think we could come up with an unbiased definition?” I asked the whole class.

Lots of blank stares and wide eyes, but no one volunteered to craft a definition.

“Awe, come on,” I said. “Nobody?”

Some scrunched their shoulders, but no one volunteered.

“Okay, how about this one,” I wrote on the board as I recited: “‘Communism - an economic system in which there is no private property and government decides who makes what and who gets what.’”

Then I turned around and asked, “What do you think? Any bias?”

“I think it’s biased against communism,” said a boy.

“Why is that?” I asked.

“It makes it seem like government is all-powerful.”

“Uh-huh,” I said. “Anybody else?”

“I don’t think it’s biased. That’s the way communism is,” said another boy. “Government, or ‘the party’ decides everything.”
“Okay,” I said. “Who thinks my definition is biased against communism?”

Only three hands went up.

“Who thinks it isn’t?”

Three more hands. The rest refrained from expressing an opinion.

“Well,” I said. “I am biased against communism, but I was trying to be neutral. We’re almost out of time, so we’ll let that definition stand for now.”