Happy Dad's day!

So today is father's day. A day to remember dad. Celebrate him. Cherish him. Give him a cheesy card(which I did). Oh and here's a father's day joke, "Why is father's day in June? Because about a month after mother's day someone said 'hey wait a minute'" Okay might not really be that funny but it was on the cheesy I got my dad.
The pictures are kinda random but they fit. The not is a letter I wrote to my dad. Get it? It's just one letter! HA, HA, HA!!!! And the other is of my dad on his birthday with a sack on his head(I didn't have time to wrap his gift so I stuck it in the sack it came in.)

Color and Sex

Men are four to ten times more likely to be colorblind than women. Color is important to women. Men don’t generally care about it much unless they’re gay.

When my daughter bought a house last summer, all the women who checked it out said the house was “cute.” Without exception, however, they were appalled with the blue-painted woodwork in the living room and the pink walls in the bathroom. “I can’t live in here until I paint that over,” said my daughter, while the other women nodded gravely. Several volunteered to help put on a new color because it would have been too much to expect any women to exist in the presence of that blue. “Why would anybody do that?” they asked each other, referring to the previous owner’s color selection.

None of the men noticed the paint. None. They looked at the roof, siding, plumbing, wiring, septic system, and boiler. “Nice,” they said. The women didn’t like the yellow paint on the outside either, but the men were unaffected. “What’s wrong with it?” they asked. “It won’t need to be painted again for four or five years.”

“That yellow is icky,” said the women. The men shrugged.

Another woman told me how she saw a beautiful blue in the sky above the ocean one day and tried to capture it with her camera. When she got home and examined it, she was so disappointed, she cried. “You actually cried?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm,” I said.

Colors are related to creativity,” said my wife. “They affect your mood and women are more attuned to their mood than men are. Color affects mood for everyone, but women are more aware of it.”

That reminded me of something a poet said several years ago contrasting women and men about how they deal with their feelings. Women, he said, have a huge vocabulary to describe how they’re feeling and they tend to discuss it endlessly with each other. Men, however, do not, and if they should be feeling something strongly, they won’t necessarily know what’s going on inside them. It’s as if they turn their eyes backward and look down into their chests, he said. They see a maelstrom of feelings swirling there, but can’t label any of them.

Women have a huge vocabulary for colors too - several dozen at least - whereas most men I know have only six or seven basic words describing color corresponding to the spectrum. Men could talk on and on about the advantages and disadvantages of forced hot air heating systems compared to forced hot water or radiant heat systems. How they feel about them would never come up.

A University of Maryland study discussed how something called the OPN1LW gene for perceiving color resides in the X chromosome. “Because females can have two different versions of this gene, but men can have only one, females may be able to perceive a broader spectrum of colors in the red/orange range. Men and women may be literally seeing the world differently,” said one of the researchers.

It’s not just what they see that makes women different from us. How we process that data is important too. On any given day, men tend to use their heads more than their hearts, so color and mood would not be as significant for them as it would be for women who tend to use their hearts more than their heads. Head and heart are each necessary for an integrated human existence but balancing the two would seem best. Some men and women do this individually, but most of us have to do it in union.

While reading recently, a quote about mood and attitude jumped out at me: “We see the world not as it is. We see it as we are.” Since we’re all different, our existence would be awfully narrow if we didn’t listen to and ponder how people around us see things. I’ve lived long enough and been married long enough to know that men and women do indeed perceive the world differently and only some of that has to do with color. Most of the rest is still a mystery and likely to remain such - for me at least.

And how do they know this?

So Tuesday at VBS in music we asked some one the kids who their favorite Musician. Of course there where girls who said Hannah Montana and bands like that, but I must list some of the more interesting ones.

Me to a 1st grade boy- What's your favorite musician?

1st grader- "Umm, uh I think that guy from uh Kiss, yeah Kiss"

Okay, and he's heard them how?

To the 2nd graders.

2nd graders- "Eagles" "Devil went down to Georgia"(I know it's not a band but still) "The Beatles" (to which Tessa got very excited) "The Queen" (that's how the little boy said it I know it is just Queen)

So after that Mr. John turns and asks how they know all of these bands. To which we reply "Guitar Hero". So that was interesting how much little ones know.

So in music yesterday we let the kids come up front and do the moves with us down front in the choir room as long as they do the motions. Anyway when we did this with the first graders there was one little girl that I know from the home school group and she hadn't come up and I could tell she wanted to so I motioned her up and she came up and turned to me and said "I don't know wear my pants are." So I look down and her t-shirt goes almost down to her knees so you could tell, but I thought I saw the edge of a skirt so I didn't really know what to say. Then she looks down and sees the little edge and says "Oh there they are" of course I'm like Okay what just happened here? Oh well that's VBS for ya. Talk later.

Carson Kressley - stylist, fabulously flamboyant gay man, inspiration

So here's the thing - i desperately want for Carson Kressley to be my cliche gay friend. So does my sister. Maybe we could share him, and we'd be this cool, well-dressed little trio. I'm obsessed by fashion makeover shows and, if i had cable or pay tv, i'd probably only ever watch the fashion channel. Point is, Carson is my favourite of all the celebrity style gurus. I'm loving his new show here on Channel 10 - " How To Look Good Naked ". Ironically, apparently the key to looking good naked is knowing how to dress yourself, or so the theory goes. See, the basis of the show is that Carson takes a woman who has body issues and teaches her to love her figure by showing her how to dress for her best assets. Its actually kind of a theory i wrote about in a post a few months back - only i didnt exactly advocate the getting naked part.

Anyhoo, this brings me to the crux of my post. After this weeks episode, my sister and i discussed the parts of our bodies we like - and, i'm glad to note, we both had positive things to say. I dont know if i've mentioned it before, but although my sister and i both wear the same clothing size, we have vastly different body shapes , plus she is 7 years younger than me, so it was nice to be able to share and compare with someone who was going to have something different to say. My sister, in my perspective, is tall and thin, with long-ish legs and a small upper body. She's the kind of girl that can pull of a micro-mini, where as i am not - but thats all good. I totally rock a pencil skirt because of my curves, where as my coltish sister probably wouldnt be able to get away with it.

And so, this brings me to the shortlist of things i like about my body. Yep, even though i do blog about going to the gym, and trying not to eat crap, it doesnt mean i'm suffering on a diet or having overwhelming body-hate issues. Here it is, a post where i, a young, modern, woman, lists the things she LIKES about her body:
1. My waist - so alright, i like my waist. Its a small, defined, waist. I'm not going to give a measurement ( even though i know it ) but suffice to say i go (slightly) out at the chest, in in the middle, and out at the hips. Having a well defined waist means that when i wear my favourite pencil skirt with a fitted top, or a cute fitted dress, i get that awesome, old school, hourglass shape. I like that, too.
2. My upper arms/shoulders/decollatege - so technically thats three things in one, but they're all kind of inter-related. What i like about the aforementioned area is that its toned and tight, a legacy of yoga and light weights training. I dont have that flabby, old lady upper arm thing - which is not to say i would hate myself if i did, or anyone else for that matter - but i've worked hard and it shows. I'm proud of that. It means i can pull off strapless dresses or cute little camis and still look trim and toned.
3. My eyes - i know most women would list their eyes as one of their favourite features - because its really hard to find fault with them - but i really do like mine. Their big and their brown, and i have naturally long eyelashes that only look better when coated with lashings of black mascara. They get played up by purple shadow or liner, and are the first thing i choose to highlight for special occasions make up. Its kind of hard to go wrong with my eyes ( unless i let my 2 and half year old neice do my make-up - it was a fun game but she's not coming at me with an eyeshadow brush next time i hit the pub ).

So there you be. Any ladies readers feel free to take this as a challenge to list your own body loves, and male readers should feel free to take it upon themselves to list what they really love about the female species. Share the love, y'all, share the love!

Wii is weally, weally, gweat!

Would someone please be kidn enough to donate me enough money to buy a Ninetendo Wii system? Seriously, i've never been a huge gamer or anything but the Wii is pretty ace. And guess who bought one? My parents. Yes, you read that right, my 40-something parents bought themselves a Nintendo Wii so that they could use the Wii Fit program, in the comfort and privacy of their own homes. Bless them for embracing technology i say. I also say their awesome because now my brother and i can rock up to the parentals place and challenge them to any number of Wii Sports games. I've just spent the past two hours playing Wii Bowling and Wii Golf - who knew i'd be so good at interactive sports ? We also played a trivia game but that wasnt half as fun because my sister accused me of being too smart for my own good.

That, and nobody fell over answering trivia questions....

I have to find a man outlet - fast!

I have an inappropriate crush on a bank teller. There you go, i'm putting it out there - i have a crush. Not one of those school girl crushes where you write the guys name all over your school books and follow him around making puppy dog eyes. No, this one is more a dirty, perverted type of thing. Don't look at me like that - girls are allowed to have those kinds of crushes too. See, there is a young guy who works at the bank across from my work. I say young because he's probably around 19 years old - approximately 5 years younger than my good self. This young bank teller has the biggest hands i've ever seen. Seriously, he's not absurdly tall but he's built like a football player and he has enormous hands. Strong hands. Manly hands. So, for stories sake, lets call him Banky McHands.

Anyhoo, Banky McHands has these big, strong, manly hands. I know for a fact, seeing as i used to go to the same gym as him, that these big, strong, manly hands lead up to big, strong, well muscled arms. Thats my thing, you see - just like some men are boob guys, or some women fall head over heels for that V thing some guys have at the hip ( incidentally.... yum ), i'm an arm girl. I like guys with well cut arms, arms that look like they could alternately pick you up and hold you against a wall or wrap themselves around you until you fall asleep. So here's Banky McHands with his big hands and muscular arms and here's me, every time i've been to the bank for the last few weeks, subtlely watching his hands move and wondering how well he can use them. Don't look at me like that either - you catch my drift.

But its getting worse - i discovered, in a brief lapse of focus, that Banky McHands has a really good bum. I'd say arse, but thats makes me sound even more horny, perverted and desperate than i already am. I'm now alternating between daydreams about how much use i could put those big hands to, and visions of his bare bum as he rolls out of bed. Good lord child, i have issues.

A woman cant help developing inappropriate crushes on well cut bank tellers when she hasnt had a man to speak of for quite a while. Can she? Seriously, quit looking at me like that....

Can't Drill It Into Them

No blood for oil? Okay. How about food? Is anyone willing to fight for that? A gallon of milk is going up about as fast as a gallon of gasoline. Rice is going up too and so is corn. Why? Simple. It’s Economics 101: Supply is down and demand is up for both oil and for food, and now we’re using grain for biofuel instead of food and our federal tax dollars are subsidizing it. China and India are developing quickly, eating more, and buying more fuel. Supplies haven’t been going up to keep pace. The result? Higher prices. This isn’t rocket science.

Why haven’t supplies been going up? Congress won’t allow more drilling. They want to protect wildlife in Alaska (mosquitoes mostly) and along our coastlines. Animal lovers and their Democrat patrons are still traumatized by memories of sea birds coated with oil after the Exxon Valdez spill and nothing could be worse for them than a repeat of that. So, no drilling in ANWR. Local governments won’t allow construction of more refineries to produce gasoline and heating oil. Ted Kennedy won’t allow any windmills near Nantucket and nuclear power plants are not even discussed.

So we buy foreign oil. As the price of that goes up, more of our money goes to real or potential enemies like Iran, Venezuela, and Russia. We get weaker and they get stronger. But hey, we’re preserving mosquito habitat in Alaska and shark habitat in the Gulf, right? Soaring fuel prices get Americans to think about walking, riding bicycles and taking the train more, right? Carbon emissions are going down and Al Gore likes that, right?

After the Arab Oil Embargo thirty-five years ago, fuel prices soared. That was the kind of warning some forty-year-old guys get when they have a mild heart attack. The smart ones realize they better stop smoking, start exercising, and change their eating habits. The dumb ones ignore the warning and die of a big one by fifty. Our federal government ignored our early oil warning in the seventies and we’re still not ready to handle rising prices thirty-five years hence.

And it’s not just Democrats. Republicans have been in control of the White House and Congress a few times since then and they’ve done next to nothing about national energy policy either. It’s been nearly seven years since September 11th and still nothing from our alleged leaders in Washington. Doesn’t look like it’s going to change in the foreseeable future either. Obama doesn’t support drilling ANWR and even John McCain said he wouldn’t allow it either. It’s maddening.

Monday night, Maine’s First District congressional candidates debated at the Magic Lantern Theater in Bridgton. The primary isn’t until next week but Democrats and Republicans were on the same stage answering questions - pretty unusual. Judging from audience reaction, rising fuel prices were foremost in people’s minds. When asked about what they would do about them, the Democrat candidates offered the same old pap about alternative energy sources and conservation. They went on about wind, geothermal, hydro, solar and tidal energy, government-mandated miles-per-gallon limits, excess-profits taxes on oil companies - the same stuff we’ve been hearing for decades.

Republican candidate Dean Scontras pointed out that our our tax dollars are wasted on federal subsidies for biofuels. “It takes two gallons of gasoline to produce one gallon of ethanol,” he said. “There’s 86 billion barrels of oil off our coast and Congress says we can’t go out there [and drill]. All these alternative energy sources are great, but oil is going to be $200 a barrel by the end of the year. Those alternative sources aren’t going to reduce the cost to heat your home anytime soon. I’m for lifting the restrictions on drilling off our coasts, in North and South Dakota, in Alaska - increasing supplies so our prices go down. That’s how the market works. We haven’t built a refinery in this country in twenty-five years because of all the regulation required to construct one. Twenty-five years! That’s outrageous.” He added that the Chinese, the Cubans and the Canadians are drilling off our coasts, but we can’t. That answer brought - by far - the biggest applause of the night.

As I left the theater, I didn’t see anybody getting on a bicycle. On the way home, I didn’t see any windmills or solar panels either. I did see numbers outside gas stations advertising gas prices approaching $4 per gallon though. I saw lots of those.